DD goes to an all-girls state secondary school. Every week, they send out a newsletter which includes any special achievements by the girls, eg "Olivia S (9 Ash class) got a distinction in her grade 5 piano exam". They have a few trans boys and non-binary students, so sometimes you might see, "Felix B (8 Willow class) raised £124 for the RSPCA with his sponsored litter-pick", or "Clay P (10 Beech class) will be selling free-range eggs from their chickens at break time this Friday".
Recently, I have noticed that all the students in certain year groups seem to have they/their pronouns (there are usually about eight students mentioned per year group). First one year group, then another, and now a third year group, seem to exclusively use they and their. The other year groups (so far) are still mostly using she/her.
Is it really likely that all eight of a random sample of children (per year group of 240) are now choosing to use they/their pronouns? It seems so sudden - this has happened over just a few weeks. Or does this reflect the ideology of the HoY of certain year groups (the list of students with special achievements in each year group is collated by their HoY) who perhaps want they/their pronouns to become the default for everybody? In which case, surely the girls who haven't chosen to use they/their pronouns are being misgendered! Should I query this with school, or will I be "that" parent? I'm otherwise very happy with the school and think they do a great job under difficult circumstances.
For context, DS is at the brother school and their newsletter is full of he/his...
Feminism: Sex & gender discussions
Using "they/their" pronouns by default?
CascadiaHoney · 22/03/2023 11:05
TheMarzipanDildo · 22/03/2023 18:33
I move in very woke student circles and I have friend who uses they/them pronouns for everyone, including me, behind their backs, “just in case”. It has led to some confusion.
No she does not know my views on this. Lost cause!
RosaBonheur · 22/03/2023 20:19
I would be interested to know why she thinks it's less offensive to "they/them" someone who is a "she/her" than it is to "she/her" someone who is a "they/them".
Either getting someone's pronouns right matters or it doesn't.
If it does, she needs to respect everyone's pronouns, and by "they/them"-ing everyone she's deliberately misgendering most people.
If it doesn't, we should all be able to just use sex based pronouns like we have been doing since the dawn of time without worrying about making grown adults cry.
TheMarzipanDildo · 22/03/2023 18:33
I move in very woke student circles and I have friend who uses they/them pronouns for everyone, including me, behind their backs, “just in case”. It has led to some confusion.
No she does not know my views on this. Lost cause!
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