Small NHS victory - posted to celebrate and encourage others

[IwantToRetire]

One of the hospital clinics I attend at various intervals always sends out a satisfaction survey.

So I got one this morning and completed it (because I do feel it is worth giving feedback on how sucessful appointments have been etc.).

So this time I got the end and what did I find?

A question about my biological sex - and they made it clear they meant sex.

And then a question about did I have a gender identity. Option No included.

So I can first remember complaining to this particular Trust about only having a question about gender years ago, and got some waffle back about them having it because they were part of some European health network who set the guidelines for collecting data.

So on each satisfaction survey since then for the gender question I have ticked perfer not to say and then added a comment at the end.

And now, some years later, change has happened.

Not claiming it was my lone voice, but am certain that because many other woman have similarly commented, and public discussion about valid data, has made them change their minds.

So it just means they have 4 or 5 or maybe more years of useless data.

So thanks to everyone (and me!) for persisting.

You can never escape what you are and where you come from.

I do think that not being at peace with this is a massive issue. People who have issues with this - for whatever reason - are much more likely to have mental health problems and they are much more likely to take those insecurities and self loathing out on others.

I worry about talk of a 'conversion therapy ban' which will remove even the possibility of dealing with internalised issues because of the suspicion of its intention. It's such bollocks and wholly damaging to all.

I’m past caring about the ‘discomfort’ of people who can’t deal with reality.

The solution to their ‘discomfort’ is therapy, not trying to force society to affirm their delusions.

Exactly. They need bloody therapy, not having their mental illness indulged in.

Alpha Trans doesn't understand much of what's important.

Oh well, it’s not all about you and your struggles with reality, as I’m sure you understand, right?

Just to say thanks for the "thanks" (a new MNHQ addition?) but have to say since I posted that have not had much luck elsewhere.

But I am sure there are other who have had small victories.

More and more I am finding that many dont even understand that there is an issue. We are so far down the Stonewall training mind control, that I might as well be asking why do we need computers. ie for many this isn't an issue, it is done and dusted,

I'm just reading DeTrans by Dr AZ Hakeem and its fascinating to read back comments here about an inability to understand the world in certain ways displayed by a lot of trans people because of the huge correlation with autism.

The way he describes it, it sounds a lot like its almost a social communication version of not developing the concept of object permanence. Object permanence is understanding that an object still exists even if you can't see it - think babies who get very excited at peek a boo because they don't grasp that you are still there the whole time.

Instead he says that trans people with autism lack a 'theory of mind' - the inability to really discern what another person with who they are interacting is thinking combined with black and white thinking - which leads to them living by rules which they decide to be right and expect others to see the world as they do, and if others don't follow their own rules they get very upset and think everyone else is wrong.

This taken to the extreme means that they have very black and white ideas of what males and females should look like and how they should behave and divide the world up in this way. They then decide that because they like or do things for the opposite sex they therefore ARE the other sex. And everyone else sees the world in the same way. A bit like a baby who thinks cos they can't see an object, it no longs exists and that no one else can see it either.

He proposes that this goes as far as thinking that once they are 'presenting' as the opposite sex by these stereotypes they pass and because they haven't got the concept of the rest of the world thinking differently, they believe that everyone else sees them as the opposite sex simply because they've put on the corresponding clothing regardless of the other glaringly obvious clues to sex.

In their heads it IS all about them and what they think. If they think that putting on make up makes them look female then every one else will perceive them in the same way. Regardless of all the other things that mark their sex being obvious.

Its just about how they organise the world - so affirmation is probably just about the worst thing you can do, rather than unpick this and teach that things are not gendered. If this is all true, to affirm at all in a medical capacity isn't just irresponsible its actively grossly negligent and discriminatory.

The fact we have numerous posters who can not conceive that sex discrimination relates to biological function they don't have and will affect everything from the design of things to impact on everyday life rather than presentation and stereotypes, really really highlights the point. We've seen so many examples all saying and doing the same thing. Its fascinating to see in real world play outs.

We CAN NOT order the world along these lines because it doesn't reflect reality and how the world works - it only reflects the beliefs of people who can't see things from the perspective of others.

By definition this is about as far removed from being inclusive as it is possible to be.

I’m wondering if we can do better than the phrase “assigned at birth”, though. Please correct me if I’m wrong
We can!! It's observed at birth not assigned. No sorting hat needed. It's really easy!

Or just "sex?" would do. It doesn't have to be observed or assigned, it just IS. And it IS at any time of your life, not just at birth. A person's sex can never change no matter what gender (or none) they think they are.

Exactly.

We NEED to get back to just plain old boring sex. Throw gender (with option to put 'do not belief in gender') in if you must but we NEED to have sex.

Can't see sex, can't see sexism. Sexism isn't to do with how you dress and present.

This is an amazing post, a real lightbulb moment for me!

Thanks Op and don't feel discouraged that there's not a surge of similar stories. Please keep chip chip chipping away.
Every little helps, as the woman who weed in the sea said....

Thanks for that Redtoothbrush. I saw Dr Hakeem interviewed recently about his book and he came across very well.