Bel Mooney article today

[AllAboutMargot]

Bel Mooney has written, (what I think is) a great column, published in the DM today titled 'Why is hating middle-aged women the last acceptable prejudice?'

I don't always articulate my views and thoughts very well so I enjoyed reading it.

As a basis for discussion, she has mentioned a new book called 'HAGS: The Demonisation of Middle-aged Women' by Victoria Smith. I'm buying it.

And no, I don't work for the publisher or the DM

The clue is in the phrase 'self-righteous young women.' Who think all the battles have been won and who forget who fought them. And that one day, sooner than they think, they will be those middle aged woman fighting to be respected at work and get their GP to listen to them, while looking after their parents and doing childcare. Or rather, they don't forget, because they don't think it will be them. And they probably don't realise that they are being enlisted as allies in a war that is directed at subjugating them.

Plus it's a tapping into a fear of middle aged women that's so ingrained it's virtually part of the DNA. Self righteous young women think they know everything. I can speak with authority here, I was one once 😆

Young women don't ever want to believe they will become boring, middle aged women, or worse, like their mum's.

They also want to please men.

It’s not just idealistic young women but men too. That’s how armies recruit. I remember watching programmes where mothers are trying not to wail as their sons excitedly enlist for war. There is something naive and accepting in teenagers/ young adults that is both wonderful and alarming at the same time.

A good article, I too might buy the book.

There was a comment article about it in the Scotsman today too. Photos attached, sorry no link.

Guardian review from last week:

www.theguardian.com/books/2023/feb/27/hags-by-victoria-smith-review-welcome-to-the-age-of-rage

Thank you for pointing out The Scotsman's piece @ChickChickaBumBum - here is a link if it's easier to read:

www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/columnists/how-young-women-are-complicit-in-patriarchy-turning-middle-aged-women-into-hags-to-be-ignored-and-belittled-susan-dalgety-4049694

And to all the women who think that MIL s are awful …remember that if you have children one day you will be ‘that’ MIL!

I've always got on well with my MIL, but I will never be a MIL as I am childfree - I wonder if women get on better with their MILs if there are no parenting-related conflicts to consider?

Interesting thought. I got on well with my MIL and we were childfree. In fact when we split she phoned me up to check I was OK. Perhaps it was the fact that she was a loving mother but not a doting one and well aware of his flaws.

Yes, my MIL is well aware of my husband's flaws and not slow to tell him off if he's annoying her. He's an only child but certainly not doted on - he was born in the 1960s which I don't think was a particularly child-centred era.

We have another thread on Hags:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4749877-hags-review

It has been very widely reviewed, which is great. The linked Guardian review above, by the way, isn't from the Guardian (which as far as I know hasn't reviewed it*) but from the Observer.

People who haven't yet finished Hags will be pleased to know that in the Acknowledgements section she mentions "the hags of Mumsnet".

*They have reviewed Munroe Bergdorf's book, however - Bergdorf being a much more acceptable kind of woman to Guardian staff than the messy biological kind.

The linked Guardian review above, by the way, isn't from the Guardian (which as far as I know hasn't reviewed it) but from the Observer.*

Strange, as online it shows as being from Guardian Society on Mon 27th Feb.

I get on well with my MiL, and we have two children. She's been invaluable support (with FiL and BiL).

I loved my late MIL and still miss her very much (though we had flaming fights over all sorts of things, too, as families often do). She never butted into my affairs and I didn't butt into hers.

People differ and situations differ, of course, but I thought, even when I was quite young, that it was odd how MILs are so often caricatured but FILs are not. It's probably partly because older women have always been more caricatured than older men.

Oh I didn't realise there was already a thread about Hags. Nice to know there's an acknowledgement to us in the book!