FWR New Year Resolutions

[Appletreefarmyard]

Happy New FWR Year everyone. I thought a thread for sharing resolutions might be interesting.

I'm going to take a strong and proactive stance to stamp out false allegations of transphobia. I am a senior manager in an organisation/ sector that attracts well intentioned people who consider themselves to be social justice warriors. Whilst I doubt that I can get them to embrace false allegations as a social justice issue in itself (which it is), I will be able to ensure that disciplinary action is taken for wrongly accusing people or suggesting behaviour that isn't transphobic is. I think this will have a positive impact in encouraging others to engage in critical thinking about what does/doesn't constitute discrimination and intolerance.

I am also going to use my influence to ensure that no-one feels uncomfortable about pronoun related behaviour within the organisation. This means that people should feel equally comfortable stating or not stating their preferred pronouns. If/ when invited to share pronouns, this invitation must be accompanied with a reassurance that there is no requirement or expectation to share/state them and no judgment doing or not doing so.

I really want the organisation to be able to employ and retain the best people we can to deliver our mission. I want all employees to be able to do their jobs and feel comfortable at work whilst doing so. If/where this requires adjustments, so long as those adjustments are reasonable, we can/should/will make them. Where they aren't reasonable, we won't.

It's time to reclaim 'reasonable'....I guess this is my resolution. I am looking forward to the discussions about this, with the backdrop that going so isn't transphobic!

I will continue to not shut up

Good luck OP.

I also work at a third sector ‘social justice’ organisation. I am grateful to our CEO and director who do not display pronouns for setting the example that it is ok not to do so. Most other members of the leadership team do.

I hope your organisation has a similar mix in the leadership team.

My resolution is to keep speaking up where I can.

Third sector here too.

The CEO is an immensely intelligent women who knows what is going on. She is very savvy and is playing a very straight game, invisibly holding the line without drawing any attention to the issues. I think as CEO, this is the best way to play it.

We have a small exec team and we have a couple of people who are disinterested, a couple who are into critical theory explanations for everything and me. I think my role is to push back on all the 'queering' stuff through enabling reflective discussion. I am confident the CEO and agnostics won't be swayed. I'm interested as to whether the social justice activists will be.

Great idea :) I had a go at starting a thread on this yesterday, but was probably not well time. My opening gambit -

New Year's Eve and thinking about personal resolutions. To quote a wise woman (guess who):

But accusations of TERFery have been sufficient to intimidate many people, institutions and organisations I once admired, who’re cowering before the tactics of the playground. ‘They’ll call us transphobic!’ ‘They’ll say I hate trans people!’ What next, they’ll say you’ve got fleas?

So in 2023 I resolve not to let others determine the language I need to use to express myself clearly. I am confident in the nature of my character that I will not deliberately try to hurt anybody just going about their business, but I won't any longer be coerced into a choice between telling untruth or remaining silent in my every day life.

That sounds very do-able and worthwhile Joody.

I had some recent success when discussing PE changing rooms with key stakeholders. At the point I got involved, the argument was very heated. I suggested we took a step back and thought about the purpose of having different changing areas - to clarify what was important about this, against which all possible solutions could be measured. I had to work really hard to get everyone to engage in this, there was a lot of resistance from some - they said that they knew that doing this would mean the trans pupils would be discriminated against. I said that everyone was wanting the same thing - to find solutions that would support everyone, and that we needed to properly understand everyone's needs in order to achieve this. Some people did leave the room at this point, which led others feeling uncomfortable in continuing - saying that we could not find a solution without 'trans-representation' in the solution finding. I said that we were at the exploratory stage and not decision making and so should continue. I won't go on with a blow by blow account, but you can see how much work it took to keep moving forward.

In the end, we established that the purpose of segregated changing areas was for privacy, dignity and safety and sexed bodies were the driver. We agreed that single sex areas were important. We also agreed that some students, who had issues with their natal sex, would not be afforded privacy, dignity and safety through accessing changing areas for their natal sex, so alternative provision was put in place.

It was recognised that this wasn't the preferred option for everyone, but it was an option that met the objectives of the purpose of segregation. The majority agreed that the whole purpose of single sex changing areas was exclusionary - it deliberately isn't inclusive practice. I think this is sad/difficult for the students who desperately want to be included, but it was necessary

Fantastic news. To continue on this:

Florida school blocked transgender [female] student using boys bathrooms wins federal appeal.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11589615/Florida-school-blocked-transgender-student-using-boys-bathroom-wins-federal-appeal.html

I'm not in favour of forcing young people to use single sex facilities that leads them to feel distressed. I am also not in favour of letting people use whichever facility they choose - when the facility is single sex for a good reason (sex should determine access, not identity). I think a reasonable solution is to have single sex facilities (based on natal sex) and then a suitable solution for those who would experience distress from having to use facilities based on their sex

It is the perfect solution yes. I am quite in favour of M, F, and Unisex spaces. It should solve the problem. As you say the purpose of single sex spaces IS exclusionary. Much like the argument made recently by the body controlling boxing - sometimes fairness and equality are in conflict.

OP that all sounds like such great work you're doing. Thank you.

My NY resolution ...

To support women to stick up for themselves, speak truth, be honest, and trust themselves.

Not quite sure what form that will take yet.

Sounds great Arabella. Hopefully, eventually, no one will need to 'stick up for' others making reasonable and considered points. We just all need to keep gently pointing out that there really is no hatred!

I've been reflecting on this.

I think mine is to be very clear I will not participate in any non reciprocal interactions, relationships or expectations. Unless there is equal respect, equal care, equal consideration and values involved, the answer is no.

And that means I need to be more alert to tactics such as hoovering and blarney and other means of manipulation. And to get better at a polite, cheerful and absolutely unequivocal, 'no'.

I'm going to try my best to not get up in arms about other women's strategies to fight for women's rights. I've not always been successful at this, but I don't want to contribute any more to in-fighting. I am not sure if I will always catch myself, but my aim is to engage with the positive and try as neutrally as possible to explain why I disagree or where I can provide insight. Of course, woman can and should debate civilly, but sometimes we get into spiraling bunfights and snarky remarks. I want to work on my own responses and if that means responding a day late to a thread rather than a knee-jerk defense, I aim to do that. This isn't about #bekind to trolls or TRAs, it's about being productive with other feminists.

Women supporting women is my guidepost.