Girls are ‘children who identify as female’ apparently

[Moonicorn]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11848913/Dont-call-girls-princess-tell-theyre-pretty-nursery-tells-parents-woke-handbook.html

I mean I can get on board with not wanting to push gender stereotypes, but 🙄

My nearly 4yo told me the other day, quite seriously, that the Gruffalo lives in the wood behind our house.

It's exhausting all this stuff OP. And unpleasant pushing it at children too young to have the critical faculties to defend themselves against gaslighting.

I don't really know how they have the energy to worry about these things day and night. It would have to be a full time hobby in my personal opinion. Thinking about changing everything about myself and my family culture and language makes my head hurt.

Wonder how Stickman identifies in these times.

I haven't read the handbook, but from the article the various examples seem pretty uncontroversial.

Praising girls on what they do, not their appearance; not calling them bossy (a gendered word which I really object to), filling your house with non-gendered toys and books which include women doing all roles, including gender-non-conforming ones like construction.

Using the term 'identifying as' for kids isn't good. But the advice is good for all children.

Stickman was horribly heteronormative

Reading the article they are making huge assumptions of normal parental behaviour. I'd find it impossible not to tell my kids how beautiful they are because they are to me. Also, so many girls love princesses. Are stereotypical 'girl' things bad and only 'boy' things are good? Like superheroes and getting dirty?

Seems like a brand of feminism where girl stuff (which so many girls are genuinely attracted to) is not as good as behaving like boys.

Extrapolating, maybe staying at home to raise kids is bad too? I think 'girl' stuff and 'boy' stuff should have a parity and both boys and girls can be into them.

Yeah, I object to the idea that everything coded "girl" is harmful and to be avoided but everything coded "boy" is excellent.

I am an adult who identifies as female. I looked down, saw my 34FF’s, and saw that I didn’t have a penis, looked over at the 2 DC I conceived and delivered, and thought “fuck it, I’ll just call myself a woman”.

Unless it's a boy of course who wants to be a princess and called pretty. Then you lay it on with a trowel while applauding like a sealion.

Managing to raise children without help from raving nutjobs obsessed with their new age woo thanks.

<snotty tone not aimed at you OP>

I feel sickened and they just gained 20 billion Euros to fund more of this.

Parents should be able to bring their children up without this.

But how do you KNOW if you haven’t tested your chromosomes?

Useful advice would be to accept it without making a big deal of it in either direction and perhaps (sadly) defending his choices to other adults or older children, and perhaps managing his expectations about how others might react. I bet none of that is in there. Indeed the current fad for allowing boys to embrace their feminine side would be admirable if it wasn’t attached to the assumption he’s probably a girl.

I would be lovely though if parents did stop driving these sexist stereotypes about “bossiness” and excessively judging girls on how they look. Can’t argue with those.

I'd just like if none of it meant anything. Children can like and play with fairy wings, cars, blocks, glitter, trucks, sand, puzzles, books, dolls, teddies, whizzy things, bikes, bubbles, Lego or anything else that catches their eye and none of it has any more profound meaning. Bossiness should always be regulated in all people because you have to learn to cooperate to have a good life and good relationships, but you also have to learn to assert yourself if appropriate, boys and girls.

That's my manifesto. Billions of euro to develop my thinking further, pls tnx.

This one always makes me laugh.

i saw someone on Twitter state that there is scientific dispute over the existence of chromosomes.

Sure, mate.
Tell that to the geneticist who did my breast cancer gene mutation testing (autosomal dominant inheritance pattern) the police lab testing for perp DNA or 23andme.com 😂

In the not too distant future pretty much everyone with access to modern medicine will have their genome sequenced as standard and everyone’s prescriptions will be tailored to their own DNA profile (chromosomes are tightly coiled bundles of DNA, as any fule knos)

www.england.nhs.uk/genomics/

Anyway, back on topic - I also get annoyed when anything stereotyped as ‘for girls’ gets denigrated. Most kids love bright colours and glitter* yet look at the boys’ clothing aisle and you’d think that boy children have some sort of attraction to navy blue and grey.

*even if the living room carpet does not

As I've not long been awake I'm just going to put my signature at the end of your manifesto. When you get the grant I'll send you my bank details.

Boiled X

Another one who's understands why they are saying what they are saying but we do need to perhaps balance it up with the fact that some girls do actually like stereotypical " girly stuff" and it seems really unfair that thats deemed so unacceptable while boys in Princess dresses are love bombed. That has to be as harmful to the girls to watch as the very stereotypes that are being avoided.

How about we just read the situations as they occur.of a girl is enjoying dressing up and being " beautiful " let her have that. Then focus on practicality, comfort, importance of joining in etc when that becomes necessary. And the same with the boys.

Seems everything basically goes from one extreme to the other and both frankly are as harmful as eachother because the results end up the same regardless

I, as a mother of only boys, once pointed out to my friends who had girls that, universally, the very first thing they did when a girl came in the room was compliment them on their appearance. They were nice and praised all equally but they never did it to the boys. They were not happy with me, it was a bit of a faux pas. Maybe I noticed because I was not praised for my appearance as a child ( my parents didn't put much importance on looks, brains were their thing, that s a whole other issue...).
I try and balance things out by praising my boys appearance from time to time, they secretly like it I think, it may have backfired slightly, DS3 is obsessed with clothes and is studying fashion at college!

"I think 'girl' stuff and 'boy' stuff should have a parity and both boys and girls can be into them"

If both boys and girls can be into them, then maybe it's time to stop thinking of things as 'girl' stuff and 'boy' stuff?

Exactly.

Besides, girls and boys can just wear some sturdy practical shoes and leggings under the Princess get up.
Glitter, sparkle and ruffles can combine with outdoor play as long as parents don’t get cross when the net layer gets snagged on a branch.

Must be WELL annoying for girls when boys are lauded for the same hobbies you are derided for caring about (dancing, make up artistry, dress making, cooking whatever).

Must be WELL annoying for girls when boys are lauded for the same hobbies you are derided for caring about (dancing, make up artistry, dress making, cooking whatever)

There is very clearly no interest in making these things open to all equally without comment or judgement or how else will identities be able to be demonstrated 🙄

Yes, this.
I've always told my boys they are beautiful btw.

Yep.

Boys always got ‘boy stuff’ and now very special boys also get to have ‘girl stuff’.

Girls are made to budge over and make room or be shoved or shamed out over and over again.

Sometimes I wonder if the real reason so many teen girls and young women watch Drag Race is for of all the shiny pretties, eg outfits, make up, fake flowers, sequins, crafting sessions etc. It’s a way to consume a joyful riot of ‘femininity’ that is one step removed from the difficulties of being female, both in a practical sense (living in a female body) and in a societal sense (is it actually possible for older girls and young women to play around with similar feminine stereotyped aesthetics without it being interpreted by men as a sexual come on?)

I’ve always been interested in the women who deliberately push feminine tropes to the point where they become quite intimidating to men (eg Bette Davis, Dolly Parton, 90s Courtney Love) but I’m not sure if that’s still possible in an age of internet porn culture?

From the Mail piece:
Last night, former Tory Education Minister Sir John Hayes said: ‘This daft advice from Bright Horizons will darken the horizons of little girls who cannot be called pretty or dress up as princesses, and simply enjoy their childhood the way girls have for generations.’

You couldn’t make it up.

If you only have non-gendered books your children will miss out on a great many good stories - many of which actually challenge stereotypes without making it an issue. Issue books, IMHO, are responsible for many children finding reading books boring.