Ecuadoran man changes legal sex in bid to gain custody of his kids

[ReeseWitherfork]

This is really interesting. (Sorry if there’s already a thread about this; did look and couldn’t find.)

www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/01/ecuadoran-man-changes-legal-sex-bid-gain-custody-kids/

Looks like the change was quite simple, he went to the registry office. This is one of the big issues with self ID, and it’s not even about trans people, it’s just about people abusing the system. Although the evidence in this situation would suggest this guy has honourable intentions and not nefarious ones; doesn’t mean that’ll be the same for the next guy who does it.

(Shame it sounds like Ecuador has such sexist laws about custody battles but I don’t know enough about that to add any real comment.)

I don't know about "honourable intentions"... what he is saying about courts favouring mothers over fathers and men being discriminated against sounds very MRA/meninist type stuff. What he hasn't perhaps appreciated is that just being legally able to call yourself the "mother" of your children doesn't mean that he has fulfilled any of the content of the role of the primary carer for his children.

As for the self-id angle, I cannot fathom how anyone who supports this kind of legislation could consider gatekeeping it for people whose intentions they disapprove of. These kinds of laws are being demanded to precisely remove gatekeeping from the process of legally changing "gender"! That's the whole point.

“This man’s private matter, to obtain custody of his daughters, isn’t the spirit of the law,”

I wonder what other ways of using the new law wouldn’t be in its “spirit,” but are legal in Ecuador nevertheless?!

There’s one universal ‘law’ people like this always wilfully ignore, at first, when rushing to pass their legislation; the ‘law’ of unintended consequences.

I don't know about "honourable intentions"... what he is saying about courts favouring mothers over fathers and men being discriminated against sounds very MRA/meninist type stuff.

Yes, potentially something I’d overlooked.

To be fair, some countries do have a specific preference/bias for the female parent (rather than the main caregiver) getting custody if there is a split. This tends to be the case in countries where there are very very strong gendered expectations about women and men's roles in the family (so women should be the ones doing the bulk of the parenting, the idea of a man choosing to do help is odd/unlikely and therefore not considered much in law). E.g. Japan.

I think a system that favours the primary caregiver is better personally - however in practice even in the UK that is usually the woman - so you still have an apparent bias that MRA's would complain about (but note their aren't many of them suggesting men sacrifice careers for their wives prior to splitting. Because deep down they know that carries its own disadvantages). I don't know whether Ecuador fits into the first category or the second.

• There not their.

A cursory glance at some Ecuador divorce info shows that the rights are primarily given to the mother if the couple cannot agree on a split, so he is possibly just stating a fact rather than being an MRA as we see in the UK.

I guess I'm torn, because on one hand if a law is sexist why not campaign to get it changed, thats what women have had to do for generations after all

On the other hand if his wife is genuinely abusive then I understand his need to do something to get them out if there without waiting for slow legislation change that might never come.

I guess I'm never going to have a good intellectual opinion on this because my mother was abusive and my father didn't make a single effort to get me out of there, so an emotional, illogical part of my brain/heart supports a father who does.

But I am interested to hear the views of posters on this board who are more articulate and intelligent than me because it's an interesting situation.

Well, a quick search does reveal that under Article 106 of the Childhood and Adolescence code in Ecuador, the mother is assumed to be given custody of children under 12, unless they are deemed unsuitable for various reasons. So yes, the law is sexist and the fight should be to change that to be the primary carer and an assumption of a 50/50 split in the absence of any other issues.

But, this is definitely an example of the consequences of these laws that deliberately don't have any definition of what a gender identity is. It suits this man to be declared legally female, so that's what he's done. Complaining about your own stupid law is, well, stupid...

if a law is sexist why not campaign to get it changed, thats what women have had to do for generations after all

You’re absolutely right but if this is simpler then why would you bother.

If this is as the media is reporting it (multiple sources) then it’s hard to have anything negative to say about this man. He’s doing what he needs to.

Its interesting to have such a left field example of “people will abuse self ID”.

I have learned (largely from looking at some of the interactions on these boards+) to avoid guilt by association. So yes, it is absolutely thing for a particular type of MRA to talk about "mothers having more rights than fathers" (and they take all the man's hard earned money, female hypergamy etc etc.) However, that doesn't mean that someone in Ecuador who is fighting for custody in a system that genuinely does explicitly favour the mother and wanting to talk about that is the same.
To be honest (and speaking as a mother not a father) if my children were in an abusive situation then my priority would be to find the most likely to succeed way to get them out and do that. Changing the law would be much lower priority. Maybe that's selfish but parents are when it comes to their children.
But genuine or not, the whole thing makes a mockery of both the custody law and the gender identity laws

+The types who say that woman = Adult Human Female is a right wing dog whistle because Matt Walsh says it, therefore anyone else who says that is by default a fascist

He’s (and only his side reported) not seen his kids for five months.

And if he’s gone to the trouble of changing his official documents, particularly in such a conservative, still overwhelmingly Catholic, country then it might be safe to assume he’s exhausted the other legal routes / options open to him.

Either way, it’s a good example of why legislation needs to be properly considered and not just drafted up on the back of a fag packet, then nodded through on the basis that it’s the (be) ‘kind’ thing to do.

It's a great way to get the conversation started about changing the law.
Best of luck to him.

He’s doing this because Ecuadorian mums don’t just get custody they get the right to live in the family home until the last child turns 18, and also get the right to alimony too. A little digging in local papers seems to show that the guy left his wife for another woman (alledged by a neighbour) and has tried to throw her out of the house several times before changing sex. Some say he’s involved in an anti-gay, anti-trans group that seeks to use this to change the law. AnEcuadorian gov official has already said they won’t consider self-reported sex in any custody case.

Almost like someone’s trying to dodge alimony 🤔