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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Forced Teaming with Gilmore Girls

10 replies

Delphinium20 · 23/09/2023 19:53

Sigh.

Lorelei Gilmore, a TV character, lost her youth precisely BECAUSE she was female and able to get pregnant at 16, birth her baby and support herself without any help from the teen dad. That very much IS girlhood for many teens across the world and often the norm in history. It's also girlhood to be forced to marry an old man at 9 because your parents think they can't feed you and girls are expendable. It's also girlhood to undergo FGM. It's also girlhood to have grown men catcall you at age 11.

I honestly just can't deal sometimes with these pity parties from privileged Western young men who are lucky not to be born in a country where you're fighting Putin or struggling to find any job. JFC.

https://www.insider.com/gilmore-girls-helped-transgender-woman-come-out-essay-2023-9

OP posts:
nobodysdaughter · 23/09/2023 20:35

"Gender melancholia" honestly! Have they heard themselves!

Delphinium20 · 23/09/2023 21:08

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the manufactured ennui!

OP posts:
Fenlandia · 23/09/2023 22:50

WTF does this gobbledegook mean:

"I had to learn to accept that I never had the girlhood I needed. But just like for Lorelai, becoming a woman at any age is not the end of being a girl. It's the heart of it."

Mate, most of us don't get the girlhood we 'need'.

RealityFan · 23/09/2023 22:55

"My puberty was starting to make me look like a boy".
Yep, the whole world is a construct that you can choose to belong to or not.
No, the world is the world, inner and outer. Its your fate. Face up to it. Otherwise, you're fake.

NitroNine · 24/09/2023 02:12

Those are actual seconds of my life I will never get back again 🤦‍♀️

The whole thing reads like a pitch for a “based on a true story” bit of media created using a retrospectoscope: I wonder if their mother remembers things quite the same way 🤔

Fenlandia · 24/09/2023 08:35

NitroNine · 24/09/2023 02:12

Those are actual seconds of my life I will never get back again 🤦‍♀️

The whole thing reads like a pitch for a “based on a true story” bit of media created using a retrospectoscope: I wonder if their mother remembers things quite the same way 🤔

Yes I wondered this too. I've read plenty of first person stories on the Parents with Inconvenient Truths about trans website that don't tally with this experience.

LoobiJee · 24/09/2023 09:47

Are there two contradictory articles about the same person on the same day on that website? Or is the link in that article to a different person? I can’t tell from the photos. They look similar.

In the article it says I came out to my mom at 28 with a hyperlink, but the link is to an article describing coming out to my mom at 25.

It’s probably two different people. One article mentions a mother who always wanted a girl. And the other mentions a father who enforced masculine stereotypes. I was confused by the hyperlink.

Brainworm · 24/09/2023 10:31

I actually find articles like this interesting revealing about the lack of appropriate therapy and support for people like the author.

Many therapeutic approaches involve helping people to explore the narratives they hold about themselves, their relationships and life. They are encouraged to look back at events and aspects that have been written out of their narrative and/or challenge it in order to identify how the narrative is helping or hindering them in life.

This person's story seems to suggest that, pre puberty, they and others considered them to be a girl. Then, at puberty, everyone else started seeing them and responding to them differently. This alone needs unpacking. It doesn't read as though they were socially transitioned pre puberty.

One hypothesis is that the author didn't experience any distress about their sex, pre puberty, because the gendered expectations they were exposed to were minimal or not problematic but the ramping up at puberty triggered the dysphoria. This indicates that societal expectations were a key source of their distress.

I blame those working in this field for failing to help this person explore what was going on for them that led them to feel alienated from their healthy body. Why were they not challenged about their idea that they had a chromosomal and hormonal birth defect. If they did have 'defects' this should have been diagnosed and treated in line with the proper diagnostic labels. If they didn't have such defects, they should have been told that whilst this is how they are experiencing their body, this an issue about thoughts and feelings not material reality.

Journalists and reporters are culpable too. They ought to clarify and explore the narratives, not just present trans narratives with holes in as if those holes don't exist.

Society is ahead of the institutions here. The trans narrative was presented as a shiny silver bowl. The more the bowl was presented, holes started to appear. The public were told that it was wrong to focus of the holes as the bowl was silver and shiny and to be cherished and celebrated. But, because the holes were ignored/glossed over, more and more appeared, until it became a sieve. For many/most of the public, they see now just see a sieve, because it can't hold anything. They aren't willing to discuss silver bowls. The institutions are mournfully shaking their heads and wondering how to make everyone see the sieves as silver bowls, but it's too late.

They should, of course, never have tried to market silver bowls that weren't silver bowls.

Nancy Kelly could have been celebrating a reduction in transphobia had they not made such a pigs ear if things.

They now need to regroup and find a way to genuinely help people like the author of this article. They need to help people with gender related distress find ways of feeling happy in a society that acknowledges are accepts sex based differences.

Delphinium20 · 24/09/2023 16:48

Brain has a very good analogy of the silver bowls/sieve. I agree that someone should have challenged this kid's narratives.

OP posts:
RealityFan · 24/09/2023 16:56

Delphinium20 · 24/09/2023 16:48

Brain has a very good analogy of the silver bowls/sieve. I agree that someone should have challenged this kid's narratives.

But, the mum always wanted a girl. And now she has. Why bother with the hard stuff of reality when you have the soft fluff of fantasy?

Talk about it takes two to tango.

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