Has anyone read this interview with Philippa Perry?

[MalagaNights]

Hopefully a link here: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/eca202a4-669b-11ee-a4e7-0fb10af55688?shareToken=ad1b029bbdca60d79a336939567f86fc

She comes across as pretty insufferable to me.

She refusues to discuss the Trans issue as it doesn't effect many people and people just like arguing about it.
Translation: it's not an issue for her.

'Choose Guilt' seems to mean 'Be Selfish' which she thinks will lead to a happy and satisfying life, because it's worked for her. Instead of choosing between 'resentment' and 'guilt' maybe we should have a moral compass and principles which indicate to us what is the correct course of action depending on the circumstances?

She's obvioulsy lived this very elite existence where she's been able to curate exactly the lifestyle she wants and she seems to think it's because of her amazing insight that people should be more selfish?

She also dismisses 'labels' as social contagion and mentions ADHD as an example, which I have some sympathy with, but the journalaist does then point out she uses the label dyslexia for herself, and she doesn't seem to see the parallell, because 'its a shame she needs to use this label'....er, just like people with ADHD would say to explain why it's helpful to them? But she seesm to think it's different for her.

That's the overall impression I got from this: she better than all the silly people who argue about Trans, put others first, and who look for answers in diagnoses.

Not like her, who is cool with the trans thing, does what she wants and only uses a label because it helps her...

She wuond me up 😁

Do you not think her particular angle on humanity looks like it is falling out of favour? This looks like an effort to raise her profile.

She refusues to discuss the Trans issue as it doesn't effect many people and people just like arguing about it.
Translation: it's not an issue for her.

Of course it's not. She's married to Grayson with his alter ego Claire. He doesn't claim he's not a man.

“There’s now this fashion for ‘if I agree with you about 19 things and disagree with you about one, that means you are a totally bad person’. There is a lot of all-or-nothing thinking. We used to be able to be friends with people from different political parties or different schools of psychotherapy or whatever.”

This is quite relevant. I’ve generally quite liked her whenever I’ve seen her or read some of her writing.

What about the inflamed online debate on trans issues, does she follow that?
“I do not follow it, no. It seems to be the flag they want to die for, even though it affects very, very few people. It’s social contagion again.”
Who does she mean by “they”? Perry replies: “People who like arguing.” On both sides? “Yes.”

So she rails against social contagion, but when it comes to trans, it’s the arguing that’s the social contagion not the massive increase in teenage girls that’s come out of nowhere? Not a social contagion that results in girls getting mastectomies? She can’t see that? And as a therapist she has no interest in engaging into thinking why so many teenage girls are coming out as trans given the harm this brings?

How incredibly disappointing.

I really like her. She’s got such an interesting life and I think her perspective is really interesting too. There aren’t many psychologists who have this sort of profile and I think she’s brave for putting herself out there. Her social media posts always seem very genuine.

It’s pretty fucking obvious what her experience and thinking is around the trans stuff. I don’t blame anyone for not setting their career on fire over it. I wouldn’t do it myself.

In short I think that dismissing her because of the trans thing is just another extreme black and white response. Some of her advice is good and some I disagree with. I still really admire her as a woman thought leader.

There's an interview between Philippa Perry and Suzanne Moore here which makes her position much clearer: https://suzannemoore.substack.com/p/a-conversation-with-philippa-perry?r=cldek&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

I read her agony column in the Observer and sometimes the advice she has given to a reader has seriously concerned me. It can be tangential, and/or just plain odd.
I see also also quite a few people (readers) have taken direct issue with what she has advised the people who have written in for help.
(I think there was an online comment section on her column at one stage; I'm not sure if that is still the case.)

Greyson Perry is pretty open that there is a sexual component to his dressing as Claire and that passes me off - other people need to be uncomfortable for him to get his sexual thrills.

I think philippa perry has a great deal of privilege and like many privileged people she struggles to consider people who are less fortunate

You have to be quite wilfully "misunderstanding" to think that redefining what a woman and what a man are affects very few people.

Like, really deliberately. Bordering on the dishonest.

I think she's great. Her role is psychotherapist and author, and I think she needs to speak a certain way in order to keep her wisdom available to people with differing beliefs. There are many who could learn from her "Our bodies aren't another ‘thing’, like a handbag. We are our bodies, they are us, and when we don't look after our bodies – when we attack our bodies – we are attacking ourselves. The body is incredibly important in psychotherapy; there isn't a mind/body split. This is basic stuff, but it really needs to be said."

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read is written in accessible language (rare in psychotherapy!); I think she comes across as completely sensible. I don't doubt she'd take safeguarding seriously for an individual client. But her general stance is to be non-judgemental, as a therapist ought to be.

