Question for Canadians

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My son is starting school here in Canada this year and my husband is worried because we’ve heard some crazy stories about children being socially transitioned at school and parents being arrested for not supporting the transition.

My question is, do we have any reason to worry? Our son likes a lot of stereotypically “girly” things and often says he wants to marry a boy (specifically, a prince!), which makes my husband worry that someone will try to convince him he’s a girl.

We’re not from Canada so we have no idea what the schools are like and what the situation is.

Bump, they might be awake now.

Ask the school

My knowledge of Canadian schools runs to Kayla Lemieux 😬

i'm canadian and canada is a big country with lots of different communities and ethnic groups.
you will have to be more specific as to where you are moving to.
inner city toronto will be a very different than masset haida gwaii

We’re not moving. We already live in Canada. The kids are in French school.

My question more generally is about what the law is as far as schools are concerned. Can we opt out if gender identity is being taught? What are our rights in the admittedly very unlikely event that they try to transition our kid?

the situation is changing rapidly.

sadly i don't think there is an opt out option and if he discusses it with staff they will support him without your consent based on what i have read.

I guess you're in Québec?

We're in Québec, kids in French school and absolutely nothing has been mentioned about it whatsoever

Where on earth have you heard these stories?

My husband has heard stories from colleagues at work. I also have a colleague whose husband works in a school and has told us some quite shocking things. Helen Joyce mentions a well known case in her book in BC. It’s hard to get a handle on how prevalent this issue is based on anecdotes though, hence my post.

I'm in New Brunswick and there is no teaching and guiding students like that. The school I teach at is very accepting, and kids wear whatever they want (we have a boy in Grade 2 who wears dangly earrings every day). But zero fuss is made and nothing is said to the children. They are just allowed to be themselves.

Those crazy stories are just that - crazy stories. We have them circulate every now and then about the middle school level. A rumour went around that a high school close to us had real human sized litter boxes for students "identifying as furries" (google told me this is someone who basically thinks they are a cat). I asked a friend who teaches there and it was all a load of bollocks. Made up by redneck bigots who hate the inclusive and accepting nature of our schools.

I'm in BC and I've not heard anything like that. Personally, I wouldn't be worried (my kids are grown up but went to school here)

Which province are you OP?

I'm in Toronto and have no clue what stories you are talking about. Also Canada is huge.

Most schools in my experience are pushing the gender ideology narrative, and really just queer theory stuff around sexuality generally. Almost every 11 year old girl I have met goes through a period of thinking she is a lesbian or a boy, because they don't really understand the information they are being given. Many schools, including at the elementary level, have a GSA club, and they will totally affirm anything there. Many are filled with kids who simply don't fit in elsewhere.

More directly, in most Canadian schools there are policies that say that over about age 12, if a child asks to change name and pronouns, the school will support it without informing the parents. But you should look at your school board's own policies to be sure.

If your husband's workmates are talking about it I would say it is likely it is going on in your community. I don't think there is a right to withdraw as such, but what is trickier is actually figuring out what will be taught in classes. It's also outside of classes though - things like posters in the school, assemblies, and so on.

First have a look at your school board's website. It's important to stay involved in your child's education, so be sure to go to school meetings. Also, get to know your school trustee as she/he is there to represent parents.

Check out Billboardchris on Twitter to learn what's going on with this issue.

I have a high schooler in Manitoba and would share this sentiment. She’s in an average sized high school and it’s somewhat dizzying. There are probably ten kids in her year group that are “trans” (interestingly all were born female)and there are countless others who would identify as queer. Some days my daughter is gay, then she’s bi, then she’s pan, then, shock horror, some days she plain old fancies boys! Just to be clear, I don’t give a hoot about her sexuality, but I would definitely say school teachings and peer relationships have had an immeasurable impact on it.

The stuff they teach generally regarding sex and sexuality is kind of scary. Fortunately she’s very open and we talk a lot, but the stuff she knows is stuff I didn’t know until I was a lot older and I was a wild child. I was born and raised in the UK (until my early 20s) and, even considering it’s different times, the difference in sex ed is scary. I think it’s just part of the current culture and while I don’t think people are being arrested, there’s definitely an expectation that you’re on board with it.

I'm in BC. Our high school is accepting and fully educates the kids but doesn't push anything - that's definitely a narrative you're getting from somewhere. I have a friend with a trans child in a neighbouring school and they have been allowed to be known by another name and have been accepted as their chosen gender. I'm not sure what else you are afraid will happen - schools don't give out hormones or do surgery.

In Canada, education is a provincial responsibility. Some responsibilities are further delegated to school boards/districts. Thus the laws in BC will be different from Saskatchewan. Some school boards and schools seem utterly captured, but it is hard to know the extent of the problem. Journalist Jon Kay (twitter jonkay) has reported many worrying examples of activist school boards, most from Ontario. Maybe Quebec is more immune than English Canada, but maybe not.

You are right to be concerned. Be proactive and vigilant. Make an appointment to visit the school, talk to the principal and look around. Ask to see the curriculum materials. Familiarize yourself with provincial and board policies. Vote in local school board elections. Be prepared to pull your child out of class if you don't agree with what is being taught.

OP could be anywhere in Canada. All provinces have French immersion and Francophone schools. They’re not necessarily in Quebec.

Recent studies have discussed the dangers of social transition, setting kids on the path to hormones and surgery, so I would prefer to avoid even that.