Sascha Bailey - son of iconic photographer David - describes how close he came to becoming a woman and fears for other young people like him: 'Society has a gun to its head. You're either for children changing their gender, or you are transphobic'

[UtopiaPlanitia]

This is a very interesting article - I hope Bailey finds happiness within himself as a man and that this isn’t a binge and purge cycle (his description of wanting at one stage to be a blonde Barbie makes me wonder about this possibility).

At any rate, this is one of the more honest showbiz male explanations of wanting to transition that I’ve read - more Oli London than Tommy Dorfman. Useful to know what was going through Bailey’s mind during this period of his life.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12989635/Sascha-Bailey-photographer-David-close-woman-fears-young-people-transphobic.html#

'So I guess you could say that the slowness of the NHS helped to save me,' he says with a smile. Back home, and with space to think, Sascha says he came to a realisation that changing his external identity was not going to resolve the complex feelings he had inside. He has been diagnosed with PTSD as a consequence of experiences within his marriage.

He says he realised two things: 'One, there was no actual way I can know what it feels like to be a woman because I'd never been one, so the idea of me saying 'Oh, I feel like a woman' was absurd.

'And the second thing I came to realise was that I didn't actually need to change my outside because of how I felt on the inside. I just needed to come to terms with it.''

Found a follow up interview with Bailey and thought I’d post it too.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12953433/David-Bailey-photographer-son-sascha-transgender-japan-marriage-collapse.html

Interesting & thanks for posting.

I do wonder what his family truly thought when he turned up from Japan and announced his intention of 'becoming a woman', as the paper describes it. I suspect they were fearful for him and who wouldn't be? And how Interesting that this slightly built man wanted the total opposite - a curvy female body. The life not lived, the road not travelled.

Bailey snr sounds like a very laisser faire parent (I was far too much so myself, I now realise) and I do wonder if lax parental attitudes are much of a factor in the gender bollox. I think so. And it was his sister who was most positive about him transitioning - being 'kind', I wonder, as befits her sex?

His ex-wife is variously described as 10 or 20 years older than him - I do wish they'd at least be consistent.

Glad he came to his senses though.

A bit of early-morning rambling from me!

Poor kid. He has done well speaking out. I hope he continues to recover.

'So I guess you could say that the slowness of the NHS helped to save me,' he says with a smile.

This is common. There are several examples of this. The Dutch detransitioner who was on the Gender Wider Lens podcast would have had his genitals removed if it wasn’t for Covid delaying his surgery date. Add the people relieved their “treatment” was delayed to those who woke up and immediately regretted it, it should be obvious to anyone that quick access to immediate “treatment” with no checks or safeguards is a bad idea. But instead it’s all “Me! Me! Me! I want this now! Now! Now!”

Bravo to him for sharing his story.

this was interesting:

He says he realised two things: 'One, there was no actual way I can know what it feels like to be a woman because I'd never been one, so the idea of me saying 'Oh, I feel like a woman' was absurd.
'And the second thing I came to realise was that I didn't actually need to change my outside because of how I felt on the inside. I just needed to come to terms with it.'

And also, what he says about transitioning being a way to kill himself and not die.
I've heard that before many times from trans people. That it's a way to die whilst being alive.

And also, what he says about transitioning being a way to kill himself and not die.
I've heard that before many times from trans people. That it's a way to die whilst being alive.

That puts a different slant on trans people having a high rate of suicide ideation. Is wanting to die a typical symptom of gender dysphoria, with transition being seen as a way to achieve this without actually dying?

Well done him for speaking out. What a relief he didn’t take the hormones and I’m glad he mentioned the infertility. That’s always glossed over so much.

Oops, OP I've done a duplicate thread.,great minds, etc. I'll see if MN will take it down. I can't abide clutter 😊

Thinking about this story more now. It really pours sunlight onto the situation. He is so articulate and has a strong understanding of his process.
His story lays bare the malpractices at large, diagnoses over the internet and the indecent haste towards puberty blockers and surgery, as well as the too popular belief that transing is a panacea for all ills.

I'm so impressed with Sascha and hope many people get to read his story.

