Roller derby

[Annaissleeping]

I have had a really difficult couple of months recovering from some surgery and then the end of a relationship. I used to love roller skating (I'm talking 15 years ago as a child) and I have been trying to find things to do in the new year that will inject some joy into my life. A friend recommended roller derby and a local group have a beginners course starting in January. It looks absolutely brilliant - I know I'd love it and it would be a great distraction from all the sadness I've experienced lately. But women's roller derby in this country and the course I found seem to be open to women and anyone identifying as female. I'm not naturally brave about the idea of contact sports but think crashing into other female roller skaters would likely be fine. The idea of taking any chance of playing with men is too intimidating. I won't be joining up. Even if I did turn up and it was genuinely all female, the forcefulness with which the group insist on being 'inclusive' makes me know I'd feel on edge because I'd have to watch everything I said.

There are so many bigger and more serious ways this ideology has affected me and other women but these kinds of things matter too, don't they? I'm actively avoiding something I'd love and that would be good for me socially and physically and that's a loss. I am so bitterly frustrated and sad tonight. I got my hopes up when I first looked at the website and imagined trying this sport in 3 weeks time. I'll find something else but it won't be roller skating.

My friend plays Derby in a mixed sex team and there are safeguards in place for mixed playing that recognises the differences, I think there is some sort of tapping pre contact or a different rule level or something. You can also do all the training and be a referee, you have options, and hopefully will just wait it out for a few years until it's female only again.

You should still do it, just find a way that works for you, you definitely shouldn't exclude yourself if there's only theoretical men playing, you don't actually know there's a TW on the team. If you turn up to a bout against a team with men, you can not play then, but you'll at least have friends in the team by then, so you'll be able to talk to people and discretely step down, maybe making them think.

I think you should consider if this is just a practical issue for ou, or if you are bothered by it ideologically. Roller Derbery is extremely woke, for want of a better word, and in general GC views would not be considered acceptable.

Agh, sorry for the typos above!

Just do it :-) if a trans woman turns up, deal with it then but it might never happen so so enjoy the opportunity x

self exclusion is a real issue and makes women's lives more difficult and limited.

If you love roller skating but feel iffy about contact sports, regardless of potentially being mixed sex. Why not take up artistic skating or jam/shuffle skating instead? Skating is very in right now and there are plenty of non derby groups.

I'll have a look for non derby groups, thank you.

I think realistically, even if a transwoman never joined, I just can't stomach the idea of making friends with a group of people and then sitting having a drink with them months down the line where gender ideology comes up and it turns out I'm at odds with pretty much everyone there. That would be extremely stressful. So I'm going to leave roller derby for now. I'd rather take the time to make more real life GC friends, I think.