How to do better at work

[Jourdain11]

I'm not expecting to hear anything other than confirmation that I'm more than a bit feeble and women would have gained no rights at all if it were left up to people like me.

I work in a university. There is a lot of push on gender-inclusivity, which means transgender-inclusivity. It does not align at all with my beliefs and thoughts in this area, and considering that my work involves a substantial EDI aspect, I bite my tongue a fair bit.

I raised an issue about the (completely non-private) gender-neutral toilets in our new building. I have colleagues who simply won't or can't use them because they feel uncomfortable, or because of their religious beliefs.

I objected to pronouns on my email signature (mainly because I think it's tokenistic, but also because it's not even trans-inclusive - could be forcing a not-out trans person to "misgender" themselves). I was "strongly encouraged" but just didn't do it and it has never yet been mentioned again!

But last week we had a training session and... oh wow. I was quite appalled, and I don't use the word lightly. It's like being indoctrinated into a religion. So I debated a little and you honestly would've thought that I'd committed heresy. There was horrified gasping. I was "gently corrected". I was "called out". And after a while, I just couldn't be bothered. I don't agree. I don't believe it. I don't like the fact that it is forced down everyones' throats all the time. And I actually think people SHOULD object. But I'm just tired of being that person. I don't want the hassle.

But it seems so feeble! There must be a way, but I haven't found it yet, obviously...

Ngl that is a long post I won't read but I will help by commenting to boost it

Well you're doing more than I am. Does that help?

You spoke up. Other people heard you. That's quite a lot. Tbh I think that in the workplace at least, a lot of this will just disappear in a few years. There may be bits that are genuinely useful and they will stick around, but an awful lot of it just won't be talked about any more.

I'd focus on areas of your EDI work that you feel are underserved - eg disability rights - and just ignore the while shebang as much as you can.

@Jourdain11 is the university in the midlands area?

Nope, I imagine it's not an unusual position for a university to take though! Although, the one I work for is quite, hm, well-known for its stance...

Hi OP, I’m an academic and from what I can tell, our HR is completely captured, to the extent that they do not understand the basics of equalities law. I’d be delighted to find just one HR colleague who wasn’t. Be visible, and if that means not having pronouns in your signature, that would be enough for me. Would it help you if academic staff complained about e.g. mixed sex toilets?

Don’t risk your job.

Until I felt safe to speak out at work, I focused on supporting crowdfunders, posting on my personal social media that I knew nobody from my work would see, signing petitions, leafleting and stickering etc. All the stuff that’s really important and can be done under the radar.

Now that I am speaking out, quite a few people have told me privately that they agree but I’m still the only one with my head above the parapet - so far! If you’re visible, that’s a big thing. But the unions can’t be trusted to support you on this & you have to keep yourself safe.

Can former students help?

I don't think you're feeble at all. Most people don't realise how rampant this stuff is throughout our universities. It's so hard to face a tidal wave on your own. Perhaps it's some consolation to know there are employees out there who feel like you do but are too scared to speak out for fear of their jobs. Not much comfort, I know.

And the unions are lamentable.

Well done for starting to speak out OP. I'm an academic. I don't parade my GC views to HR but I do have loads of private conversations with people. Most are GC all the way and even the wokest agree that the bit about kids is not good (haven't tried them on rapists in women's prisons yet). There really are more of us than there are of them

But last week we had a training session and... oh wow. I was quite appalled, and I don't use the word lightly. It's like being indoctrinated into a religion. So I debated a little and you honestly would've thought that I'd committed heresy. There was horrified gasping. I was "gently corrected". I was "called out". And after a while, I just couldn't be bothered. I don't agree. I don't believe it. I don't like the fact that it is forced down everyones' throats all the time. And I actually think people SHOULD object. But I'm just tired of being that person. I don't want the hassle.

There will most probably have been people in that room who needed to hear someone standing up to it! I would be really proud that you did that. Just keep regrouping, conserving your energy and then doing a little when you can, do what you can. Most importantly do not give up and do not allow yourself to fall for the brainwashing.

I just listened to Dr Paul A Taylor being interviewed by the Triggernometry boys. Fab interview, but making the point that university institutions are slowly making themselves obsolete. Someone has to fight for their integrity.

Let the religious colleagues struggling with the shitty toilet situation know that you support them.

HE is impossible. A few years ago it was much more live and let live at my uni. We now have an active staff LGBTQ group who conduct 'training' , which is really only their opinion on how things should be. If any 'training' becomes compulsory then I'll be unavailable on the day.

The only training I have stumbled into was part of an online training course and so nobody saw my grumpy face swearing and clicking through the bullshit slides rapidly.

You don’t need to be religious to not want to share your toilets with males (unless you are male yourself). It’s women’s privacy, safety and dignity and all of the above are routinely disregarded in a sector with a significant sexual harassment problem.

4 in 10 students are victims of sexual misconduct:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-64662612

Wow shitty response

Right with you OP. I’ve written to several universities I’m connected with, and my friend’s daughter (6th form) wrote to Loughborough to complain about their Stonewall connection. Responses are woeful to non-existent. We all just need to keep doing the little bit we feel we can do, and hopefully there are enough of us that the message gets through eventually

Are the toilets to spec? There are standards for mixed sex loos - could you anonymously report the condition of them to your local council?

It wouldn’t help push away the gender woo, but it might be a practical way for your colleagues to get safe facilities.

www.hse.gov.uk/simple-health-safety/workplace-facilities/health-safety.htm

Thanks for all the replies! Some interesting thoughts and some things I will look into. The university I work in has been quite captured by TRA and it's hard work to put across any debate or question. Btw, I'm not an academic - I work in student advice and regulations, but a lot of my role is supporting students who are experiencing difficulties. According to all our CPD, gender dysphoria is the main issue students face. In fact, I've barely come across it. There are actually many students who don't feel their rights as women are recognised and supported, but there's no recognition of that by the uni and the SU are completely preoccupied on the trans rights issue.

I like my job and I don't want to leave (or be put on some kind of disciplinary pathway!) but I think it's sad when a supposedly very liberal institution basically says, "this is the way we think and if you don't agree with us you're intolerant and need to be educated".