Desperately sad and worrying, but suddenly the media is not in any doubt about who gives birth...PLEASE NOTE this thread relates to abandonment of a newborn baby and may touch on matters around birth trauma or unattended birth

[BadSkiingMum]

I watched some of the BBC coverage of the desperately sad story of a new-born baby girl found abandoned in a Newham park, who was thankfully found by a passer-by who kept her warm until the paramedics arrived.

It was notable that the BBC coverage, quite rightly, was asking for the mother to come forward and saying that 'she' was likely to be in urgent need of medical care. The terms 'mother' and 'daughter' were used throughout, no doubt to try to use the emotional pull of those words in order to persuade the girl or woman who had given birth to the baby to come forward. No mention whatsoever of any father or his responsibility for the baby, let alone any other 'non-birthing parent'.

I would rather not imagine the circumstances in which that girl or woman, now a mother, must have found herself. I can imagine them but they are very, very frightening and I really hope she comes forward to receive appropriate care and support. I also pray that the baby receives the love and care that she desperately needs and that she can be reunited with her mother.

Child abandonment is a crime, as is concealing a birth, although surely no one amongst us would want to prosecute the mother concerned. The law is the
Offences Against the Person Act 1861 Women have been hung for this crime in the past, I believe. Anyone who has read 'Adam Bede' will remember poor Hester Sorrel - about to be hung, but then transported to Australia instead - which was apparently based on a true story that George Elliot's aunt had heard while visiting a prison. I also recall a case in the last few years in which a woman was prosecuted for concealing a birth.

I am not quite sure how to formulate my thoughts around this, but how is it that women are not allowed to call themselves pregnant women or mothers when they choose to do so? Yet as soon as a woman or girl is in this terrible, horrific situation - also having potentially committed a crime - her female biology, role as a mother and absolute biological responsibility for that tiny, vulnerable baby is brought to the fore and talked-about without question? And the father or 'non birthing parent' is nowhere in the picture? It makes a mockery of attempts to police and neutralise language with terms like birthing parent or birthing people.
When a crisis occurs, it is of course the woman or girl who has given birth, the woman or girl who is the mother and the woman or girl who is responsible for the life of that tiny, vulnerable baby.

Very good point re language. As the baby is highly prized by someone else the mother has to be devalued and can't be correctly described. Just as a mother carrying a baby conceived with a donor egg is not referred to as 'gestational carrier' the use of language is crucial. In these misogynistic times where women in all our roles are being shut down and silenced we have to speak out. This tragic situation really shines a light on just how little we have moved on in centuries. A poor, freezing little girl left outside and a likely very young terrified and traumatised woman who felt that desperate and traumatised. What century are we living in. We can't accept the gender cult a, moment longer. Hope this sad story has a good outcome somehow.