My autistic 13yo DD identifying as gender fluid. Need help to navigate this

[Concestor]

I'll start by saying I don't believe in gender. You can't change sex. And gender is just personality. My DD knows I have this view but recently "came out" (her words) to us as "being" gender fluid.

I want to keep lines of communication open and keep her safe from the worst of this cult (hormones, surgery).

None of her friends identify as anything trans. She is off school long term sick and spends time online but not on social media (she's not allowed).

I'd appreciate any ideas on how to deal with this. At the moment I'm just telling her I love her as she is, and using her normal name and pronouns.

There is lots of good ASD specific advice under the resources section of the Bayswater support group

www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/resources/

I found that the label non binary was seemingly being used as a refuge for a lack of comfort.
It helped when I explain more about our method of bringing them up; clothes are for everyone, boy/girl gender stereotypes are very rigid and how id never particularly identified as a girly girl. Something in that honest conversation helped a penny drop and was enough to give her space for the foreseeable.

The best thing for you to do is communicate that you respect them and are proud that they feel comfortable to come out to you. I would suggest you use whatever their preferred pronouns are and allow themselves time to figure out their identity.

They are most likely confused about their body and don't know how to feel about it and that's ok, not everyone feels comfortable with their body or the gender they are assigned at birth. It's important to recognise these feelings and not shun them by using old pronouns as that will only exacerbate any mental health issues they may be suffering from.

Good luck handling this situation, as long as you are kind and compassionate towards your daughter you can't go wrong.

Not one single person ever on this planet has ever been assigned a gender at birth. Ever.

Play it cool.

"Are you dear? Well, lots of people take a while to work out who they are"

I would leave it to her to explain what it means to her , if she ever works it out.