Triggernometry - I Transitioned My Child - I Regret It

[OneLongSmorgasbord]

There's a new interview on Triggernometry with an American mother that socially transitioned her first child but realised something was wrong when her second child thought he was trans too.

I'm watching it now and thought others might like to watch and discuss.

I'm half way through as tough to watch this one. But honestly listening to her describe her thought processes, she sounded like she had been brainwashed!

Right things to do then back to it.

I think she represents one type of parent caught up in this. But not all.

She certainly solidified for me why there was such an effort made to oust Dr Kenneth Zucker as a central figure in the treatment/support for parents of gender non-conforming/ gender dysphoric children. That was a key target that had to be taken out in order for others to grab the reins.

It was uncomfortable. I believe she is telling the truth as she sees it. I do believe an entire cottage industry has developed with financial and status related self interest in keeping malleable parents like her on board. I do think her story might prove a tipping point for others in the same group who have been suppressing doubts. But my gut says to some extent her account is crafted to keep her self image as a Good Person and Good Parent intact.

With any luck this one will get a lot of attention and turn some with similar personalities steering clear of the on ramp. Or, if already on the road, assured there is a still a tribe waiting to welcome them if they steer towards the off ramp. Particularly those who will only swerve if their “good” self image isn’t required as a sacrifice for the sake of the children’s long term well being.

I feel the same way, it was a hard watch.

She just came across like someone who follows a religion without questioning anything because if the religion decrees it, it must be right and true.

It sounds bad but I have a hard time sympathising with her for going along with it in the first place.
Why on earth would any parent believe a small child when they say they're the opposite sex?
Why did it take her second child doing the same thing to have an epiphany?
I just don't get it at all.

The interview was with a woman called Rose who is the author of pitt.substack.com/p/true-believer.

A fascinating watch. The two hosts were often a loss at what to say.

I've just finished. I'm glad she said it was like a cult. Because I've felt like that about this for a long time.

I'm not religious at all. I'm not particularly kind. And I'm not prone to falling for claptrap either so whilst I can sort of understand how once your in its hard to get out. I really don't understand how they fall for it in the first place. Even at the start why don't their brains go this is rubbish!

I'm not surprised at how all the paid professionals involved tried to keep her on message! but things like teachers what are they thinking?

She is skilled in masking and copying language.

She is hard of thinking.

I'm very happy for her sons and I'm happy she's speaking out.

I'm pretty sure I'm from a similar region in the US as she is and I recognize some familiar speech patterns and phrasing. I know they anonymized her voice, so I could be off. But I'd strongly suspect she grew up w/ a protestant, not evangelical, religion. I hear it in the 'laying down the burden' and the pastor -style of her cadence...it all of it shows how it's easier for some people to accept what the in-group tells you, what the institution tells you to believe if you want to keep your membership and be a 'good student' of the group. I suspect she replaced one belief system with another. I can easily imagine how she went from church Youth Group to atheism to anti-racism to gender woo and now attachment parenting. Sadly, combatting racism is a laudable pursuit, so it's not surprising that gender ideology latches on to social justice movements. At least w/ attachment parenting, it doesn't have the dangers to children like gender ideology does.

I wish the best for her, her wife and their boys. It's good the wakeup call came before they were teens!

As yet, I have only watched half and felt very uncomfortable but not for the reasons I expected. I can't put my finger on it but the guest came across as quite disingenuous, somehow, and I didn't get the sense of genuine remorse. It may have been because she was parroting shallow sound bites.

I think I know where you're coming from. It's possible when listening to her speak is that she was committed to gender identity ideology, and then moved across to be committed to its opposite. Is this just another cause she's picked up? Something where, again, she gets a buzz of feeling virtuous from knowing better than others?

I'm really not sure what to think.

When she suggested the audience look into her latest specialist interest, I thought no way. This woman would do better learning critical thinking skills and not reciting others.

..'sounds bad but I have a hard time sympathising with her for going along with it in the first place.
Why on earth would any parent believe a small child when they say they're the opposite sex?'

Completely agree with you. They seem to know nothing about typical child development, and how normal it is for young children to want to try on new identities. They seem to be incapable of holding onto reality for their children.

