Book / tv show recommendations for my boy-girl

[MiMouse]

My DD (4,5) has been expressing her desire to be a boy for nearly 2 years now. She gets extremely excited when people mistake her for a boy. She always wants her hair short. She always wants blue / dark clothes. She wants to play with cars, and dinosaurs, and anything pink or glittery is treated like it might give her scabies. I have just gone along; she likes what she likes, and that is fine.

Anyway, I am not sure where her entrenched gender ideas come from. I know it is not from us. We're not a very stereotypical family. But I do see gender stereotypes in pretty much all media she consumes, and it is so disappointing that we are still dealing with this in 2023. She mostly loves rescue team / police / fireman stuff (Mighty Express, Octonauts, Poli, Fireman Sam, Paw Patrol), and if there are any girl characters, it's often a token character with limited screen time, or she's the team's healer or whatever. So, I am looking for books or shows where girls are the strong one in the team, lifting heavy objects, or girls have short hair and play with cars... Just to show her there are a million ways to be a girl.

All the usual mighty girl book recommendations still have girls looking like obvious girls, and then she is just not interested.

Any ideas?

Ever Clever Eva is a great book with a girl who outwits the wolf.

These are good books:
Ada Twist, Scientist
Rosy Revere, Engineer
Sophia Valdez, Future Prez
Iggy Peck, Architect
Look Up!

TV:
The new She-Ra (Netflix)
Izzy's Koala World (Netflix)
Wolfwalkers (AppleTV)
Jane's Animal Adventures (AppleTV)
Dino Dana (Prime)

George from famous five by Enid Blyton is a well known tomboy character.
Maybe read a few at bedtime story?

There are loads of well known tomboys in fiction. And in real life! Maybe introduce her to some gender non-conforming women if you know any?

My dd has this book which I love https://www.amazon.co.uk/Worst-Princess-Anna-Kemp/dp/1847388760/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=1174279316985362&hvadid=73392659382654&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=131641&hvnetw=o&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-73392594161685%3Aloc-188&hydadcr=24404_2219366&keywords=the+worst+princess&qid=1690483300&sr=8-1

Princess hates dresses, gets 'rescued' by an idiot prince, teams up with the dragon and goes off on adventures leaving prince behind

Oh and maybe when she's a little older the Zoey and Sassafrass books are great for getting girls interested in science

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dragons-Marshmallows-Zoey-Sassafras-Book-ebook/dp/B079LP3MXV/ref=sr_1_2?crid=XBBH3LUEUMEH&keywords=zoey+and+sassafras+book+1&qid=1690483488&sprefix=zoey+and+s%2Caps%2C92&sr=8-2

My friends daughter spent a couple of years when she was that age telling her Mum to call her a boys name (I can't remember what it was now). I don't think my friend did, maybe once or twice to humour her and she came through it unscathed.

She's still a tomboyish girl though, she's 12 now but so far has not declared any trans identity thank god. She's full on rainbow flags though and has a trans identifying cousin. (My friend is a terf, her daughter says we are transphobes 🙄)

She sounds a lot like my niece who very much enjoyed a Disney film called Raya about a girl who is a warrior and there is something about dragons, i dont know the whole plot but it was acceptable to another tomboy girl so must be reasonably non-glittery!

How about the Little Princess cartoons? My DD used to watch this, she may have been a little older. The Little Princess isn't Princessy at all she just happens to be one, she's a bit naughty though but just typical child - scruffy brown hair and having adventures round her palace.

If you've got Amazon Prime it's on there, Or Channel 5 https://www.channel5.com/show/little-princess

I loved the Meg & Mog books when I was a kid
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-People-Meg-Picture-Shrinkwrap/dp/0141376260/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=meg+and+mog&qid=1690484690&sr=8-4

My girls (now 7, 9 and 11, so a bit older) love Dragon Riders: Race to the Edge. If you think that's a bit old for her (it's a PG) then there's a little kids version called Rescue Riders. (My DH calls it Claw Patrol.) The main characters are boy & girl siblings and they both save the day all the time. The girl is the smart one. There's a mix of boy and girl dragons too.

Miraculous Ladybug is good in that Ladybug is strong and in charge, but holy crap the teen angst is annoying, and it's very stereotypically girly in other ways.

Mira Royal Detective, maybe, on Disney Plus? And Elena of Avalor.

Films - Brave and Mulan, both Disney, both strong young women who break gender stereotypes in spite of pressure to conform

Someone mentioned the Ada Twist, Scientist books up above - this now also has a TV series on Netflix.

The Disney film Encanto also has a mix of female characters, including a super strong weightlifting women. Also Brave features a very ungirly, outdoorsy princess.

