My first direct example

[IamAporcupine]

I have been reading this forum and listened to podcasts and interiews for years now, but today I heard of the very first direct example of a young lesbian that is now a transman.

I reconnected with a very old friend of mine, from my home country. He told me about his sister and her MH issues, her coming out as a lesbian and how a few years later she started hormones and then surgery. How it was impossible to discuss any of it, and how everyone with a slightly opposed view was vilified.
He says he has lost a cool sister, and now has an extreme TRA militant.

I must admit I am in shock, and it really upset me. It's like a part of me unconsciously wanted to think that MN and SM were a bit of a bubble, and that 'this was not really happening everywhere'. But no.

My heart goes out to all of you who are going through this with your family or friends .

Sadly, as a secondary school teacher, I am aware of about twice as many “trans” and “non-binary” natal females than I am those who identify as lesbians.

Though I do admit, that may well be because the lesbians just get on with privately being lesbian…

It is not one trans person existing. It is the strong similarities with all the other stories that I've heard before. But I am sure you know that.

But you could be right, maybe this one story somehow proves that it is not happening at all, and that this young transman's family were just a bunch of right wing bigots?

This

Is your problem the word 'everywhere'?

Technically it’s probably not everywhere.

It’s largely English speaking countries and western and Northern Europe.

I'd ignore the silly remarks, OP.

It is a shock when you see evidence of this in real life, and when people you know and love are affected. It will eventually run its course and become yesterday's news, and kids will move onto the next thing. But an awful lot of people will get hurt before then.

Although I've encountered some trans people through work and via friends of friends, my personal jolt came this summer, seeing a young woman at a festival. She was dancing with a friend, wearing a loose unbuttoned shirt, which made me smile -- thinking she's a woman and proud of it. But instead of carefreely baring her breasts, she was showing two vivid scars. I could have wept.

I know, it was probably a bad choice of word.

Having said that, this was not in an English speaking country nor in Europe...

It’s largely English speaking countries and western and Northern Europe

It's spreading rapidly, unfortunately.

Nearly all my friends in Ireland now have a transman in the family.

Op I understand what you mean. I didn't really believe it was as prevalent as mn seemed to say until my daughters went to secondary school. Where the population of trans identifying students appears to be ten to twenty times the national average, with special mention to the girls in her "girls with autism" support group- which could well now be called trans boys support, as she is the only "girl" left in it.

I think it might’ve begun it’s downward trajectory in the earliest hotspots but it’s definitely still spreading. My middle child’s school had it’s highest number of transboys 2018/2019 (with the most common time for ‘coming out’ being the end of year 8/beginning of year 9).
That age group is now in 6th form and each year below has fewer and fewer trans identifying female pupils, although there has been an uptick in male pupils with anime inspired cross sex identities.

I don’t think ‘everywhere’ was particularly hyperbolic, all things considering.

Name changed for anonymity; we now have our first member of staff at the school I work in, a Ta, transman. Not yet fully transitioned. Left school around 2020 but appears to have been lesbian first according to Facebook. Pronouns, mr. Good at the role, can't fault them.

The next few years will see many more in the workplace. It makes it more challenging to have discussions around this and safeguarding when members of staff are trans.

My friends lesbian DD (parents super supportive, good social circle at home) has recently come out as NB (in the summer after first year at Uni).

Moved from a "tomboyish" presentation to a far more masculine one and has changed their name to a sex neutral (apparently got into all the LGBT+ societies at Uni and friend has a suspicion from conversations that being a lesbian didn't "cut it" in that environment).

Visited them recently. It was a shock. Gone is a fantastic, happy, engaging, intellectually curious young woman to an angry, aggressive, depressed, angst ridden "theybie".

Constantly on the lookout for any comment that however tenuously might be interpreted as transphobic and going into "attack mode". The atmosphere in the home was frankly bloody awful.

Friend doesn't care how her DD identifies but is tearing her hair out about the change in her child's personality and MH and the wider family impact - everyone is constantly walking on eggshells.

Friends child is clearly not happier and their MH health is increasingly obviously becoming more fragile. Friend was (and remains) really worried about them being back at Uni.

I wonder how much the burden of the cognitive dissonance on a very clever person is a factor?

I really despair about the impact this ideology has on young adults and children.

There are two simultaneous narratives being pushed.

'Oh, it's very rare, you'll hardly ever meet a trans person in the ladies, we just need to make their life easier! Let's make sure these unicorns get all the medical support they need to transition and live full and happy lives.'
And
'It's really very normal, why are you getting so worked up?'

In reality, it's becoming very common and the only public narrative seems to be total affirmation all round. No questioning as to whether that's the best choice for each individual.

DH — not the most familiar with teenage trends — has gone from ‘God, you’re obsessed with this tiny minority’ to indignantly noting every ‘transboy’ daughter among his friends and colleagues. Last week, it was one of his boss’s daughters, to add to our lengthy collection — and as he said, ‘it won’t surprise you to hear that it’s the autistic one.’

I should check if there are now more ‘transboys’ than girls among our friends/colleagues’ teenagers yet. Can’t be far off.

The next few years will see many more in the workplace. It makes it more challenging to have discussions around this and safeguarding when members of staff are trans.

On the plus side, the more trans teachers there are, the more ‘cringe’ transition will seem to teenagers and the more transition itself will be pushed back into being an adult-world-activity.

True but I fear it will mostly be transmen rather than TW in schools. And girls may be in awe a little. Though if fully transitioned pupils shouldnt know and may be unlikely to as transmen tend to pass more easily.

Exactly. My son is only now starting middle school and I do not have friends with teenage kids so it was difficult for me to judge.

Thanks. It was definitely a shock. And it was almost word by word the same as those stories I've read here before.

I have late and early teen DDs and have contact with many children of their friends and friends' kids. I've lost count how many kids and young people I know who are trans or non-binary. Seeing it up close and often has further convinced me how unhealthy this ideology is. I live in a very progressive community (consider myself progressive) with the most affirming of schools/businesses/institutions yet somehow, despite these support systems, these are the unhappiest of kids and often the most entitled and the most demanding. And, at my last count of those I know personally, are all middle or upper middle class white kids.

My city also has a lot of children of war refugees, immigrants, displaced native kids and kids in systemic poverty and homeless kids, yet somehow my fellow white progressives think their trans kids are the most vulnerable. I've become quite frustrated with them, frankly.

My DD's bff comes from a very patriarchal culture, and is a war immigrant. She was DD's first friend to challenge DD and point out the sexism in gender woo and ultimately changed my DD's mind. "Somali first generation women are natural terfs," is a common refrain in this circle of young women. They know misogyny up close and think that now they're in America, they shouldn't have to put up with it anymore.