That’s really insightful.

reminds me of an older detrans man who started transition after losing multiple children, one in particularly horrific circumstances.

he was trying to run away from himself, and who could blame him? Reinvention as a woman meant he could pretend the tragically bereaved father had also died (lots of bereaved parents report feelings of wanting to die themselves, thankfully most don’t act on it)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7911163/amp/Richard-Hoskins-detransitioned-four-years-living-woman-did-escape-past.html

Poor dude.

(Amazing how many men who don’t want to be men have daddy issues 👀)

And when he was a teenager he married a woman twenty years older than him who he’d only known for 3 months?!

I’m glad he’s spoken out. It’s clear that he needed some therapy and a calmer, more normal life, with nicer people, not drugs and surgery.

He should be going into schools talking about gender confusion. Far better than Mermaids or their fellow proselytisers.

That's so brave of him. His eyes look so sad in all the pictures, heartbreaking.
I also wish the NHS would get its act together regarding mental health therapy, a lot of pain could be avoided.

That was a heartbreaking story. I really, really felt for that man.

the issue is that many if not most therapists are scared shitless of doing proper, thorough, ethical exploratory therapy with trans curious clients. They've been scared by lobby groups and TRAs into giving blanket affirmative treatment. This is abusive.

I meant mental health in general. He probably wouldn't have even started down the tw path if he had proper help right after his trauma.

that's true, but if the word trans is used at all in therapy, even in the context of rape, abuse, trauma, it often just leads to a tunnel vision trip to transitionville

There are clear signs of AGP and coercive control in his story. We should absolutely not be praising men like this. That he has not yet transitioned will, I'm sure, be no comfort to his ex wife.

I've said for a while that we would start to see a wave of male detransitioners being praised by feminists and here we are.

This isolates trans widows even further. What would our exes have to do for you to consider them stunning and brave? The binge and purge cycle has always been a common feature of cross dressing.

Please stop and think about us before you celebrate this story. Read the article again and look for what to me, are very clear red flag.

I'd also suggest reflecting on how the story is framed to appeal to your female socialisation to be sorry for him.

Tinsel, you may be right but I think you are also being quite harsh.

He appears to have done some independent thinking about that a woman is and why he might have thought he was one. He also acknowledges the very difficult position his parents were in. This should be welcomed.

My kids went through Central London private schools and did not envy those peers who had very rich or famous parents at all. If your parents have lived an extraordinary life, settling for an ordinary one might feel like failure. More difficult if, as the article suggests he attended a specialist school that catered for his dyslexia rather than a mainstream school.

He would have to find his own path, and after a few wrong turns he looks as if he is doing just this. I think that it is useful that he is speaking up and saying some sensible things.

I know this might sound suspicious (I got to thinking after reading the story) but I can’t help thinking that him wanting to be a statuesque blonde at one point is relevant in his choice of new partner. His current partner is a tall, attractive blonde woman and I’ve read in the literature that men with AGP have a tendency to form relationships with women whose appearance they want to emulate. I think that’s what made me worry that Bailey might be going through a purge cycle. It’s so hard to tell which it might be when in the interview he sounds as though he’s come to the realisation that he can’t change sex and he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a woman.

Also, I think his new partner having worked for Rebel News might be of interest, that might make her attitude to his situation very different from his laissez-faire family, friends and therapists - maybe he wants some structure and boundaries in his life. At any rate, I do hope they can be happy together. At least she knows the issues he’s experienced and isn’t going into the relationship with no clue.

Having boundaries will often be considered "harsh".

He doesn't appear to have reflected on his behaviour towards his ex wife, indeed we're invited to think it was partly her fault.

Having seen something similar manifest in my own son, this bit rang so true "It's the ultimate way to solve your problems because you're being told everything about you boils down to this one thing that is wrong, and if you can fix this one thing everything will be perfect" It reminds be a bit of how being overweight is/was positioned as the root of unhappiness. 'lose the weight, be happy'

Regarding AGP, there may be an element of that, but I recognise that men of his age and younger have had massive access to damaging amounts of online porn from childhood, and that frankly it's fucked lots of them up.

"He says he realised two things: 'One, there was no actual way I can know what it feels like to be a woman because I'd never been one, so the idea of me saying 'Oh, I feel like a woman' was absurd".

Quite. Which is why I will never be accepting of defining man/woman as a feeling/identity. It makes no sense to group most of humanity into two categories (allowing for the fact that the ideology says there are more than two categories) based on subjective feelings. Not to mention that this definition is anyway circular.