Just some musings on my part, I've been watching videos after , plus heard the FILIA podcast on pornography a few weeks ago and their sex buyers one this week. There does appear to be a link between porn use and wanting to 'become a woman' - along with other kinks. Its the men wanting to feel objectified and submissive, which thanks to porn to them says WOMAN, you want to be a WOMAN, we are just "expectant ass-holes and blank blank eyes" after all (thanks for that one Andrea Long-Chu)
I'm feeling like either I'm a total dinosaur and this 'society is going to hell in a handcart' feeling comes across everyone when they reach a certain age OR Mary Whitehouse was right all along (about porn "the dirty face of capitalism") and as a society we've been gradually gr**med over the last 50 years regarding sex positivity. I would have said I was open minded when I was younger, open to trying different things, but actually it was all pretty 'vanilla', I had fantasies about trying other things but I'm pretty glad I didn't now as I'm not sure where that would have led me.
I grew up in a house where sex wasn't talked about, bodies weren't seen, I had no support around starting my periods and pretty much zero emotional support - no talk about feelings. I had low self esteem so sought validation through casual sex, some good, some rubbish. I also did stripping for a bit, and definitely found that acting sexual made me feel more sexual.
I want my children to feel comfortable in their bodies and comfortable with sex, respectful of any future partners they have. First book I looked at for my just turned 13 year old was 'sex positive' and started going on about gender identities so I won't be buying that.
I feel like as a society we've gone so far in an effort to through off sexual repression that we've lost sight of the value of relationships. Sex-positive seems to be all about kink not just feeling comfortable and learning to enjoy your body. Twitter thread about banning pornography by Meghan Murphy, lots of women pro-porn and disagreeing with her on her thread and others. I think there definitely needs to be much much tighter restrictions around what porn is available and to whom.
Had a chat with my late 80s MIL today, wondered if she felt worried about society at any previous point, but actually she was only in her 20s in the 1960s and busy having children, so probably too busy to notice any sexual revolution. Clearly Mary Whitehouse was worried back then though.
I'd love to hear other women's thoughts on where we're at now in terms of society, sex, sex education and any books for teens that encourage respectful, loving sex and discuss the implications of porn use in a child friendly way. I have talked about porn with my son, he definitely hasn't seen it yet, but it's only a matter of time (hormones haven't kicked in yet, he's still visibly a child!).