I thought some of the language she used was very telling and very accurate though - 'cult', 'sacred belief' - but also said bizarre things about needing to reach out to professionals when her little boy said he was a girl. Any sane parent would either nod and smile, or would try to find out more about what the child meant. Absolutely no need for professionals

I might be wrong but i think in America there is much more quick reaction to seek professionals for kids things. I am on a face book group for parents of kids who stammer. I didnt realise it was American, and you get moms posting 'my preschooler stammered for the first time yesterday and today, how do I find a speech therapist' and that's not an exaggeration. Their first thought was join a fb group and find a professional. Bizarre. So it's not that far of astretch to think they might do the same if their kid said they were the opposite sex.

'I might be wrong but i think in America there is much more quick reaction to seek professionals for kids things'

That's interesting, hadn't thought of that

She just did a follow-up blog post to this:

pitt.substack.com/p/a-return-to-reality

Also… the laughing.

I still beat myself up for homeschooling my (educated, far from being a NEET, but at the same time a hell of a lot less confident socially than I think he would have been, had he stayed in a typical school setting) 20 something kid.

I might give the odd self depreciating laugh if talking about it at length. But, when talking about how your choices (including who you chose to listen to, take advice from) negatively impacted part of your child’s development…. personally I don’t usually chuckle that much.

I don’t invest as much energy (as I think she does) in shield myself from judgment, no need, no external critic is going to be louder or more cutting that the one living in my head. I mean I get wanting to put forward a defence, or giving context. But without a more self critical edge, it sort of came across as synthetic, pre-package and self-serving.

I hold up my hands that I might be projecting, we are not all the same, but the clanging bells of the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth weren’t there for me.

And I suspect her partner did most of the heavy lifting of questioning and resisting the doctrine on the little boy’s behalf. Until a crunch point came and the mum who was interviewed jumped straight from one Good Idea bus to another.

The comments are… interesting

I'm not surprised if liberal/leftwing/progressive people in the US shy away from anything that questions childhood transition, when so many of the loudest voices against it on US-dominated sites seem to be extreme social conservatives and conspiracy theorists, among other things.

Yes, I made the mistake of reading some of the comments (I never learn). Some real nutty conspiracy theory among them.

I've still got about 5 minutes of it left to listen to and i just want to give the woman a good shake tbh!
If ever there was a case that illustrated munchies, this could probably be it, imo.
Even in the interview, she seems far too jolly, as if she's enjoying this whole new load of attention, just like she enjoyed the attention when first transing her child/ren. Ordinarily, i'd say that social services should have been involved from day 1 but as we all know, they're just as likely to be all full on hype train! So sadly, the odds were well and truly stacked against that kid. Whereas what should have happened was a 2 or 3 sentence conversation...

Boy: Mum, i'm a girl.

Mum: No you're not, you're a boy!

Boy: Oh, ok, can i have a drink and a biscuit before i go back out to play?

That's what should have happened!
Grrrrrrrrrr! I can feel ' the rage ' building!

JarByTheDoor you are absolutely spot on with that observation!

It must be like finally getting the courage to come out and say that unlike all your friends and relatives you really don't agree with the death penalty, only to be instantly surrounded by swarms of axe murderers clapping you on the back and telling you how right you are.

”Why on earth would any parent believe a small child when they say they're the opposite sex?”

This is what I find so bizarre. My sister has a friend who has transitioned their (male) child and she told me, in all seriousness, that he’d been a classic case, wanting to be in the girl’s queue when he went to nursery at three and loving dressing up in “princess clothes”.

I’m not particularly close to my sister and didn’t challenge her, but I found myself wondering why, at three years old, wouldn’t everyone just explain reality to him about the queue and reassure him that he could wear whatever he liked. I was shocked my sister had bought into it and wanted to ask what she thought would happen when he hit puberty, if he had been using girl’s spaces all that time.

I feel like, to join in with transitioning such a child, rather than gently continuing to explain reality and reassure, is just so thoroughly illogical that I can’t imagine ever going along with it.

I had to wonder whether they were so distressed that their boy liked things they thought he shouldn’t, that it was easier to go along with the “trans” narrative when it was offered, but I still can’t imagine how they can do it without thinking ahead a few years and what will happen when it’s no longer possible for their boy to pretend he’s a girl.

Thanks for the link, OP.

Have you considered that your child is naturally than way? Not everyone has an outgoing personality. If he is shy and reserved he could have had a tough time with bullying.

I have four children and I have a child than just really needs a lot more of me. I don't think going to school will help that.

These attention seeking parents go to great lengths for 'professional' diagnosis about whatever they want to label their children with not just gender woo.