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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
OP posts:
MavisMcMinty · 25/10/2023 14:42

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 25/10/2023 09:35

I think you'll find that already happens, and people just accept it.

Also from the Guardian .

But that same study showed that when partners leave, it’s normally men. One study from 2009 found the strongest predictor for separation or divorce for patients with brain cancer was whether or not the sick person was a woman. That same study showed that men were seven times more likely to leave their partner than the other way around if one of them got brain cancer.

That is very interesting! I was a cancer nurse specialist for 20 years, and found that many divorced men were actually cared for in their final weeks/months by their ex-wives. One of my dearest friends had a terrible marriage to a terrible man, he hounded and stalked her for YEARS after their divorce, yet when he got terminal cancer she took him in and nursed him until his death.

Another thing I noticed from my job was that widowed men, the husbands of my patients, often got married to someone else within 6-12 months of their bereavement, and I don’t remember any women who did the same.

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 25/10/2023 15:59

Zebedee999 · 25/10/2023 10:17

"In sickness and in health" as the wedding vow says, few get married nowadays so no longer relevant or expected I guess. Thanks for thought provoking article, in the main it seems men are fair weather partners!

Not all of them, but it's a significant, under-discussed issue. This was posted on FB once. I have seen other posts like it, but this is via Ask Aubry on twitter.

Oh what a great Dad this man is
StephanieSuperpowers · 25/10/2023 16:41

Imagine a 26 year old wasting her time on him. If I was her mother, I swear to god, I wouldn't be answerable for what I might say.

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 25/10/2023 18:13

39 years old and too sexually incontinent to be able to contemplate celibacy for 7 months while his girlfriend goes through gruelling chemotherapy. Notice bow he only grapples with whether it's physically risky to her. It's implicit that if it isn't medically risky, her possible lack of libido due to chemotherapy will be immaterial.

She's expected to dispense sex whether or not she gets any pleasure from it.

And he's 39! I expected and got more consideration from 19 year old boys in my time!

Datun · 25/10/2023 18:55

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 25/10/2023 15:59

Not all of them, but it's a significant, under-discussed issue. This was posted on FB once. I have seen other posts like it, but this is via Ask Aubry on twitter.

Christ, what was the response to that disgusting excuse of a human being?

SpiderMaam · 25/10/2023 21:40

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 25/10/2023 09:17

Never click on the G out of protest ( and I was a subscriber for years) but….

are they bagpipes under his arm?

Bagpipes would be the icing on a particularly wanky cake.

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 25/10/2023 22:17

I didn't want to be away from my two sons for too long, so I would come back often to connect with them. The longest stretch I was away in the wild was just under two months*

How was he supporting them during this time? What opportunity did his wife have to find herself in the forest?

Self-indulgent twat.

SpicyMoth · 25/10/2023 23:21

That story is so painfully sad...

MavisMcMinty · 25/10/2023 23:48

I saw the naked rambler with two similarly naked companions once, when I driving home from work. They were walking towards me on a country lane just a mile or two from Exmoor, and I didn’t notice their nakedness until I’d whizzed past them, or I’d’ve tooted my horn approvingly.

That is my Naked Rambler story.

Codlingmoths · 26/10/2023 00:43

SummerSadness · 25/10/2023 09:23

To be fair his kids are teenagers and his job anyway had him away for months at a time, so I don't think that's a problem.

This is funny though, from someone who rarely sees their family and lives away from communities: "Ancient humans focused on family, community, and the natural world, and I think we can learn so much from that."

Hahahaa so I dumped my family to think about this

Rudderneck · 26/10/2023 02:50

I don't understand how you are coming to this conclusion, OP.

The article gives barely any information about his marriage or why it ended. For all we know his wife could have been having an affair while he was away with the military, it's not an uncommon scenario.

As for income he likely has a pension.

He might be a complete tit, but I don't understand why anyone would pick him out for a whole thread without some actual information.

Woman2023 · 26/10/2023 08:28

I think it's because he left her to actually bring up his sons while he "didn't want to be away from his sons for too long".

He chose to leave them for weeks at a time. Rather than actually taking on his share of the parenting.

StephanieSuperpowers · 26/10/2023 09:08

Its's unbelievable how so many people - women as well - think that women are a function of the house and there couldn't possibly be anything amiss with a man deciding to remove himself for months at a time at his convenience leaving it all to her.

MenopauseSucks · 26/10/2023 11:56

@MavisMcMinty @NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision

I read somewhere that a lot of counselling for women suffering from cancer included the fact that their husbands were doing naff-all to help with the household & at times left them altogether.

Whereas women rarely left.

cabbageandgravy · 26/10/2023 13:14

Woman2023 · 26/10/2023 08:28

I think it's because he left her to actually bring up his sons while he "didn't want to be away from his sons for too long".

He chose to leave them for weeks at a time. Rather than actually taking on his share of the parenting.

Yes, this - the fact that his separation from his sons was less important to him than the cave-dwelling stuff which did not seem to be in the service of anything other than himself

OP posts:
Rudderneck · 26/10/2023 13:37

Look, my husband also used to work away from home, for three month stretches, for 6 months of the year. I had three small kids.

That was his job and we both agreed to that lifestyle, he was a scientist and had to be out in a remote station to do his work. It's not that uncommon in the military, with certain jobs like sailors, and some others.

It is absolutely hard for families, although some spouses like it and seem to thrive on it. But I seriously doubt his wife was blindsided about the nature of his military career even if it was a problem for them. He's likely always been away for months at a time.

There are women who have these kinds of careers too, btw, I used to know a women in Special Forces who was often away, often unexpectedly, and often without a clear end date. Her husband held down the fort at home, her child was not a teenager, btw, she was under 10.

I can't really imagine the women of FWR being critical of her for that. It seems like a double standard otherwise.

This guy's kids are teens, and he said that on one occasion he was in the woods for two months. A whole thread to be critical about that when there is almost zero information about their family life? It seems very random.

Isheabastard · 26/10/2023 13:44

My first thought was that his first draft didn’t even mention his sons and it was rejected and his editor said “you have two sons, you need to show that you take being a father seriously”

So he cobbled in a few mentions of them to tick the ‘Im still a Good Father’box.

But that’s probably just me being mean and petty.

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