How are your gender critical children managing in school?

[HugoDarracott]

My daughter is very much of the belief that we can't change sex. In her personal development lessons though you can imagine it's not a popular view. She's struggled with this at primary in so far as the teacher talking about there being no difference between men and women. It was a misguided attempt at discussing equality which frustrated her no end because she knows there are.

She's now at secondary school and trans issues have already been mentioned. I've actually told her to keep quiet simply because I can imagine she'll be crucified for going against the grain. Maybe when she's older and more established she might be able to.

I've been in touch with school asking about the delivery of trans issues but yet to hear back. I was curious as to how others are dealing with this issue?

When it comes to teaching PSHE/RSE schools shouldn't be teaching gender identity or that there are no biological differences between the sexes. The DfE guidance is quite clear that lessons must be evidence based and that gender shouldn't be suggested based on stereotypes.

If the school is teaching gender identity do contact them and ask them how this fits in with the DfE guidance.

My eldest's secondary school teach about sexual dimorphism, but that some people aren't comfortable with the social & cultural stereotypes associated with their sex. That those people might take irreversible medical or surgical steps to help them feel better about it, but that ultimately they remain their birth sex.

However there is no policy on how the school deals with gender questioning children. So it's up to individual teachers political persuasions. Which isn't ideal. The DfE really need to pull their finger out on that one.

It’s not an Issue that’s really discussed at DS’s school. Any kid who is perceived of as ‘gay’ gets horribly bullied, I would imagine an actual trans kid wouldn’t last a day before having the shit kicked out of them. The actual gay (and presumably any trans) kids stay firmly in the closet until they get to sixth form college.

Wow @MelodiousThunk that's proper harsh for any gay kids. My kids school is very inclusive and there is an LGBT club. Unfortunately my eldest was captured and believes himself to be non-binary and pansexual! Makes the topic awkward.

@OctogenarianDecathlete I'm trying to find out what is being taught. I'll look at the guidance too to check they're not going wrong.

I've told DS (13) to be careful. He's welcome to challenge or discuss anything if he wants to but just be aware that he may not get a logical or fair response.
Tbh, I went to a school in a different country where it was deeply religious. I think this is similar. Some kids identify strongly with it, but most don't care and just roll their eyes when there's yet another assembly about it.
I have asked him how the kids are identifying at school and he said no one cares about that stuff. There are a few who are openly gay which is great but he doesn't know any trans peers. They're all far more obsessed with YouTube gamers and who fancies who.
The one thing they all hate though - boys and girls- is the fully mixed sex toilets. Both sides are avoiding using them. We've tried to talk to the school about that but they're being pig headed.

I've found them to be all quite accepting, although it's possible its that it's DS's friend group. One of the boys said he thought he was gay at around 12 and they were all "Oh okay". It's not been a thing. That would have been unheard of when I was at school. I've only got my son's friends and feedback though. I don't how it might be elsewhere.

Two dcs at the end of secondary/Uni

They don’t believe men can become women etc…
But they don’t advertise it either. Too many people around them that have come out and it’s treated the same than if they had come out gay/lesbian.
They both think you need a minimum of respect towards trans teen/young adult and I have to say I agree with them.

@TheGreatATuin yep same here.
Anyone coming out, Wether it’s gay, or trans is met with ‘Ah. Ok then’ shrug of shoulders and everyone moves on.

My daughter knows people can't change sex, she clocked a male teacher presenting in woman face and instantly felt uncomfortable. Personally I think schools have a duty of care to their pupils & female staff, to maintain strict single sex spaces for females. I hope the male teacher in question is not using female bathrooms...

At DS’s school there’s a thriving LGBTQ community in his school, he says he’s in the minority for not being in it, however his friends are pretty likeminded. I was giving him and his friends a lift the other day and I heard his friend say “if I had a pound for every gender, I’d have two pounds and a load of Monopoly money”
DD is only at primary school so it’s not really come up however, she’s much more outspoken and I’ve told her she needs to be careful of what she says. I’ve already heard her her best friend criticising her views so I think she’s going to have a harder path to tread.

Do they have single sex toilets as well? If not, the school is not conforming to the rules for children over the age of eight, who must have single sex toilets.

@HugoDarracott I think it’s pretty standard for schools in rural areas. The badger-baiting and Ranger-driving brigade aren’t known for being particularly enlightened and tend to pass it down to their kids. Luckily they all leave school as soon as they’re 15/16 at the latest. The 6th form college where they all end up has a very strong LGBT thing going but I don’t think there’s anything coercive and obviously no PSHE lessons at that stage.

I think it depends a lot on the school, OP.

Mine doesn't really engage on this topic at school. She has friends who are LGBT and she's fine with pronouns etc.
I'm happy that she's happy and secure in herself. She needs to live in this world and doesn't want to fall out with her friends.

DC think it’s ridiculous to believe anyone can change sex. Luckily their school PHSE is run by the science dept, so nothing inaccurate is being taught (phew). One did come home saying one of their friends was now she/they. I asked what that meant - eyeroll “they don’t even know”.

DS has a trans kid in his year 8 form. He has asked a few questions (to them and me) and we have agreed that a live and let live approach is best at school where DS would get cancelled for any GC views. Mostly he says why do we have to discuss it at school as it's not relevant.