The only picture book I can think of featuring a 'tomboyish looking' girl is The Journey Home by Alison Lester, where a girl and her brother dig all the way through their sandpit, come out at the other side of the world, and have to journey home meeting pirates etc along the way. Other picture books where the girls/women play more of an adventurous role:
-Beryl's Box by Lisa Taylor (tomboyish girl and more 'girly' girl go on an adventure together in a magic box)
-Katie and the Dinosaurs/ Katie in London by James Mayhew
-Wishing Moon by Lesley Harker
-Mrs Pepperpot stories (picture book versions)
-The Jolly Witch by Dick King Smith

O'Brien Panda Press also does books you could read to her, they're not picture books exactly but they do have illustrations. I remember some of them featured girls who had shortish hair and were quite tomboyish:
'Katie's Caterpillars' and 'Katie's Cake' by Stephanie Dagg
'My Dog Lively' by Patrick Deeley
'Fireman Sinead' by Anna Donovan

Also, some films that show girls playing a more heroic/action role (although they don't necessarily have short hair or anything)
Matilda (both the original film and the more recent film are great)
Luca (main character is a boy but he makes friends with a tomboyish girl)
Spy Kids (not sure if 4.5 is a bit young for this, a while since I've seen it)
The Incredibles
Toy Story 2 (Jessie)
Flushed Away (Rita)
Madeline
Annie (my kids prefer the 1998 version!)
Anastasia
Maybe Mary Poppins? Not a child but she does have magic powers!

Can't think of many tv programmes other than Miraculous I'm afraid!

Abney and Teal
Clangers
Lily's Driftwood Bay
Maisy (mouse)
Miffy's Adventures Big and Small
Topsy and Tim

Just thought of The Wild Thornberrys, if that's still on anywhere?

Cbbc has a presenter called Laura who has short hair and colourful but not girly clothes. I tried to paste in an image but couldn't make it work. Just Google cbbc Laura. I don't know anything about her otherwise.

Princess smarty-pants by Babette cole? (About a princess who decides not to get married and lives with her animals instead). Granny's bunkbed bus? (Granny decides to take up welding and makes a play bus out of some old bunkbeds - am pretty sure she appears in a picture with overalls and a welding mask on). Both quite old but they're both picture books not chapter books.

Agree with Grace's amazing machines (some series were Caties amazing machines, not sure which ones are on iplayer at the moment).

I do empathize: I have a boy who loves dance and is not interested in football or gaming.

I don't know if it's on any more but cbeebies biggleton might have some girls being police officers/firefighters/mechanics etc

I'm not sure it's exactly what you're looking for, but Nobody Owns the Sky is a lovely picture book about Bessie Coleman, who became the first African American to have a pilot's licence.

Bessie Coleman died in a plane crash and the book does cover that, not graphically at all but you might want to be aware of that before reading!

The worst princess.

Amazing book. Princess in the tower saved by the prince who turned out not to be the happy ever after- wants her to be pretty stay in the castle while he does the fun stuff. "I wear the armour here, you wear dresses are we clear?" So she befriended the dragon knocked down the castle in the process her hair get burnt short. Prince unimpressed she doesn't care. Off she goes with the dragon. Rhymes beautifully too. My absolute fav book for kids.

Zog and paper bag princess I recommend too but as you say the girls are still girly.

Ada twist scientist. Also very good book but still looks like a girl but she at least has a ponytail and isn't 'girly'. There's an engineer one by the same author also a girl character and not a girly girl.

Thinking about it we need many more books for tomboys there just isn't enough!

When she's older read her famous five for George. Also castle of adventure has a wild girl running around not at all girly.

Rohal dhal revolting rhymes red riding hood. She kills the wolf herself and makes a coat. Then the three little pigs revolting rhyme has them call red for help and she kills the wolf again but also the pigs.

Cbbc odd squad? Led by Miss O who has hair in a tight bun I think and wears a military type uniform - may be a skirt suit I can't remember but definitely not pink or girly. There are a range of other girls in it too doing various jobs.

Ronia the robbers daughter is very adventurous and fearless. Chihiro from Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away is very brave and tough, but not all five year olds would be comfortable with some if the imagery/story line. Apple Jack from my little pony is great (second incarnation), and actually the story lines are more Star Trekky than you would think. I second the new Shera. Avatar the Last Airbender has a great mix of characters, male and female, and no one would call Toff feminine (plus it’s a great series). Gravity Falls doesn’t have super girly girls. Sarah and Duck, Abney and Teal, both have female leads. Tea cup travels, both the boy and girl got to go in equal amount of adventures. Spider Gwen is every bit as amazing as Miles Morales.

Someone mentioned Lilo and Stitch upthread, that’s a genuinely brilliant movie with a realistic rounded awkward little girl in the lead (and the line ‘This is my family. It’s little, and broken, but still good’ makes me cry like a baby). It also has good men as background characters

Strong ‘not recommended’ for Ratatouille also mentioned upthread. There’s a scene where the male lead kisses a woman who doesn’t want him to, and is in fact so frightened of him she’s clutching a canister of mace. Had to do some explaining to my sons when that scene came up (if someone is frightened of you leave them alone, whatever Disney says about it)