How my husband became a woman …

[Justme56]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12211923/How-HUSBAND-WOMAN-25-years-marriage-caught-wearing-knickers.html

i read that - really sad about the reality of living with and then divorcing a trans identifying male. What is really striking is how utterly self absorbed and selfish the husband has been - total disregard even to his children's wellbeing. Some of that is being trans though some could be just be being a complete man-twat.

the point she made about lack of support while he had nhs led trans support etc was quite poignant

It's terrible to read that, but not at all a surprise to those of us who read Tinsel Angel's transwidows thread..

That poor family.

One of the things that never ever ceases to make me angry in these stories is how the transitioning partner treats their own children. We are always told (often on here) "you're a mother now, you have to put your children first"

I guess that's a part of womanhood they're not interested in?

They are well rid of him. Hopefully he doesn’t crawl out from under the stone anytime soon sans stilettos and fishnets.

Even in stories like this though, still with the language that he "became" a woman.
When will someone have the balls (pun intended) to clarify that men cannot actually become women?

Comments overwhelmingly in favour of GC views it seems.
A few sparkly people saying how stunning and brave he was by "living his true life" etc.

These cross dressing men become like addicts if their obsession is allowed to take-over. Hence the self absorbption and narcissism, and total disregard for anyone or anything else.

absorption

Just the visuals on the link there are so offensive. Hmmm, red stilettos, all it takes to become a woman.
hands up who wears red stilettos??
it’s just old, crap gender stereotypes over and over, I’m sick of it.
ok
rant over
off to have a cuppa

I'm so sorry for this woman and her kids and what her husband/their father put them through for his own sexual gratification. What unmeasurable selfishness that is. I'm pleased she is free of him and in a new relationship and I'm also pleased stories like this are now hitting the national press. The financial burden, fear and stress! No wonder she ended up in hospital and her poor kids, I feel for them as it happened when they were teenagers and already struggling with that.

(Was it Jane Fae who told his daughter about his cross dressing just before her GCSEs?)

Kudos to Tinsel and all she has done for years now to raise awareness of the very real situations these women, and their children, bear.

I agree. However it is a Daily Mail piece. I wouldn't expect anything less

The stock photos in the article are terrible!

But I agree with the sentiment.

(Was it Jane Fae who told his daughter about his cross dressing just before her GCSEs?)

I think it might have been D Hayton.

Yes they're not at all interested in the life of a real woman or becoming a real woman (largely, there are some 'old school' transsexuals for whom this may not be true) - the childcare, the unpaid labour, the giving a tiny shit about the impact you're having on your kids.

They're interested in being an incel's idea of a woman, that's all.

And yes, kudos to Tinsel for all she has done to highlight the insanity and abuse.

We need to hear more and more transwidows voices. And the state needs to stop aiding and abetting these men in their abuse of their wives and children.

So sad to hear that one of the children had such horrendous mental health consequences from her father's selfish actions. His actions are just not being a good parent, it's being an abusive parent no matter what 'gender' the father is. The father is behaving abusively to his kids and gets a free pass because 'trans'.

Don't get me started on NHS resources going to fund these men's destructive abusive delusions.

I have some sympathy for the man in question, the same as I have for any other addict (drink, drugs, gambling etc), it's a conscience decision to go down that path, but then it takes over. And like other addicts family members etc are victims of the behaviour.

Unfortunately the selfish behaviour comes from society that doesn't treat it as an addiction but rather an LGBT+ rights issue that treats everyone else as bigots. He's a victim because society won't say what he's really dealing with, but rather pretend that it is "gender identity". He's also a victim of medical malpractice, anorexics aren't given gastric bypasses, so why do these men get "gender affirming" treatment?

There should be treatment, like there is for gambling addiction, and how to get men off of this behaviour. A gambling addict isn't given affirming treatment (such as taxpayer money for more gambling).

It is an addiction, treat it as such and treat families as you would treat families of addicts.

No, he is not a victim.

It was Fae. I remember reading an article. Unsurprisingly it did affect her exams. I think she's since forgiven her father. Or reconciled might be a better word.

But we don't have the language for any of this @HootyMcBooby76, do we? I find myself saying 'male to female' etc in the full and certain knowledge that such a thing is impossible. How else to express such a weird idea? Men who masquerade as women expesses my view accurately, but is that so the other way round? Are transmen masquerading as men? I wouldn't say that as I think their motives are usually quite different.

One thing's for sure: the difficulties around language in this area are intended so that we lose power and they gain it.

I see what you're saying, but I even prefer "identifies as a woman" (which is still total bollocks) to "became a woman".

These phrases just permeate down through our language until they become a kind of "truth" and accepted as fact, when we all know it to be a complete fiction, both legal and biological.

I guess that's a part of womanhood they're not interested in?
That is exactly tight. Many that I know ( through work) just cherry pick the bits and act out bits they like about being a woman. I have said to some that I guess they don't want the shitty side to being female, I.e statistically more likely to suffer DV, more like to suffered sexual assault, negative pay differences etc.

They are offensive but that's what Charlize was doing when pretending he was a woman. He was wearing fishnets, stilettos and the sort of underwear women don't wear day-to-day (if ever). He was putting on a wig. He was then being more selfish than any woman is allowed to be without being harangued from all sides. He didn't become a woman. He became a parody. The visuals are appropriate for that.

I agree, and it's why I find the people who just go along with pronouns or think that gender neutral language is fine and isn't a big deal so infuriating.

Language is extremely important (which is why they are so focused on controlling it). Being able to accurately and truthfully describe something is a fundamental part of our shared understanding of each other and the world, and having to lie or misrepresent something in language only adds to confusion and obfuscation (which is what they want).

"I am still utterly bemused by how my ex handled it. Some psychotherapists think that some people transitioning go into a state where they cannot think of anything other than finally being able to be free. They've spent all their lives not being themselves and, when they do come out, they feel it's their time now.

I get that. But, with all the kindness in the world, it is still a huge challenge for your children, your family, your life partner."

Sums things up well.