Oh Julie!

[StephanieSuperpowers]

You do make me laugh!

https://www.spiked-online.com/2024/02/06/why-the-be-kind-era-is-bad-for-women/

It's horrific, but who actually agrees online to have sex?

Love your articles in The Spectator, Julie. I've been telling my granddaughter that she should forget about "being kind" and adopt the motto "don't be mean". There's a world of difference between those two positions

I tell my DD to be fair rather than kind, to herself and anyone else.

This is quite common when online dating - I noticed men often seem to arrive at the conclusion you've agreed to have sex with them by getting you to say you want something casual, then agreeing to meet them. For some of them, these two separate things lead to them concluding you will be having sex with them the first time you meet, like some kind of free prostitute.

It's like they go blind to reality and common sense.

I'm not young, free or single enough to know but I presume some people do actually explicitly agree online to meet up for sex. On tinder or grindr or whatever. But even then it's absolutely basic that that doesn't mean a blanket yes. Even if you agree to a very specific set of arrangements, turn up so equipped and then ask your partner to stop, they should stop. Just because you said you felt like a cup of tea an hour ago doesn't mean someone should force you to finish it now it's gone cold and you've realised you don't actually like it.

@anothernamitynamenamechange You're quite right, I don't think those views are just young men, but young people as a whole. I think that was an assumption on my part because my brain simply wouldn't let me believe that young women could also think these things!

Agree that it's like common sense has gone out the window, along with basic decency.

I have to say, it's little wonder that kids these days have all these different identities, like 'I don't want sex until I'm emotionally involved' identity. (Demi-sexual??).

You'd kind of want it upfront and out in the open, if, by not being explicit, sex is actually considered a foregone conclusion.

Again, where the fuck is the PSHE lesson that addresses this?

Or are they too busy telling 12-year-old girls it's perfectly normal to watch porn every night??

ffs.

You have the approval of more of us than you may think, Julie! Thanks for staying real.

Great article.

JulieRaven · Today 11:32

Thrilled to see I have the approval of Mumsnet at last! We're probably NOT natural bedfellows - but in these weird times, we're all rebels. PUNK'S NOT DEAD!

No, but Wattie sure LOOKS dead.

Thrilled to have you here Julie! Please continue with the controversy and brilliant articles. 🙌

Thank you so much for all the lovely messages! I know I'm not everyone's tisane de Twinings but we WOMEN need to stick together (sounds pervy) and not let cross dressers dress us down. PUNK'S STILL NOT DEAD! Come to my play about Marilyn Monroe in May, on Brighton Pier, and I'll buy you a drink. (Or seven.)

I tell my DDs to Be Considerate.

Unfortunately, I don't know how much my grumpy middle-aged-hag voice is heard, compared to the omnipresent BeKind Eye of Sauron that drowns out everything.

I don't imagine teens are greatly influenced by what a teacher says in a PSHE lesson, compared to what they see on social media (and normalised in porn) and hear from friends.

I taught my daughter to kick arse. Sometimes it comes back to bite me on the arse but she is thriving in every possible way.

They ought to know that being in a sexual relationship with someone doesn't mean that you can legally rape them.

I'm not sure why you are quoting me - I would never imply otherwise. I'm just doubtful that improvements in delivery of PSHE will really weigh up against the general misogynistic culture of society. It would have an influence, but a small one.

I wasn't disagreeing with you.

I agree that it doesn't appear to have much of an influence.

But what I'm trying to say, is that at the very least, they should know what constitutes rape. It's a bloody low bar not to know that rape is illegal, even if the victim is your girlfriend.

JulieRaven · Yesterday 13:37

Thank you so much for all the lovely messages! I know I'm not everyone's tisane de Twinings but we WOMEN need to stick together (sounds pervy) and not let cross dressers dress us down. PUNK'S STILL NOT DEAD!

Well, you insisted!

Don't be thanking me Helen, I'll end up posting Chinese Takeaway by the Adicts (sic) and you'll all end up with the munchies!

Great seeing Julie on here, presuming it is Julie. She's been making me laugh in a good way since the 80s and is one of the reasons I subscribe to the Speccie.