Dr EM article Why woke blokes abuse women

[Mollyollydolly]

Enjoyed this article by Dr EM published by Wings Over Scotland. Some of our ploppers should read it.
wingsoverscotland.com/why-woke-blokes-abuse-women/

This is brilliant. Thank you.
Depressing but sound.

Wow, so good, and so obvious when laid out like that, thank you OP!

🙁

'If his behaviour is questioned, ‘Mr. Always Right attempts to sanitize his bullying by saying: “I have strong opinions” or “I like debating ideas.” This is like a bank robber saying “I’m interested in financial issues.” Mr. Right isn’t interested in debating ideas; he wants to impose his own’. [21]'

'Our job as MPs is to channel passion and anger into considered debate to win arguments - in this case for the Trans community and to defend devolution. I failed to control that passion…'

'Bancroft delineates how ‘when Mr. Right decides to take control of a conversation, he [8] switches into his Voice of Truth, giving the definitive pronouncement on what is the correct answer or the proper outlook. Abuse counsellors call this tactic defining reality. ...

...When a woman continues to assert herself ‘he is likely to escalate to insulting her, calling her names, or mocking her with imitation. If he’s still not satisfied that he has brought her down low enough, he may reach for bigger guns’, such as complaints to her employer, legal threats or threats of violence.'

mobile.twitter.com/OwenJones84/status/1616008459958231040

A passage we can all relate to:

The woke bloke, like the abuser behind closed doors, is seeking to control women and feels that it is his right to control others. Thus, he expects to have the last word and believes he is [6] justified in punishing those who would challenge him.

As Bancroft outlines, ‘the abuser gives himself permission to take action on the basis of his beliefs’ and ‘a large part of his abusiveness comes in the form of punishments used to retaliate against you for resisting his control’. [17]

This control is often ‘exercised through wearing the woman down with constant low-level complaints, rather than through yelling or barking orders. The abuser may repeatedly make negative comments’.[18]

It is through chronic mistreatment, which in an online setting takes the form of a pile-on or the frequent messaging that ‘terfs’/transphobes are scum etc, that the victim begins to doubt herself and her confidence is impinged. The domestic abuser will physically isolate his victim through getting her to cut ties with friends and family, controlling who she speaks to, controlling when and why she leaves the home, and often moving her to a different location.

Online, this is what is happening with, for example, the periodic attempts by men to shutdown Mumsnet. Controlling men hate that there is a space where women can talk to each other and offer support to each other. Nothing poses a more direct threat to their control and manipulation than women speaking to each other. The sisterly support can clear the fog of male abuse so that the woman recognise it for what it is.

That MP, whose name I can't be arsed remembering, his non apology, I recognise that language, that tone from the non apology his aide (fascist baby) gave.

Who do you reckon LOJ was so angry at? This space is about the rights of women and children. He can fuck of with that anti-trans shite, unless he's prepared to admit he's anti-women's rights.

Bancroft’s work, sometimes criticised for being too inclusive and easily applied to any man,

woah - I think anyone making that criticism is telling on themselves. I actually read it during a phase about 2 years into my relationship when we were arguing a lot and I was starting to wonder if the foundations were wobbly - but I could not see my partner in any of his portraits. I was quite ready to!

Controlling men hate that there is a space where women can talk to each other and offer support to each other. Nothing poses a more direct threat to their control and manipulation than women speaking to each other. The sisterly support can clear the fog of male abuse so that the woman recognise it for what it is.

now doesn't that explain a lot?

Inspired by this brilliant but grim piece, can I be wildly and insanely optimistic for a moment?

If we are seeing the patterns and behaviours of domestic abuse shift from the private, individual sphere to the public collective sphere, does that also mean that the abusers are effectively doing feminist consciousness raising? A lot of us have had feminist awakenings thanks to the trans rights movement. A lot of us have developed a much deeper understanding of misogyny and the ways in which it operates. Why, only today LRM, and Rosie Duffield jointly have helped raise public awareness of abusive male behaviours another notch.

Men have always oppressed women by preventing us from speaking about what happens to us. But now it's not just happening to us individually. It's happening to us collectively, and it can't be hidden by shaming women out of speaking. They're showing everyone the man behind the curtain; they're making the actual mechanisms of female oppression and the logic of male entitlement more and more explicit. If this doesn't end in a Woke Taliban, maybe it will end in a feminism that can't be shamed into retreat in the next generation.

or maybe I'm high on unicorn juice or something.

Reminds me Robin Moira White is on GB News on Sunday on Free Speech Nation, just in case Robin forgets to drop by to tell us.

Dr Em article sums up Moyle neatly.

I'm going to have to re-read that as it explains much, but not enough. While sorting out old files, I came across a piece I'd written following David Attenborough talking about orca, and it was puzzling. People who study such animals were puzzled when they discovered that female orca have a menopause. Like us. It raised the question of why we have one, why adult human females go on living well past their use by date, while initially seeing humans as the default for this feature. We aren't, though. The grandmother hypothesis, in which the matriarch holds the vital knowledge for the survival of the clan, works well with orca, and some other cetaceans, and possibly Asian elephants. African elephants have knowledgable matriarchs, but without the advantage f the menopause. Elephants may have a common ancestor with orca, narwhals and beluga. Not with us. Only a few individual chimps share menopause with us. It isn't a primate thing.
But what has happened with us? Not respect for the holders of survival knowledge. Old women are disrespected publically. Societies have risen up to eliminate them and their knowledge - see witch hunts, carried out to enable male doctors to take their place under some interpretations. To be fair, societies have also organised themselves to eliminate intelligent men from the gene pool, by monasticism and castration of bureaucrats. Dominant human males have a lot to answer for.
We should be imitating the orca, and not allowing male destruction of what we have left - and they are rather showing what they are about by trying to stop us talking together. When it comes to the menopause, it turns out we are the outlier, not the default, and we are doing it wrong.

Lerner and Loewe riffing on Shaw

"Women are irrational, that's all there is to that
Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating
Vacillating, calculating, agitating
Maddening and infuriating hags"

Definitely out of the abusers' book

Controlling men hate that there is a space where women can talk to each other and offer support to each other. Nothing poses a more direct threat to their control and manipulation than women speaking to each other. The sisterly support can clear the fog of male abuse so that the woman recognise it for what it is.

I soon learned not to mention MN to my then husband. ^ This paragraph articulates exactly why.

@TastefulRainbowUnicorn a few days late but thanks for that post. It's set a few things off in my brain to ponder!

I didn't much consider feminism to be relevant to me until this board found me and dragged me in. One of my workmates greeted me this morning with "much TERFing this weekend?"