Respectful GC resources for teenage DS

[Balaya]

My DS14 has ASD and has always been rather gender non-confirming, very nearly falling into the clutches of Mermaids. He is also very nice and kind to people and will always side with the oppressed minority.

He is a 'he' but if asked pronouns (bloody school) makes a huge song and dance over 'he/she/whatever/I-don't-mind' . I have pretty much managed to stop this by telling him about the sorts of men who just say that to get into women's loos/changing rooms to spy on them.

So today he wants to tell me that TWAW. After a discussion we agreed that no one can change their biological sex but he still believed that TW should be treated as W.

I managed to get him to agree that it's unfair for TW to compete against women in sport, and therefore TWANW. But he was willing to make an exception.

So I reluctantly went with TW in women's prisons as I thought this would be quite clear cut but he did try to argue exceptions (no bad TW allowed in W prisons) although eventually agreed. And he thought there should be 3rd spaces for trans 😊

We left it there but I'd really like to point him at some appropriate and respectful GC material to keep it ticking over in his mind. Any suggestions? Thank you.

This is a brilliant approach. Her podcast is excellent, too.

Ross Tucker is good on sport.

Thanks for that - hadn’t seen it before.

Great! Thanks Arabella
I've saved this post now so I can refer back for instructions.
(Thanks MHHQ for the new, handy save post option)
**

You're welcome, DameMaud. You can also use 'archive.org', but they have a history of vanishing pages so I'm less trusting of them these days.

Not even sorry but you're being horrifically enbyphobic towards your own child.
Do you know the kind of psychological damage you're doing to your child right now by forcing them to deny who they are?
People will fancy and date who they fancy.
People will also explore their gender identity and identify as they want to.
The choice is here whether you want to be in their lives during this journey or not.
Your child will find their own way, with or without you. Without you would take longer but they'll get there eventually and possibly needing more counselling after.
If you want to be a good parent, you need to accept they're on a journey and give yourself some lqbtqia+ training and be a supportive ally for your child, before you lose them for good.

*Not even sorry but you're being horrifically enbyphobic towards your own child.

Do you know the kind of psychological damage you're doing to your child right now by forcing them to deny who they are?*

Damned if I can tell who’s joking and who is genuinely giving heartfelt advice here.

Autistic children are vulnerable to all sorts of misjudgments and earnest, naive misinterpretations of the world. They do need nice plain advice, and the OP is doing her best to provide it.

@WSussexBelle You are talking bobbins.

OP is being a good parent, who appears to accept and celebrate their child as is but is rejecting an ideology that is disproportionately harmful to women and gender non conforming boys, which OP has said her DC is.

That's grade A+ parenting and safeguarding to my mind.

You however have just spouted off a lot of ill informed and harmful propaganda while simultaneously insulting the OP.

lqbtqia+

Please would someone tell me the meanings of these letters and also what is in the + ?

Basic biology as in that Twitter thread posted earlier is such good grounding and protection against confusion.

L- lesbian
G- gay. PP accidentally transposed for q
B- bisexual
T- trans
Q- queer
I- intersex
A- a-sexuals
+- Nonbinaries?

The I don't want dragged into the gender ideology arguments and it's not a sexuality.

The Q word seems to have been dusted off to the horror of the older gay communities who remember it being used as a slur against them and all the associations it holds. Some people are using as a term for homosexuality in a kind of reclaim the word way I think? However, queer seems to have also become an umbrella term for anyone who has a kink, paraphilia or wants to feel a bit special basically.

I don't understand why a lot of the letters+ have been added to the LGB in all honesty. The A maybe, I don't really know. The rest aren't sexualities or at least in the Q aren't always about sexualities.

I've heard of younger lesbians and gay men calling themselves queer for example.

Sorry about the flood of posts but this thread has a useful link kind of relevant for my last posts www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4694322-article-we-need-to-talk-about-woke-homophobia?reply=122159711

www.spiked-online.com/2022/12/07/we-need-to-talk-about-woke-homophobia/

I agree with others that talking about violence against women and girls in general is a good way in. Don't sit down and lecture but passing comments on news articles etc. The differences between women and girls in this country and say in the middle east. Is it true Saudi Arabia still don't count women in the census? Can a girl in Afghanistan say she is a boy and be allowed to get an education.
Also your own experiences, where you have felt unsafe, vulnerable it had a lucky escape.

In terms of sport the history of women's sport. The woman who was rugby tackled for daring to run in the Boston marathon.
This was only 1967. Women not being allowed a mortgage, or having to leave their job once married. There is so much history to learn from and drip feed!

Thanks to the poster reminding me I need to buy some copies of Phoebe's book sex and gender.

What about the Transgender Trend website they point to a lot of resources

Partofthefurniture · Today 22:30

“ScrollingLeaves · Today 22:08
lqbtqia+

Please would someone tell me the meanings of these letters and also what is in the + ?

Basic biology as in that Twitter thread posted earlier is such good grounding and protection against confusion.”

L- lesbian
G- gay. PP accidentally transposed for q
B- bisexual
T- trans
Q- queer
I- intersex
A- a-sexuals
+- Nonbinaries?

The I don't want dragged into the gender ideology arguments and it's not a sexuality

The Q word seems to have been dusted off to the horror of the older gay communities who remember it being used as a slur against them and all the associations it holds. Some people are using as a term for homosexuality in a kind of reclaim the word way I think? However, queer seems to have also become an umbrella term for anyone who has a kink, paraphilia or wants to feel a bit special basically.

I don't understand why a lot of the letters+ have been added to the LGB in all honesty. The A maybe, I don't really know. The rest aren't sexualities or at least in the Q aren't always about sexualities.

Thank you. Partofthefurniture, I was particularly confused by the extra q.
Is Intersex someone with a rare DSD? Or an identity?

Yes it's a term for DSD.

People have also asked not to be referred to as intersex because it's not the correct term anymore, it's confusing and offensive to people with DSDs as far as I understand it.

I really wish mumsnet had an edit function.

Q can also stand for questioning.
A can also stand for ally.
So basically it means most people!
Best to separate the LGB from the rest. LGB is sexual orientation. The i shouldn't be in there as it described about 40 unique medical conditions.

The rest is all personality!