Illuminating and disturbing view from a psychologist

[beastlyslumber]

meghanmurphy.substack.com/p/how-do-you-become-a-psychopath-jon#details

Wondered if anyone else has listened to this? I thought his comments about the seriousness and significance of pornography were spot on and something that should be brought up more often.

This is such a childish comment I'm not sure it warrants any kind of response. But if anyone wonders about me, I've been Beastly on here for quite some time now and it's very easy to look up my posting history.

@beastlyslumber admit it OP your shagging the guy in the recording, your his agent and you are pregnant with his third child

Do people really not understand that if you vehemently tell someone not to watch a podcast because reasons, they are inadvertently adding something to the guy's credibility rather than undermine it?

Ironic really on a thread about psychology.

Yes, very low effort flounce.

For you, Beetz:

It was so bizarre, I assumed the poster didn't know what petulant actually meant.

well some people believe we should just accept a man saying they are a woman with no further critical thought..so...?

Busted. Damn it. Might as well come clean and tell you the other two children are Posie Parker and Glinner.

Cute names! Whose, I mean any baby names picked out?

The abused becoming abusers narrative adds to the stigma of victims and stops them speaking out.

Yes, such an important point.

The victims who speak out know right from wrong it might take them years but they talk. Victims who don’t carry on that cycle of abuse and oppression. Please feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

I think you are wrong about that. Victims of CSA don't become abusers from not talking about the abuse they experienced. I've never heard anything to suggest that would be the case. What makes you think that @Rollingaroundinmud ?

I've listened to a bit of it. Two things that jar with me are "men are designed to be chivalrous" and the "good people like us" bit.

I'd have to ask are men - or women - "designed" at all, never mind a late mediaeval code. And my antennae always go up when a person advertises their own goodness.

I'll listen to the rest through my chores but I have nowhere near the knowledge to critically evaluate it but I'll listen.

My experience growing up. He was abused as a child and it was his choices after that affected me when I was a child. He didn’t know right from wrong.

I must admit that the "murmurings of agreement" in the pp's final flounce did amuse me - our low, soft ineffectual women's voices, our inability to handle proper, manly, robust intellectual confrontation. When they show you who they misogynistically are, believe them..

👍

I can easily believe that many abusive adults were neglected as children; or that their development was neglected. Many parents seem to think that children just grow up without needing any input. Neglect can affect us as adults as surely as abuse does.
But I think many experts want to believe we are born as emotional blank slates, and I don't. Humans have an inbuilt personality traits that cause a predisposition to perceive events a certain way; so two people can go through the same event and react to it in very different ways. In an ideal society, responsible adults would help us navigate developmental stages in a more mindful way.

Ok, listened to the whole thing. He varies from what I've previously heard about psychopathy. My understanding was that it stems from one or the other, or a combination of, genetics and environment. He seems to be saying that a "normal" man can degrade to phycopathy via progressive loss of conscience. It's a new one on me and I've no idea of how true it may be.

Porn - I've heard second-hand anecdotal stuff about girls and young women experiencing disturbing behaviour from boys and men that can only have come from internet porn. A guy I worked with took the precaution of talking to his young son about it and warning him that he would likely see stuff that was a perversion of normal sexual relations with women.

I'm not sure that porn will corrupt everyone who views it. I'm old enough to remember the video nasties panic. I thought then, and do so now, that those who were already predisposed to violence would use it to feed their tendencies but on their own would not corrupt a well-balanced adult.

But then again, the sheer intensity and availability that high speed internet gives may shift the balance point.

''He seems to be saying that a "normal" man can degrade to psychopathy via progressive loss of conscience.''

I don't think that would hold true for every man; but then I don't think society has ever had such violent porn so easily available.

I don't think it's talking/not talking about CSA that determines whether a victim becomes an abuser. I do understand that when a child is deeply wounded and can't recover, they build a fantasy self that they hide behind and this is what is known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Such individuals may well go on to abuse others, including their own children, in order to defend their false persona.

All psychopaths and sociopaths are narcissistic, but I don't think they are 'created' in the same way as people with NPD.

I think that Uhler is right that psychopathy is essentially a deviance of the soul and a form of evil. He does use faith-based language and I feel that is a correct language for this. Psychopathy is the lack of conscience and getting pleasure/satisfaction from harming others. It's arguably clear that some people are born like this. I think this next part is a bit confusing, but I'm pretty sure he's also arguing that that men can unleash or develop psychopathy through increasing deviancy, starting with 'normal' porn and then progressing through to more and more evil forms of pornography and abuse. I think he's saying that paedophilia isn't a sexual orientation (I completely agree) but a form of deviancy that men develop through increasing pornography use. And then he's equating paedophilia with psychopathy, so in essence saying a man can become a psychopath through using porn.

I might have to listen again to understand if that's what he's actually arguing. I totally agree with the part about paedophilia being a form of deviance, not a natural variation. And I also agree that harming children is psychopathic behaviour. So I think I probably agree with him, if that's what he's saying.

There was a newspaper article about teen boys wondering why the girls they were having sex with weren't crying. Because violent porn.

And an Italian study where adolescent boys couldn't maintain an erection with their girlfriends because they were so desensitised by porn that regular sex wasn't arousing enough to even get an erection.

He does say that there's hope for men who have been corrupted by porn to sort themselves out, but by the time it gets to the point of actual abuse, most of them don't want to.

He also points out that there are men who step away from porn when they progress to the 'barely legal' category.

I'd also give a heads up here to the #nofap movement which is young men who swear off porn and masturbation because they feel addicted and they don't like the effect it has on their relationships, self esteem and general wellbeing.

I wouldn't tell anyone, male or female that they have to stop wanking but if it's become obsessional then it's not healthy and they probably need a word with themselves.

The wanking isn't the problem - its the connection between sex and violence.