Remember how captured the therapy world is, with some practitioner's seemingly unwilling to explore with any depth as soon as a client says "trans", and all too keen to jump on the lucrative gender bandwagon. I massively admire people like James Esses and Sacha Ayad, but think that Perry's approach is important too.

I've found both Perrys disappointing.

Grayson, who is an interesting artist and a fabulous art communicator also uses others for his fetish.

And Phillippa's advice has sometimes, as noted above, been far from as wise as I'd hoped it might be.

Book out, has she?

Greyson Perry is pretty open that there is a sexual component to his dressing as Claire and that passes me off - other people need to be uncomfortable for him to get his sexual thrills.

Indeed. He said that the dresses he wears when dressed as Claire, a little girl, have to have a wide skirt in order to hide his erection. And that as he became more well known and people were less shocked about his appearance, the thrill dissipated.

Little wonder she's not going talk about trans issues. Her husband getting his rocks off by using the pubic as unwilling participants in his cross dressing fetish, probably isn't something she wants being linked to transgenderism.

I suspect Philippa Perry does follow the trans issue more than she cares to admit, particularly as Suzanne Moore is a close friend of hers. In an interview with Suzanne, she said this:

"When we feel like there's something wrong with us or we're not happy, sometimes we attack our own bodies. We might have body dysmorphia, when we think something like, I'd be happy if only I could get rid of my big nose or if I lost loads of weight. Because it feels like an easy thing that we can control.
But we can make ourselves anorexic. We can even have surgery to apparently change our genders. But this never looks at the underlying issue. It never looks at the problem that the body modification is trying to solve. What we need to do is to look at the problem rather than attack the body.

But we can make ourselves anorexic. We can even have surgery to apparently change our genders. But this never looks at the underlying issue. It never looks at the problem that the body modification is trying to solve. What we need to do is to look at the problem rather than attack the body. "

Comes very close to admitting that hormones / surgery are not the answer to body dysmorphia.

I don't blame her for not wanting to wreck her career over this. She has a book out, she wants to sell copies, she doesn't want the TRAs tearing her apart. Disappointing but understandable.

This picture of Grayson Perry attending a charity event for Clic Sargeant took me aback. In what universe is that a suitable outfit?

Link, for above image.

https://www.gettyimages.in/detail/news-photo/artist-grayson-perry-arrives-at-the-childrens-cancer-news-photo/73686429

Just on Grayson; Some of his most recent pots are interesting in terms of some of the phrases he's included. I can't share be pics as a relative sent them to me. Quite terfy.

Obviously art is v subjective and one if his approaches is to just add phrases from the radio he hears to his pots (often radio 4) so who knows.

Went to his stage show pre pandemic and he was extremely clear that sex is male and female.

Thanks, will read with interest.

We can both talk the hind legs off a donkey, so here is an edited version of our conversation

Yeah same, the struggle is real

Oh well I'm none the wiser there 😑

Jeeze, no.

Didn't read the full thread (slaps own wrists.)

In short I think that dismissing her because of the trans thing is just another extreme black and white response. Some of her advice is good and some I disagree with. I still really admire her as a woman thought leader

I agree with this. And same applies to Grayson. Ffs though read the room, mate, at that cancer event 🤯

I’m guessing he wouldn’t do this now, but to be fair that was a charity celebrity ball at the Dorchester fifteen years ago, rather than a school Christmas fete.

I don't think wearing a dildo/codpiece to a children's cancer event really has ever been acceptable, but maybe that's just me. Honestly, I'd prefer not to think this was deliberate, so please do talk me out of it. I like Perry's work. I've enjoyed many of his talks.

I'm not surprised she sometimes gives bad advice if that's her partner of choice. That outfit is only suitable for a fetish night.

As the parent of two children diagnosed with ADHD by NHS specialists, all I’m getting from your post is pot, kettle, black. It seems we all have our own special prejudices?

I agree, she doesn't usually just trot out the party lines and is usually thought-provoking - I guess that's why the dismissive 'well it doesn't affect many' is a bit disappointing. Can fully accept might be out of context etc. Maybe she would prefer not to discuss it through the Times' lens - with any paper, stuff risks getting reduced to soundbites and I'd be wary too (on any subject!)

Also She never looks at feedback on social media: “Sometimes I have a cheeky peek and think ‘nest of vipers, no thanks’. I don’t let it worry me.”

Haha!

I do agree that she's a bit nonsensical about labels: she seems to conflate "definitions" or "descriptors" with some sort of inherent "judgment" -

"But, I venture, dyslexia is a label you use and that helps you.

“Yes, but wouldn’t it be great if I could just be understood as someone who gets the letters muddled up in their words and be accepted as that rather than having to have a label?”"

That's literally what dyslexia means? It's like saying "don't call me a Sainsburys customer, I'm just someone who regularly shops at Sainsburys!"