The Loo Leash

[IwantToRetire]

I sought help from the NHS and was told that this sounded like anxiety and could be helped with CBT, but I would be on a waiting list for at least nine months. I knew that I couldn’t stay at home for a year, so I devised ways of managing it. I read forums (mostly Mumsnet with women who’d been pregnant or had damaged bladders due to childbirth); I obsessed over planning journeys in meticulous detail; downloaded apps (Toilet Finder and The Great British Toilet Map were good); and knew where every McDonalds, Wetherspoons and BP was in a 20-mile radius.

In the end, through extreme organisation, and the passage of time, I got better without counselling. But this experience opened my eyes to something I can now never not see, something many others have bemoaned for years: the lack of public toilets in Britain.

https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/anxious-britains-public-toilets-disappeared-2903257

In fact this article isn't specifically about women, although does look at the impact of the lack of public toilets on women (and has a mention of mumsnet without sarcasm or scorn!).

My personal experience was genuinely excruciating for those months, but it was nothing compared with the permanent ‘loo leash’ that one in five Brits live on, according to the RSPH report, meaning they are deterred from leaving home or straying too far because of lack of facilities.

There are almost <a class="break-all" href="https://archive.ph/o/DTrHL/www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthandwellbeing/bulletins/disabilityenglandandwales/census2021" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">10 million people on the disability register in England and there are 10 million people over 55 who suffer from some type of condition that requires them to find a toilet urgently.

Beyond that, consider the elderly, the pregnant, the menstruating, lorry drivers, delivery drivers, taxi drivers, homeless people, people out exercising, young children and their frazzled parents, people on long-distance journey… the list is endless. More than half (56 per cent of us) <a class="break-all" href="https://archive.ph/o/DTrHL/www.rsph.org.uk/static/uploaded/459f4802-ae43-40b8-b5a006f6ead373e6.pdf" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">say we deliberately dehydrate ourselves to avoid being caught short.

Article behind paywall but can be read here https://archive.ph/DTrHL

The lack of safe clean public toilets is a major concern. I suspect it’s what has lead to increase in business for Tena products as a safety measure ‘just in case’

increase in business for Tena products

Have they said this has happened? Only the other day there was an ad on tv about an (older?) woman saying she couldn't go to a gig, and her friend telling her about Tena (or maybe it was another product).

And I was thinking that it showed how some things have changed (even for the wrong reasons) to be able to talk about what was once a taboo subject, and that "older" women might want to go out with a friend to enjoy themselves!

I do feel that women are more disadvantaged by lack of public toilets than men.

Not forgetting that there was a move to have those strange pop up urinals for men on street corners, ie accepting that men needed to pee and there should be a solution. But no thought for women.

My post wasn’t quite right I should have said I suspect it’s led to an increase whereas the way it’s worded implies I think it’s the sole reason for the increase which it isn’t.

There’s many factors for increased sales including ageing population, changing health care needs and greater accessibility of products. But anecdotally I’m aware of older women in particular concerned that they won’t be able to find a public toilet when they are out and using a Tena pad ‘just in case’

I suspect it’s led to an increase

I suspect that you are right. That's why I mentioned the ad. They wouldn't have put money into unless they thought there was a market.

And as the article says its not always because of age.

I can remember some years ago when in a newish job and I had to get across London to an appointment. I had not reason to suspect I would need a toilet, but realised halfway there I did (urgently) and tube trains dont have loos. Nor do the maps mark which stations have toilets.

So on the off chance I got off at a station that was a major interchange and the station staff said there were toilets but unfortunately the Ladies was out of order. So in a rush I said I'll just use the men's and they looked a bit taken aback but didn't stop me. So I burst in on 3 men using urinals (luckily not the cubicle) and was saved. Nobody looked at anybody as I left!

And as in the article I found out that nearly also a Weatherspoons will be a good bet. In fact some of their toilets are so huge you could probably hold a meeting in one, on the off chance it really would be women only.

