Using the word 'girl' - what does this mean

[Marie0001]

Hi all

I'm curious to know what you might mean when you use the word 'girl' or someone uses the word 'girl' ie how would you define it based on your usage or how you hear others using it .. the sex, age of the person etc

Don't want to say too much as I am just curious to hear what you all think!

Thanks!

My (female) ex boss used to call me and the other women in the team all grown women two in their 40s 'girls ' and it wound me right up.

Things like a 'girls night out' to mean a social event of just women wouldn't bother me.

Don't get me started on 'ladies '

If you are my Mum (90) or my Dad (89) you mean that the person you are referring to is a human female of any age. Many a time and oft I have been confused to meet an elderly woman who they had been referring to as a girl. The 'girls' may be older than they are. Not all women are 'girls'. Some are ladies. Very, very few are women. Meanwhile, men are men but some are gentlemen. Very few are boys. I've never cracked the code.

I use the word 'girl' for under 18s who are female.

almost all words in English have both formal meanings the 'legal' / policy meaning if you will as well as informal usage.

Formal usage = Female human under the legally defined point of adulthood i.e. 18 in the UK atm.

Informally adult women often go on girls nights out, and female children are often referred to as young women particularly in their teenage years. Nevertheless the child / adult boundary remains significant particularly for women and girls.

Girl means a female (the old fashioned born female kind) child, under 18 or thereabouts. I'd only ever use it to mean female children, don't use it to refer to adult women.

Female human under the legally defined point of adulthood i.e. 18 in the UK atm.

This is what it means for me. Any other usage tends to have misogynistic undertones. I know women sometimes use it about themselves too: there is internal misogyny that is socialised into many women (remember the Inner Beryl, everyone?).

It is extremely important that the boundaries around children and childhood are maintained as it seems to me there's a definite assault on safeguarding of children these days - part of safeguarding children is not treating them like mini adults. So definitions are important in law and in reality.

A bit off topic but my dad is 90 and I was kind of charmed when he referred to my male colleague, who he has never met but is the child of one of his peers at school, as a boy. The ‘boy’ is now 60.

I have an aunt who took exception to my Polish forename and will only refer to me as my username. I wear it with pride . I am Jane's little girl.

If someone on a dating site says they’re looking for a girl to spend their free time with etc I will immediately dismiss them. A man in his 50s who doesn’t know that girl and woman are different is not for me. So clearly to me girl connotes someone very young - potentially 20 max.

I may jokingly refer to my friends as girls, come on girls, or girls night out, but more likely to use hos or witches tbh!

Girl - Female under the age of 18

Thats what the term “girl” means to me. I’m sure there will be posters along soon to tell me I’m wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

A female child.

If a grown man is calling himself a girl it's a sexual fetish.

Young female humans. The younger they are, the more likely I am to use girl. Nowadays I would probably use it for most females up to 21ish if talking to people my age (50+), though I also use “young women” a fair amount for females over 15/16ish, depending on context and the language others around me are using. I also frequently use it to refer groups of women in a social contexts (girls night out, etc.) as it often seems preferred by women.

I try to avoid it in a professional context for anyone over 18, regardless of the preference of the subject or the language others are using.

I always say "ladies" of addressing a group of friends in say a group chat or email. Girls is a bit odd, but it depends on context as it's not offensive in itself. Can't say "Guys" which I used to sometimes do, because some might be offended at that. So why do we even bother, I feel like I should just give up 🙄

Like PPs, girl to me means female child. Phrases like ‘girls’ holiday’ or ‘girls’ night out’ are silly. Talking about ‘a girl at work’ when you wouldn’t also say ‘a boy at work’ just sounds belittling & patronising, I always want to ask if they’re on work experience.

Generally for me a girl is a female under 18, or appearing to be under 18. That said, I have difficulty referring to my daughters, aged from mid 30s to mid 40s, as women. It's not easy when you've known people forever, and it's similar with friends' sons, who I've known since babyhood but they're now middle aged men with receding hairlines. Hard to call them men, though they are.

If someone were to refer to me (late 60s) as a 'girl' I would gave no idea who they meant.

Any man describing himself as a 'girl' gives me the ick in spades.

I used boy/ girl into my 20's about my peers/ friends of my age and myself. Until I was about 25 it felt strange to refer to myself as 'woman'. I don't think that was internalised misogyny because I also did it with boys/ men. It's more about when people look and feel like adults rather than the cut off age of 18.

I really don't see the problem with phrases like "girls night".

Men also have a "boys night" or "lads night".

It would be strange to say "women's night"?

Thank you all - very insightful.

I also agree that to me it is female child or someone very young probably a teenager.

However I think when I was in my 20s (I think!) I used it more colloquially to refer to friends. I is also have lots of WhatsApp group chats from my 20s with 'girls' in even though we are now in our 30s..

If an adult male referred to a woman as a 'girl' in conversation would you question or correct it?

Nowadays I’d probably only correct in a professional setting. Or if there were some particular reason for wanting to make the point that the people he was referring to were adults in the context of the conversation.

I used to jump on things like that but as I’ve got older I’ve come to view it as far less important, even though I still dislike it personally. I’ve found that policing people’s language for the sake of making them use/not use a particular word is a good way to get their backs up and stop them listening to anything else you have to say.

I don’t correct & try not to react, though I might do an internal eye roll. I think the real problem is that we don’t have female equivalents of terms like blokes / chaps / guys.

There was one time at work where someone referred to me as ‘this young lady’ and I asked why they hadn’t called my male colleague ‘this young gentleman’. He got the point.

A female child. Formally under 18, but I think maybe under 16.

Any other usage is rooted in misogyny.

Based on usage, I'd say it means a female child or young woman, or a young person who is perceived as female, or as an informal term for an adult woman that's used similarly to lad/chap etc for men, or to indicate a close relationship, or as a camp way of referring to a person of any gender.

A female under the age of 18?

I think the context also really matters:

Really annoying/misogynistic if used by male colleagues/bosses in the workplace for example and I would correct them.

Also a negative if used by grown men to describe women, on the dating scene for example. Especially if it is a middle aged man going on about what type of ''girl'' he is looking for...

I have no issues with women using it to describe themselves: ''girls night out'', ''going out with the girls''.

It always makes me think of horses as well as we ''good girl'', ''good boy'' all the time :)...

In Suffolk you are either a “girl” (pronounced gell with a hard g) or “boy” until you reach pensionable age. Then you become an “old boy” or “old girl”!

I don’t like “girl” being used when the equivalent used for males is “men”.
So say in a meeting someone saying “Form Teo groups. The men will review benefits to the plan, The girls will review risks”.
I don’t think girl is appropriate in a professional setting.

But I get less upset with things like girls night out if the equivalent is boys night out, or if my aunt greets me, “You alright there gell?”

Form two groups

Sensibly, I know it is female humans under 18.

But in practice it’s the collective name for my hens.