I have no idea if this is the right section to post my experience. If so, please feel free to point me elsewhere or to move it. My apologies if it is inappropriate.
I have been thinking about my high school experiences recently and wondered what you might make of this. I am interested in sharing because during my adult life I haven't really come across many women who claim to have experienced this particular issue.
I will mention what is relevant:
I went to a fairly bog standard middle class high school in a 'nice' area (cheshire). I was a fairly ordinary student, did relatively well and had no remarkable or distinctive features or issues that would have marked me out.
We were all from very similar economic/cultural backgrounds. I was reasonably attractive, average-slim bodytype, blonde hair, unremarkable features. This is to point out that there was nothing on the surface which made me stand out from the crowd, so to speak. I was articulate, intelligent and had a happy home life.
From the age of 11 to 13 I was verbally (and occasionally physically) visciously bullied by boys in my year group. It seemed to begin out of the blue, my reaction was silent shock. It began with a few boys in my own form who would point and shout insults at my back in class. The teachers never reacted to this, only asked 'everyone to be quiet'.
It then spread from those few to other boys, from other classes, who had no connection to the first set of boys. It was as if they had witnessed it so simply joined in. It was common for one or a group of them the pass me in the corridor and laugh at me, pushing me around or into the wall, calling me 'ugly, fat, disgusting, a dog, repulsive, etc'.
During a media studies class one afternoon two boys who were told to sit in a group with me objected on the grounds that I was 'a disgusting dog'. This was very common and happened almost daily. For some reason I was so embarrassed and stunned by this that I didn't tell anyone outside of school.
What disturbed me the most was the reaction of my female friends; there was a large group of us (6), a nice dynamic, very well behaved and studious girls - but during the bullying my friends would simply step aside and act as if it wasn't happening. Nor did they soothe me or say anything afterwards.
Similarly, the teaching staff never acknowledged they were witnessing it, and some of it was quite vile. An entire class would be interrupted by it as I sat red faced in the middle, silently mortified, and yet the teachers said nothing.
On occasion this progressed to physical abuse, where a boy or group would get up during class and come over to drag me from my chair with my hair. Or swipe my books off the table. This was always accompanied by verbal abuse about my physical appearance. Not one classmate or teacher ever intervened.
Eventually I refused to go to school so my parents, once they became aware of this, intervened. It was all magically fixed after the school hols. No one uttered a peep after that, and I never knew whether it had naturally petered off or if the school had dealt with it somehow.
Luckily I did very well and ended my high school days happily enough. Many of the boys still continued to ignore me although some, a few years later, tried to date me, as often happens in these situations, I have heard.
It was as if they were savagely trying to humiliate me during that time, it always felt like a physical violation, as if my physical presence disgusted them or made them profoundly violent or uncomfortable. The shape of my mouth was pointed out (I had full lips), my skin, my hair - all in derogatory ways as if I was a freak. I was once violently shoved into a metal locker, my head smashed into the door and the class reacted by giggling qiuetly. What makes it so odd is that I was a reasonably confident, well liked girl with a good amount of friends, yet everyone simply stood back.
I had therapy to process this in my late 20's (I am 49 now), and it has not impacted my adult life too negatively. But looking back, I can't get my head around why they were all boys. Whenever I hear of bullying, it is quite often 'same gender' bullying, although I am not too experienced with these issues, I admit.
What might also be worth mentioning is that around the exact same time (early adolescence) boys of a similar age began to verbally abuse me locally, too. They had no connection to the boys at school - it felt as if it was written on my forehead at the time! It all passed relatively quickly, and my mid teens were very different (I became very popular with boys), but it certainly left a mark.
Apologies for the length, I so hope this is ok to post here. I would love to hear thoughts on this, whether it is actually a common occurrence.
Was I alone in this?