Do you support the abolition of women's single-sex spaces? If you say no, are you sure?

[Ofcourseshecan]

I'm furious. Just seen that my bank statement shows a payment to 'Stonewall Equality'. No way would I ever give money to a male supremacist organisation undermining women's rights, so I realised I'd either bought from or donated to something under a different name.

It turned out to be when I was buying Vue cinema tickets. I vaguely remember the cashier asking me if I'd like to add a 'donation to charity', and I agreed (as I usually do) without paying much attention while fumbling with my purse etc. I expected the cashier would say what the charity was or that its name would show on the card machine screen, which didn't happen, but I didn't give it any more thought till I saw my bank statement today.

It was only £2, but that was to be doubled by Vue's payment provider Adyen. And now I have to send a bigger donation to one of the crowdfunders or groups trying to defend women's rights, to cancel out my stupid action.

Annoyingly, I already knew you should check what you're donating to when street collectors ask you for money, as there are so many dodgy or fake charities exploiting people's good nature. I just wasn't suspicious of a big company like Vue: I thought it would be the usual uncontroversial choice, eg a children's hospital. But if Starbucks can support Mermaids ushering children into a lifetime of drug dependence, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

TL;DR always check who's taking your money when you're asked for a 'charity donation'!

I take the simple route and say no thanks.

I'm glad to have been made aware of this, thanks

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Thanks for sharing this op - how enraging. I'll be very careful in then future as I often agree to donation options and I seriously object to giving a single penny to stonewall.

I never feel bad saying no to these donation requests. I give an evening each week to a local charity, where I can instantly see the consequences of my efforts.

I never say yes to those things now. I have a lot less trust in big charities than I used to - they are almost all signed up to the gender woo for starters, plus the level of waste of donation money is huge. The amount that actually goes to doing anything useful to help people is so minimal compared to what is donated.

I support small, local charities where I can see how the money is used and I can speak to the people running the show. The only large, international charity I will support is Lumos, because JK Rowling pays for all the running costs from her own pocket so that all donation money goes on the actual projects.

I agree it's not very clear. I think it's a reference to Stonewall's stated objectives (can anyone link?) which include outlawing spaces that can (currently) be exempt from the Equalities Act due to reasons of dignity and safety (i.e. single-sex spaces).

Wow that's so sly. Thanks for the heads up, OP.

I thought this would be a thread about voting for Labour! As in that case, I would make a distinction between "do you support ..." (which to me is about your thoughts in support, your actual ideology) and "are you supporting..." (about the way your actions uphold things).

I don't understand why you would say yes to this sort of vague "donation for charity" in a shop. Even assuming that all such charities will be for causes you support in principle - a big assumption, but let's make it - it's still not one selected by you. It's just the shop asking you for more money. It's on the understanding that it's to be conveyed to the charity, which isn't even a certainty.

Chalk it up to late experience and refuse in future.

In this situation I'd wrote to Vue and explain exactly what happened and how you feel about it.

It doesn't seem right or fair that you donate to an unspecified charity , especially if they are choosing such a controversial one.

They have a feedback survey here:

https://www.myvue.com/get-in-touch/give-us-feedback

I guess anyone could send feedback on their thoughts on Vue supporting Stonewall.

BorisKilledMyHusband - I accidentally supported Stonewall by giving it money.

Stonewall used to campaign for gay rights but its major focus is now on gender identity, the trans issue.

Stonewall campaigns for gender self-ID, which would allow any man (whether trans-identifying or not) to have access to all women's single-sex spaces, because it would be illegal to contradict him if he says he's a woman.

Women would have the corresponding right to enter men's toilets, changing rooms etc. But this wouldn't pose the same threat to men's safety as men pose to women, as men carry out nearly all sex offences and most violent crimes.

I should have said: gender self-ID would allow any man, whether he believes himself to be a woman or not, to have access to all women's single-sex spaces etc.

Obviously there's no way of telling whether he genuinely believes that or not. But it doesn't make any difference. Where gender self-ID is the law, a man just has to say he's a woman, and it is illegal for anyone to dispute this.

And this is why I always say "No" to these requests, unless they specify which charity. And even then I have no hesitation in saying "No", if it's a charity whose aims I disagree with.

People seem to think that 'charity' must always = 'good', and that only a bad person would not support any and every charity. Same social pressure as being afraid of being called phobic, or bigoted, or unkind.

At least your bank won't be closing your account. Pay the other charity in cash, to be on the safe side.