Rape Survivors 'Police Response Damaged their Mental Health'

[IcakethereforeIam]

I know there have been a lot of threads about how woeful and partisan the Police have been but I think this deserves it's own.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/sep/21/three-quarters-of-survivors-say-police-response-damaged-their-mental-health

Additionally, I didn't know we had a Minister for Safeguarding! What the fuck has she been spending her time doing?

The police response of two male detectives certainly traumatised me further. There was one female police officer holding my hand during the initial hours and I felt protected by, but after that it was left in the hands of the male detectives. I didn’t feel believed and distinctly remember one of them saying ‘rape is a very serious thing to accuse someone of’ rather than rape is a very serious thing to be a victim of.

I'm so sorry @GodspeedJune

I can only imagine how being disbelieved compounds the original trauma.

@GodspeedJune

This 'thanks' button is a bit of a blunt tool for situations like this. It feels inappropriate to be thanking people for recounting trauma.

From what I've heard @GodspeedJune , awful experiences like yours are not uncommon, they whole initial handling is like 'Do you understand how serious it would be if you're lying?'

Of course women do, which is why they don't lie about it!

I'm sorry you had to go through that and it's ridiculous that police are not trained to the hilt to stop, think and shut up before saying things to female rape victims that they'd never say to any other crime victim.

I have had contact with the Police twice re rape.
One was reporting an historic situation. The family member involved had live access to other young family children. I was asked if I 'wanted revenge'.
The other was a 'live' situation (family member responsible for historic situation was trying to force me to go to live with them where I would have been abused again) Police told me they thought I was 'complicit' in my abuse (at a time when I was in a bad way receiving meds & treatment for my MH due to historic abuse).

Both 20yrs ago, Kent Police but I don't belive things have changed (eg MET)
Both caused considerable further damage & produced no action so pointless.
I wouldn't advise either of my kids to approach the Police re a sexual assault.

As a child I was sexually assaulted. I didn't report it, my mum did, and years after the fact but when I was still a child. From start to finish there was no "support" from the officer dealing with it. She was rude and nasty. I was taken by her and a social worker to a "victim suite" which was a lockable room. I was locked in, they wouldn't let me leave even though I repeatedly said I didn't want to do this and wanted to leave. This woman pressured me into making a video statement when I didn't want to. It took hours. She wouldn't let me use my own words and kept trying to make me use specific words and shouted at me several times for using the "wrong words". I cried on and off through the whole thing, not because of the assault, but because of how the police were speaking to me and how trapped I felt. If there had been any windows in that room I would have climbed out of one and taken my chances with falling.

I was subjected to a medical examination where a male doctor "examined" my vagina to see if my hymen was intact. I was not asked to consent to this, I was just shunted from one thing to the next and at every step the police took, took, took everything they could away from me. I still have nightmares about that medical examination.

I felt more raped by what they did to be honest as it went on for months. I was actually relieved when CPS dropped the case the day before the trial because even with medical evidence and witnesses they said there wasn't a realistic chance of prosecution.

It always makes me laugh bitterly whenever a SA is mentioned on MN and all these chirpy women come out with "well I hope she's getting the support she needs" "I hope she's being supported" "she'll get counselling" or my favourite "it's your duty and responsibility to report a rape to protect other women".

I was robbed of my memories and my dignity and then we never heard from them again. If that's what the police call support they can stuff it up their arses. I would never ever report a rape ever again. We can't say it's male police officers, it's all of them. It's abhorrent the way they treat rape and SA victims, especially children.

That is appalling @WomenShouldStillWinWomensSports, I'm so sorry.

Thank you all

God I could write a book on the subject.. The Met Police couldn't have given less of a fuck when I walked into there police station. Apart from one female officer who was very kind it was horrific.
When I give my statement I was using words like Penis/vagina/breasts.. The officer literally threw the pen down and said there is no way a girl like you uses the word penis.. talk how you normally talk in bed or it's not going into the statement.. He went on and on at me until I used the word cock. I was 18.

I was forced into prostitution by a man I had thought was my boyfriend, who also raped me when he saw fit. When I escaped and went to the police they told me it wasn't illegal to be a sex worker here so they wouldn't be doing anything about that.
When I described him raping me, one of them said "Ooh nice, he was a big boy then!" having asked me to go into details about his penis.
In court his lawyer told me it's impossible to rape a prostitute.

A few years later, and having been out of that life for a while, a man I started a relationship with somehow found a video of me on pornhub that had been made when I was still being forced, and sent it to my family.
The police woman who came when I reported it said "I mean really I should be arresting you for soliciting, imagine putting yourself on porn sites."

I wouldn't waste my breath reporting anything now.

Just adding the BBC article:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66876213

Best wishes to all women affected by this.

And adding this, on the court process:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-66864264

Last year a family member was admitted to Acute MH Hospital for 6 weeks after a meeting with the police following the collapse of her abuser's trial due to police fuck up.

I am so sorry for what you have all been through.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has gone through such horrific experiences.

About five years ago I reported a historic rape. Not that it matters but I was a late 30s year old, married, employed, well spoken, well presented woman.

The detective who took my initial statement said to me at the end "when I go and look him up and then I look you up I'm not going to go and find a load of stuff about you, am I?"

I don't know what kind of 'stuff' she thought she was going to find out by searching my background, nor why she felt that was necessary. I guess she was asking if I had a criminal past, as if criminals can't be rape victims. Bitch.

Oh wow, that's really heartbreaking to hear. 😔 It's so important for survivors to feel supported and understood. I've found Youper really helpful for managing stress and anxiety, might be worth a try.

It's disgusting how rape victims are treated, especially by female officers, but I've heard that they're more likely to be terribly misogynistic in order not to be ostracized. Traitors.