Egg Donation - Preferences

[Shearebel]

NC for the obvious. I am considering donating my eggs, but I do not want them to be used with a surrogate - I want them for a mother who intends to carry and raise her own child. I have done some research and it is not clear to me if I am allowed to raise this preference. Does anyone know if you are able to retain this kind of control over your eggs post-donation?

There must be a way for you to donate to someone directly, however that would probably involve a lot of admin from you to find 'a match' also you would then have a relationship with that person so it may not be what you/they want too. I think it is a selfless thing and couples are forever grateful for the priceless gift of ED.

I think deciding who should be a recipient should include race though, like I don’t think someone should be allowed to carry a child using egg and sperm that doesn’t reflect their own heritage.

I have two teenagers from egg donation. I am so grateful to the donors and what they have done for us. We discuss with the children that they wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the kindness of the donors. They are very happy to be alive and I am so relieved to have had them. From the moment I saw the embryos they were my babies and that hasn’t changed. I’m sure it's not possible for me to love them more.l genetics haven’t affected that. Thankfully there are people like OP.

It was in America though so I could choose the donor and she could decide if she was happy with us.

They match the recipient to the donor by physical characteristics like race, hair colour, eye colour. At least the company I donated with do.

It's so nice to hear a positive story.

I don't have any biological children not do I want any. I do have 3 stepkids. I've raised my DSD from a toddler and love her like she's my own.

My DH was abandoned by his biological mum and raised by his grandparents. His adoptive dad was actually his biological mum's stepdad. He has his surname.

Maybe because of my own personal experiences I just think there's more to family than biology.

I don't think of any potential babies born from my donation as mine at all. Of course understand that some people do have that need to know where they came from from a genetic point of view. I'd be happy to meet any genetic offspring in future if they wanted to.

I chose to donate when friends of mine were going through IVF. They didn't need an egg donor but it made me thing of all the women who did. I saw the joy my friends baby gave them after years of trying and I wanted to be able to give someone else the chance of that joy.

In a strange way, I am pleased that any thoughts of egg donation by me was stopped at the very first hurdle as I have a genetic condition (1:2 chance) so am immediately ruled out.

I am currently listening to the podcast Donor 9623, about the sperm donation industry in America and how unregulated it is. The man in question lied about not only his medical history but every aspect of his life. I have sympathy for the children, the parents I am struggling with a lot more as it seemed all a bit 'baby on order'.

Maybe egg donation isn't quite the same (less options most likely), it leaves me very conflicted.

You should watch "our father" on netflix. Horrific!

I watched that a while ago, blew my mind.

I think this was a case referenced in the above podcast. It piqued my interest as it is the genetic condition I have.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-19711565

Think long and hard about it. You can’t specify not for surrogacy, and the risks of OHSS are real - two women have died from this in the U.K.

Surrogacy Concern are currently running a campaign, highlighting that the Scottish Govt egg donor ads don’t show risks or side effects. This is an ethical scandal waiting to break. Your own genetic children would be raised by others, and you might get very ill.

Just want to be sure you’ve seen this image first: