Help-friends 18 yr old daughter has announced she wants to transition-is neuro diverse

[happydappy2]

Parents are extremely worried that she will get testosterone as now over 18-is that possible? I've suggested she read Irreversible damage by Abigail Shrier and look at Transgender Trend website. Watch Affirmation Generation and listen to de transitioners such as Chloe Cole. Any other links to help parents navigate this would be much appreciated-also any suggestions for the daughter to watch please. Thank you

You've already mentioned Transgender Trend but there's a lot on there.

As a navigation aid, I found the pdf on Autism and Gender a really great start part.
Also, this article here about an autistic girl: https://www.transgendertrend.com/teenage-gender-identity-crisis/

Also, I read the Gender Dysphoria therapy book by Sue Evans and Marcus Evans. Such a helpful book.

*start point

Also Glinner has a 3 part guide written by a parent who helped her autistic daughter through gender dysphoria. It's in the archives.
Good luck to them. It's such a distressing place to be as a parent.

This young woman was not autistic as far as I know, but she writes very well and this is extremely informative to read about her transition and detransition.

If their daughter is very intelligent and sensitive she might see a lot of truth in this brilliant account.

It wouldn’t help the parents exactly though.

https://lacroicsz.substack.com/p/by-any-other-name?utm_source=url

Scott Nugent's account of the hell she went through at the hands of doctors and surgeons is well worth reading.

My only input other than what's already be said, would be to try and be mindful of how it's approached.
Don't push too hard the other way as she likely won't respond well, and will probably be pushed further into it.

It'll be like confirmation bias to her.

The people in the trans community push, and push hard that your family, especially your parents are not supportive and don't love you enough to listen to your needs.
It was very much the same when I was a teenager and part of the emo crowd and self harming, they'd isolate your from your family, tell you they didn't understand you.
Be sure to be clear in your concern, and why, and why it's from a place of love and support, and making sure they know what they're getting themselves in to, not from a place of hate.

Also be sure re; detrans issues/medical transitions going wrong, be careful not to be too "fear monger" with your approach.
Not because it's not terrifying, it is, but because she'll be able to sense this, and it will 100% be taken the wrong way if she's super deep into the ideology already.
Make sure she knows you're just trying to educate her on what actually happens to your body when you decide to go through all of these life-long, permanent physical changes.
It's real, it's not a magical fairy tale fix all. It has consequences.

Yes, she may well get testostorene now, if some group like Mermaids have not steered her there already. First thing is to have a quiet, calm conversation establishing why she feels like this, what sources of information and advice she has already accessed and whether she feels a counsellor would help her to explore her feelings about this.

Once they have done that it if the girl is determined it is time to explore any risks she may not know about or has been given inadequate information about. The focus should be on how they can help her minimise risks. They can talk about preserving fertility (harvesting and storing eggs) to keep options open. They also need to talk about not needing to change your body to change the way you live your life. Supply details of good role models who have dealt with whatever she is finding difficult in other, less harmful, ways.

They need to explore with her why she is confident this is right for her, hopefully during that process she may realise it isnt going to give her what she wants.

Thank you everyone-will pass this advice on

Testosterone is sadly easily available on private prescription with very little medical guidance. My sons friend is on it at 17

1/3 of people who presented to Tavistock for gender dysphoria were neurodiverse.

Just had another thought as well that I didn't see mentioned yet, but also it may be worth discussing internalised homophobia/her sexuality in general. As that could be adding to the confusion.

There is a lot of evidence that time is very successful in reducing feelings of gender disphoria.

It wouldn’t be the right solution for everyone, but if she was my daughter I would offer to pay for any transition/drugs/surgery etc that she wants on the proviso that she waits until she is 25 before taking any action at all.

And I would cross my fingers that time, maturity and some really decent counselling would do the trick!