When I lived in London I had this pdf saved to my phone: https://content.tfl.gov.uk/toilets-map.pdf

There is also this: https://tfl.gov.uk/cdn/static/cms/documents/enhanced-customer-toilet-information.pdf

Lack of public toilets is very much a consequence of successive governments cutting budgets of local councils. Many Conservatives have an illogical obsession with 'shrinking the state' which just means essential services that are a hallmark of a civilised society deteriorate and problems are displaced. No money is actually saved and instead ends up costing more in the long run. It's such a stupid ideological obsession.
The UK has so much potential to be world-class in terms of its infrastructure and services, yet it's been in terminal decline for decades.

Raymond Martin of the BTA tells i that this is primarily down to austerity-era budget cuts – local authority expenditure on public loos has halved since 2010. There is no law that forces councils to have or maintain public toilets, so when the purse strings need to be tightened, they are often an easy one to chop. Although Martin warns that money saved from closing toilets can end up being spent on cleaning the streets – Westminster council reportedly spends £950k a year mopping up wee. Chronic underfunding also means that many toilets are poorly maintained so feel unclean or unsafe.

As well as a lack of funding, Martin says that our lack of a centralised government office for sanitation means accountability slips through the cracks. “[Currently] toilets fall a little bit under health, under environment, building control… no one person has their hand on the joystick. We really need a toilet commissioner or a toilet tzar who can look at the situation.”

Apparently Costa are OK for people to use their toilets without being customers.

I just go to m&s or a cafe/pub/restaurant. Occasionally get bad looks but we've all underpaid council tax for years in favour of the private sector which includes eateries . I have avoided public toilets if there is a choice because they are generally pretty grim so I'm not sure how much they are used apart from those with conditions.

As I recall, the pop-up urinals for men came about because men were already pissing in every corner in Soho, so the council was trying to give them something to aim at so fewer dark corners would reek of urine. I'm not sure they even got to thinking of the user experience of people caught short on a night out!

I find it's spending time in parks with young kids that means I'm far from a loo. Many parks have the loo blocks but they're either disused or vandalised to be in an awful state (I still make do with them). At least in towns or shopping areas there will be somewhere.

Also, could you really unleash a full bladder on a tena pad?!

When I was in my mid-thirties I had stress incontinence so badly it was operable (in those days - I remember the urologist I was sent to being clearly worried that I was so young). This was, of course, the result of pregnancy. Going out was a nightmare if I did not know where there was a loo, and I often ended up sitting in such a way that if I had an 'accident' at least it would not stain my skirt (trousers a complete no-no). Years later I have a prolapse (caused by pregnancy and the following op, it turns out) and am again always in need of a loo. If I know I will not have a loo nearby then I restrict my drinking. It is certainly a leash - and in my thirties an awful one, for there were no products available for leaks as there are now. I think the market has expanded because more of us live longer and also because women are less willing to give up freedom (or can't afford to).

Tena are very expensive. You can get much cheaper (and often more functional) incontinence products from https://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/incontinence-shop.html and any profits go to the charity.

All these councils going bust are also shutting the few public toilets they had as a cost cutting measure.

So sorry @Grammarnut for what you to have been put through.

One of the problems if there is actually a medical cause is getting anyone in the NHS to respond in a way that acknowledges it can be life limiting.

And very often (probably the topic for another thread) it is getting GPs, even in this day and age, not to just brush of symptons as "women's complaints" that we are just supposed to endure.

Although ironically, the problems I had when younger, where because of a medical condition usually associated with men, and not any of the various GPs I saw at different stages of my life ever thought to test for it. I was just brushed off as a "frequent flyer" but now thanks to a scan for something else, have had a diagnosis and ongoing medication.

Although did get caught short, totally out of the blue, in my local Iceland, where close to tears I begged the manager to let me use the staff toilet. I think in the end he was so embarrased he let me. It was by the way scrupulously clean!

Thanks @CrossPurposes for the links to toilets and public transport. If only I had known about them a few years ago.