Why the be kind era is bad for women - Julie Burchill

[Justme56]

https://www.spiked-online.com/2024/02/06/why-the-be-kind-era-is-bad-for-women/

Being kind is a good character trait among all people. Judging when to be kind, and when to tell someone to fuck off and stop taking the piss is something we should also be teaching our children

And assessing what genuinely is kind.

It is fundamentally unkind to promise somebody something they can never have.

Yes, quite. Lying to people vulnerable people is not kind.

Excellent article.

'a new survey by the Crown Prosecution Service, which appears to suggest that there has been a ‘stark regression’ of attitudes among young men regarding rape over the past decade. It reveals that more than two-thirds of 18- to 24-year-olds believe you cannot withdraw consent in-person after agreeing to have sex with someone online. Nearly half believe that it’s not rape if a victim doesn’t fight back. And more than half don’t believe rape can be committed in an existing sexual relationship. Rape (effectively ‘decriminalised’, according to Dame Vera Baird) and domestic murders (two a week, of women by men) continue to be two of this country’s most thriving areas of endeavour.Is ‘be kind’ really the advice we want to give girls growing up in such a world? Might not ‘be tough’ be better?'

I think 'get fucking angry' might work.

Yes, we've discussed this a lot on here.

Being 'kind' is equated with passivity. Being nice, smiling, quiet, pretty and compliant.

Not talking up or taking up space. Not being a 'Karen'. Not making a fuss, or disagreeing, or saying no.

It's been obvious for some time that this injunction to women is

• actively self-harming
• indicative of the perspective that we're support humans not autonomous individuals with our own needs and ability to make decisions (see overview of attitudes to rape reported there).

I'm struggling with this.

Is ‘be kind’ really the advice we want to give girls growing up in such a world? Might not ‘be tough’ be better?

I'm more, be firm, know your boundaries but I'd want society and other women to support us rather than erode us as a sex class with associated rights.

It has reminded me of this, however:

The Iron Rule of prudence for an Istanbulite Woman: If you are as fragile as a tea glass, either find a way to never encounter burning water and hope to marry an ideal husband or get yourself laid and broken as soon as possible. Alternatively, stop being a tea-glass woman! ― Elif Shafak, The Bastard of Istanbul