Parents who "affirm" are not safeguarding their children.

[collateral]

(100) What the Hell is Wrong with Parents? - by Lucy Leader (substack.com)

Thanks op will read it later

Parents who affirm may be failing to safeguard their children, I certainly feel that way about the parents of my trans relative. However it's not always as simple as that article suggests. What would you do if your child had been diagnosed as mentally ill and the professionals involved in their care were supporting the view that transition would solve their problems? Then their school chimes in and agrees. Charities supported by your government back this up and tell you your child will commit suicide if you dont affirm. Would you think they must all know best or could you stand out against this?

I'm angry with the parents of my trans relative but I can also see why they caved. I'm absolutely furious with the medical professionals who should have practised evidence based medicine and done no harm.

The real questions are

why are parents, who have to live with the consequences, consistently having their rights removed so children can be brainwashed at school

why has the medical profession colluded with practices not evidence based

who is funding this and how can we stop that.

Mental health diagnoses are common in young people https://digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/mental-health-of-children-and-young-people-in-england/2022-follow-up-to-the-2017-survey

Even if you assumed that they were no more common in those seeking transition than other young people then there are going to be a lot of parents in the same boat.

I think there are different types of affirming parents.

The first type is like @anyolddinosaur described, they are frightened and confused and genuinely want the best for their child, so they obey the professionals who tell them transition is the answer, after all they are the professionals right?

The second type is like a Muchhausens parent; they enjoy having a child who is different, with a very high profile 'condition' (trans) that no one can criticise. They love the attention and validation. Jazz Jennings' mother is this type I believe.

The hird type would honestly rather have a surgically altered 'stight' child than a same-sex attracted child. Little Jonny likeds boys, can't have that, let's turn Little Jonny into a girl. This is the saddest type in my view. The mother of Kai Shappley is of this type I think.

Will also read later. Agree with pp, the why is important. Our era increasingly and depressingly reminds me of Brave New World where babies are gestated in jars and brought up without mothers. The values of this world are of promiscuity without love and family.

When parents' instincts of protection are overridden by other people's ideologies, we've misstepped as a nation.

Bloop your post made me wonder whether the continual pressure to increase childcare hours and get mothers back to work earlier & for longer has some part to play in this? The less time parents spend interacting with their children, the less influence they have in developing their children’s values and boundaries. Not conspiracy theorising, but there may be an unintended consequence…

I think parents are understandably very frightened. There’s perhaps a consequence of the legal situation with GIDS that parents have talked about- that if their late teens child wants to have cross sex hormones, thus could be via adult services for which there are long waiting lists, or if they stay in the children’s services in the meantime they will have to be put on blockers (even though they are well past puberty) purely to then get prescribed hormones later. They feel the young person can’t tolerate to just wait and have the hormones later if they still want them then, as an independent adult decision at a later date via the NHS adult services. The young person is being encouraged to pin everything on a medicalised transition asap ie access to hormones. The culture online is still as focused on that as ever.

There’s also an issue that some of the professional emotional support available is trans-led so I would imagine, no room for other political views/ alternative belief systems in the discussion, which seems to be particularly key.

Plus the ongoing minimisation of the impact of autism in this whole space. Detransitioners’ stories also not widely heard.

I gave up on that article sorry OP. The American experience is just a bit different with the very different healthcare there.

What @potniatheron said

I also think the autistic/neurodiverse element is important to consider.

Particularly autistic girls who are frequently not diagnosed as early.

Many many autistic people grow up feeling 'other'. If you don't know you are autistic you do wonder why you feel differently and it makes sense there is a jump to 'I must be the wrong sex'

There is also the element of literalness in autism. We like our categories. I watched my son sort all his Lego into their colour groups the other day in the order you get them in the rainbow. I used to do the same, its weirdly fun. If you accept men and women are not biologically defined then all the gender categories become something you invest effort into working out so you fit in and don't look as 'alien' as you feel inside. If everyone tells you gender is sex and because you find navigating social stuff a challenge you do take in what others say about this stuff and build you understanding of the world from that. Often the autistic experience doesn't match that if those around so it's not hard to accept you must just not be understanding gender/sex and go with the majority most vocal .

I've watched a fair few detansitioner videos now lots of them did not know they were autistic at the start of transition

Posted too soon.

To add re autism.

Autistic kids are different to NT kids. So parents are often aware something is going on but don't know what. Again especially with girls and non white people who are often dismissed from ASD assessment because (rasist patriarchy) the assessment criteria is based on white boys.

If you can see your child struggling but school say it's not autism/neurodiverse you may be more likely as a parent to affirm the gender identity.

Also lots of us parents to autistic kiddos are neurodiverse ourselves. Which comes with its own challenges

There is this undermining of the traditional parental roles. I guess they would call it queering (i don't understand their terms). You can see it beyond the state and childcare/work in medicine. When the doctors took over pregnancy/birth/early years (but to balance, the has been some push back in the UK) and even the big role teachers now play. I'm on home schooling forums and there exists great mistrust in education about parents keeping kids at home...I could go on 🤭