BBC Woman's hour and how easy it is for men to cause financial trouble

[FinancialAbuseSurvivor]

Hello, not sure whether I chose the right section but here we go. Have you listened to the last episode of the Woman's hour podcast? The topic was financial abuse. I was shocked to hear the testimony of an ITV journalist who received financial abuse from her ex-husband and is still paying for the debts he's left her with.

Now, this story triggers me because I too have survived financial abuse, that in my case was more covert. My ex-partner did not display any abusive behaviour but used my name to open several "buy now pay later" accounts. When we split up I learnt that there were defaults in my name for a total of nearly £2,000. I know that's a very small figure compared to what other women have to pay; still, I had to prove my innocence, collect evidence and write emails/make phone calls/fight for over a year, because even with a police report lenders would insist I was still "liable." Liable for what? I'd say. Because the man I used to share the bed with woke up one morning and decided to put my name and DOB on a form?

The ITV journalist I mentioned above, although earning a good salary has currently little disposable income because she has to pay for the debt her husband created in her name. Despite having filed a police report, guess what? She's still liable.

That's so utterly unjust. How come it's so easy for a man to write down their partner's name on a mortgage, credit card or any other financial application? Why is that no one thinks to check with the lady herself, or perform more thorough identity checks? All the more shocking, is the fact that the same financial institutes refuse to help those women they have contributed to frame.

What do you think about this? I wonder how feasible the opposite situation will be, how far a woman can get filling up applications in her partner's name. The stereotype of Gold digger is a feminine one, but it seems times are changing, whilst financial abuse seems harder to prove and prosecute than sexual abuse. Please let me know what you think. I feel that the matter should be discussed more.

I am so shocked that what is basically fraud can be ignored by the financial companies and the victim of the fraud be forced to pay up: how can that be so? Bloody hell! Hope someone with legal knowledge will come along soon. Or the story gets taken up by a newspaper/media outlet like the Times or Telegraph.
Shocking.

That's awful, I'd encourage people to sign up for experian who send me an email each month showing all my debt, nothing unexpected there, but good to catch it early.

I have signed up with Experian - but only after the mishap had happened. In my naivety, I could never imagine that someone could use my name and reputation so easily for their own benefit. I know that in my home country financial institutions require signatures, IDs and generally perform identity checks (of course, financial abuse happens there too.) But how do such fraudulent applications happen here in the UK? Can any Jim turn up at any bank saying: "Hello, I'm Jim and I want to open a bank account in Jill's name, though she couldn't come here today, is that all right?"🙄

I can’t understand how a lending can have any claim on you if you didn’t consent to the loan. If they didn’t do any diligence around who they are lending money to, how is that on you?!

It was explained to me that marriage joins you in holy matrimony, and it is for better and for worse.

So all debts and all assets are joint except when they are not.

But yup, ya get screwed.

You don't have to be married for this to be a risk. Ex tried to get me to take out loans and buy him expensive items; it turned out he wanted £2,000 for a specific reason.
A short time after that, someone who had access to my home and knew me took out a payday loan using a fake name and my address, and they came after me for the money. Had they done any due diligence they would have seen that name had never been on the electoral register at my address. They couldn't possibly have seen any ID.
I got lucky. The only reason I wasn't held liable for the debt was because they used a fake name. I could prove I was in hospital at the time, I could prove I had never cashed a cheque - but I couldn't prove I had never received the money. If they had used my name I'd probably still be paying that off at 40% interest.

I assume it was my ex because he came into a lump sum, and because I still get sarky comments from people saying they ''wish someone would give THEM £2,000.''

This is the crux of it, it's frighteningly easy to take out credit in a partners name, especially online. It actually happened to my DSS so it does happen the other way round but obviously (as with all forms of abuse) women are more commonly the victims. In his case his GF controlled the money and he foolishly allowed her full control of his bank account and that's how/why she managed to pull it off, because she was able to get it paid into a bank account in his name.

I say foolishly because he acknowledges himself that his own unwillingness to take responsibility for 'grown up' stuff like money (and laziness if I'm completely honest) were the reason he gave her control, rather than being bullied/threatened/coerced into it as would more commonly be the case for women.

It's definitely something lenders need to tighten up on though, and there should be laws/procedures to protect women/vulnerable people who are abused in this way.

I don't think the female gold digger is an accurate representation at all. I think it comes from the days, not so long ago, when women pretty much always earned substantially less than men and this then put them (us) in a vulnerable financial position. Lots of women used to marry for financial security too.

When the woman has more money, it seems she's the one who'll be targeted. It's a nasty aspect of human nature, for some at least.

Thank you, I'll look more into that!

Thanks, that makes perfect sense (and of course, it doesn't at the same time 😤)

Oh wow. Sorry that you went through this. The fact that the name was fake and of course it couldn't exist in the electoral register, is proof of how sloppy these things are. I can't believe that they can hold you responsible even if you are NOT that person! But I guess that lenders would go to any lengths when trying to recover a debt? At least that's what happened to me! Thank you!

Absolutely agree with you, and that's exactly what I was trying to convey. My point though is not only that the woman will be targeted, but also that she will be disfavored eventually by other subjects, like the lenders who don't do much to acknowledge the issue (despite the fact that financial abuse has become a popular topic nowadays)

Spot on, rules and through ID checks should be introduced