I shall put this here then
THE MERKIN LADY
It was a bleak day in December when the Bill from hell was passed.
We’d all sat and listened to the most egregious lies rehashed.
Knowing that the politicians had been whipped to vote,
was doomed to be the only thing to cling on to whilst we coped.
Then the voting was all over, and the proclamation read.
The women of the country felt they might as well be dead.
Our rights had just been decimated to placate the whims of men,
Nic knew what she had bloody done, but she didn’t want to ken.
Then, like an angel from above, the heroine of this piece
floated from the sky, on clouds of silk and fluffy geese.
She floated through the air, like a sky nymph wrapped in love,
surrounded on her journey by a pitying of turtle doves.
They gently placed her…
What do you mean it didn’t happen quite like this?
This is my re-telling of that moment of historic bliss.
Can’t I have my fantasy of how it all played out?
Shit! Imagine if the history books believed me without doubt!
OK! Ignore that bit. Scrub from ‘Then like an angel from above’.
So back on with the true version of my historic merkin love…
After the Bill was passed, and in a fit of pique,
Elaine Miller, she decided, that she just had to speak.
And as she finished speaking, she lifted up her skirt,
and the merkin of this tale proved to be an extrovert.
It flashed itself to Parliament, and to a recording phone.
Then, it hit the world stage, and now it sits upon its throne.
A piece of women’s history was sealed in that moment.
A highlight in the misery. A most wonderful bestowment
to those who’ll pass the story on to future generations.
“The Merkin Lady raised her skirt, to save you from privations.
She stood up for her rights, and what she knew to be so true,
to make the world a better place for every one of you.”
And so now the Merkin Lady holds a spot within my heart.
She makes a smile appear, for what she did was like fine art.
Screams
“I LOVE YOU ELAINE!”
(The stalker vibes emanating off me are purely coincidental. Honest!)
Boiledbeetle 15th August 2023
Enlightenment:
On 22nd December 2022, immediately after the passing of the Gender Recognition Reform (Scotland) Bill in Holyrood, Elaine Miller, a pelvic physiotherapist, and occasional wearer of a very fetching vulva costume, stood up in the public gallery and shouted:
“If this parliament will not respect the rights of women, then you have no decency. And if you will not be decent towards women who are being raped in jails right now that you’re in charge of, if you will not be decent, then I will be indecent. Get it right up yers. You TERRIBLE TERRIBLE people.”
And as she started to shout “then I will be indecent…” she raised her skirt and, thanks to an MSP with a phone on record, the world got a fantastic view of a fun fur merkin stuck to the front of her tights.