Ex can’t define what a woman is

[Whatonearth2021]

Just that. Ex and another male friend were over this evening. We were discussing Starmer and likelihood of next election. I mentioned that he can’t define what a woman is. Turns out that neither can my ex or my male friend. Apparently I’m a raving right wing nutter for suggesting it should be straightforward. Not quite sure what to make of it…

Make of it that you've dodged a bullet.

Thankfully he's your ex and its not your problem.

Do they know what a man is? What makes a man different from women?
You are well shot of your Ex now rid yourself of your male friend.

So presumably he includes transwomen in his dating pool?

Get them to ask their mothers to tell them what a woman is.

Apparently I’m a raving right wing nutter for suggesting it should be straightforward.

Being "right wing", if you are, has little to do with defending women's rights, which are every woman's business. However, "raving" and "nutter" are pretty unmistakably and intentionally rude, disrespectful, and belittling.

If you're not right wing, then why are these two trying to horn in and tell you about yourself, label you according to their own blinkered viewpoint, speak over and ignore your experiences which they have not experienced and cannot understand? At the very least, they're belittling you and attempting to shame and embarrass/guilt trip you. Why? Perhaps they are "right wing" for wanting Labour to hobble itself, continue to be a laughing stock, and continue to risk losing elections and staying out of power?

I suggest adopting a "no misogynists" policy - it may not be possible across the board but at least try it in the areas of life you can control, like your social life. Stop socialising with these two if they can't treat you as a human being as deserving of respect and with as much right to speak about your experiences and rights as they allow themselves and each other.

Funny how there's never any confusion or difficulty defining what a man is though..

Equal opportunity cat calling will be the proof of his definition of woman then.

I thought a man has xy chromosomes and forms male characteristics, and a female has xx chromosomes and forms female characteristics.

Once a full sex change procedure has been completed, I'm fine with trans people being described as the other sex - technically they aren't but it's the closest they can get to it so not much else they can do

I'm not sure what other description is really needed tbh?

Not to derail, but there's no such thing as a "full sex change procedure" because as you say, humans can't cange sex.

Assuming you mean genital surgery which creates something other than what the person originally had. In the case of men, an inverted penis. How is that close to what a woman is, and why should we pretend that it makes a man anything like a woman? How does that benefit women and girls?

They couldn’t understand why I object to CIS, they mocked the idea that any man was actually taking advantage of access to female spaces (I didn’t actually get to that point - they anticipated it), with no data - just a load of uninformed crap.
why does it bother me? Because he’s the father of my three teenage sons and it horrifies me that he might influence them with these views that I’ve only just found he holds. Nothing I can do except continue to teach my boys to be respectful of women.

mocked the idea that any man was actually taking advantage of access to female spaces

I've been privileged to do a decent amount of housing support work in women's DV shelters in more than one country. Only allowed because I'm a woman. And I get to have the hidden address, sworn to secrecy, not allowed to submit expenses that show location, given one phone number to contact, not allowed to share location with anyone, seen the walls, security measures, the care that's taken. I've also heard the stories about what can happen when the address is leaked.

Your ex doesn't understand that predatory, violent men will do anything to get their hands on vulnerable women. If they will work at it, train to get jobs that allow it, follow people for years, stalk and lie and chase and do all that, why on earth wouldn't they just say, "I'm a woman"? It's completely irrational to suggest otherwise. In a small town with one shelter, it would be as easy as anything to gain access to an ex.

Your ex is a bit thick, right? It can't be the only sign of it.

Once a full sex change procedure has been completed, I'm fine with trans people being described as the other sex - technically they aren't but it's the closest they can get to it so not much else they can do

The closest they can get will be the sex they actually are as you can't change sex.

If you remove part of your body, or get a part of your body modified and take hormones not designed for your sex that does not make you even an approximation of the opposite sex. It makes you a surgically modified, medicated version of your original sex.

This. It's all that needs to be said to a man who pretends not to know what a woman is.

I bet when you were together he enjoyed having sex. Y'know, putting that penis that he's got into that vagina that you've got.

That was one of the subtle bits I liked about Barbie. By drawing comparisons between Kens and women you're highlighting the belief that women are considered mere accessories to the main event (Barbie/men). So why do accessories need a definition- they're just non men.

It's so incredibly disappointing, isn't it? The best explanation I've had from a man I know is that he feels going out dressed as a woman would be excruciatingly embarrassing so just feels sorry for anyone who does it.

It's just an inability to see the world from anything but a man's point of view. Obviously he does know what a woman is, we all do.

Why aren't all these men who don't know what a woman is out having sex with transwomen who still have a penis?

Of course...because they know they're not women.

Well, yeah I've no objections to what you say really

“So presumably he includes transwomen in his dating pool?”

His get out comment would be that he isn’t attracted to all ‘women’ Men have an answer to everything.

you are confusing sex and gender there. A person can have all the surgeries they want in order to present as the opposite gender. But their sex is the same whatever happens and no matter how much they really fervently honestly believe they will, say, grow a cervix.