How do you protect your children from getting sucked into and brainwashed by this?

[jewishmum]

For reference I have one very young child of each sex.

What sort of age might schools start mentioning gender stuff so I can keep an eye out? I haven't heard anything about it
at our school but my older one is just starting yr 4 so maybe not quite yet? I'm firmly crossing my fingers that some of the wilder nonsense will have died down by the time he gets to yr 7/8 but maybe that's wishful thinking.
I absolutely think people should all be treated with compassion and respect, but the gender stereotypes really annoy me.
My younger one has come out of school with some firm views about 'girls like unicorns' and 'hes got girl hair' (Sam Ryder...). Despite me being pretty non girly and his uncle having long hair. But I'm sure that is coming from other kids and not the school.

My son (8) likes to wear dresses and has long hair down to his lower back. He doesn't like football and all of his friends are girls.

There is a boy in his class who was the same but is "now a girl" so my son could very easily be pushed in that direction. Thankfully he is a very logical thinker and loves science. He knows that boy is still male and you can't change your biology. He says "their DNA can't change, it's not physically possible"

He also knows there's nothing wrong with being a boy and liking "girl things" because there's no such thing.

He's also very accepting of the other child though and does go along with referring to him as she and uses their new name.

I'm not worried at all tbh, I just make sure he knows the facts and I'm sure he'll make his own mind up based on that.

By talking about it, allowing disagreement and encouraging critical thinking.
I always tell my son he is welcome to disagree with me and tell me I'm wrong on anything at all. My only proviso is that he needs to make his case. If he's can persuade me he's right, I'll admit I'm wrong, but if I don't agree, I'll make my case and he has to poke holes in it.
We have a lot of good natured arguments debate about all sorts of things

I do think a part of it is luck. My daughters’ schools have been brilliant. Every other school seems captured and all my best friends children the same age and friends of my eldest but different schools are captured. The children always seem to influence the parents too which has caused sons conflict.

I do agree with Norma27 that there's an element of luck to it.
It's easy to counteract weird beliefs when you know that's what your children are being taught, but some of the stuff that is taught is so out there that it really doesn't occur to people that schools would be teaching or doing it.
I'm thinking of that 'Alien Nation' book that went out as a teaching aid with its 'blue planet' and 'pink planet' with associated lists of stereotypes. Most reasonable people would assume that the lesson to follow is that the stereotypes lists aren't real but it doesnt do that. It just tells children if they don't fit the pink list or blue list, then they don't fit the girl or boy 'planets'.
Anyone taking a cursory look at it would assume its teaching that stereotypes aren't real. It's only when you read what's actually in it, that you realise they're being reinforced.

We’ve talked about the fact you cannot change sex from an early age, you are a girl or a boy but you can play with or wear what you like

Talk about it don't, don't let them misunderstand.

My dc have friends who have changed genders they want to support but they know they can respect their friends ( calling by new name etc), but equally they can hold the belief that individuals do not and can not change sex.

It helps that they have a good understanding of science and biology.

My daughter works for the NHS and thinks it is al oad of rubbish. So do my grandchildren, and I have said nothing to them. I think they were not taught this rubbish in school.

Keep them off Discord - that place is grooming central. At the very least keep a very close eye on how much time they spend on it.

Expose them to a more traditional viewpoint on sexual equality. I said this to someone and it actually made them think: "I find the current trans movement very regressive. It just reinforces sexual stereotypes. My generation fought for the idea that you weren't defined by your sex. That if you were a girl who was into cars and wanted to be a mechanic, that was fine. It didn't make you less of a girl. Now I see groups like Mermaids presenting slides in schools of the "gender spectrum" with a barbie princess at one end an GI Joe / Action Man at the other and asking kids where on the spectrum they are. It's a trick, really - nobody is absolutely one stereotype or the other nor should they be. But this way they try to convince you sex is some sort of spectrum by using outdated sexual stereotypes. You can act how you want, you can dress how you want. It doesn't mean you sex has to change."

Clear, simple and shows the biggest flaw in trans ideology in a nutshell.

As others have said make conversation and discussion something that is regular in the household. I encourage mine to question when they make an assertion how they know something to be true. Why they think in a particular way and going back to first principles to understand things - logic. The simple logic of understanding sex is that we reproduce via eggs and sperm, humans therefore produce one or the other or are of the category that does. There is no arguing with this simple logic. Basics.

I think a surefire way is to come out as trans/non binary and make it something that middle aged women do.

Bring them up on South Park
I'm only half joking- someone upthread mentioned sense of humour and I'll throw in a good sense of the absurd
I expect yours are way too young at present but mine have been watching SP and family guy from a relatively young age- the "Mr Garrison's fancy new vagina" episode is often quoted in this house- it's bang on the money and from 2006 I think- i can't believe how accurate it is- honestly i'd rather they're exposed to swearing than this hideous ideology (and they have always understood that the swearing is not for them to quote!)
humour trumps everything- kicks piety to the kerb
there has been a background of GC seething/grumbling/ranting from me and kids' father over the years- actually to the point that it started to piss my daughter off so i've reined it in quite a bit as don't want to alienate her- this was when she started secondary school- lockdown happened- and a declaration of lesbianism- a cake with "i'm gay" on it appeared on the table. it's a bit disconcerting to realise that your 12 year old wants to declare a sexuality- but obvs we said great, but remember it's not your personality and didn't make a big deal. my big concern was that she would possibly fall under the rainbow mafia spell
2 years on and we haven't heard anything more about it and luckily her friendship group isn't mired in gender ID
I will caveat that if she is gay, i couldnt give a shit- in fact, having spent so much time lurking on the feminist board and the consequent lightbulb moments I've had it's preferable!- but I'm not going to bang on about it- any more than I would her height/hair colour or anything else that's innate
So, yeah: the importance of humour was what my waffle was all about!

@GingerPushkin great do not bang on about it. As a lesbian I would not want any young person near the Rainbow Queer Mafia. I avoid them too. Gay women lead nice boring normie lives.

thank you @QueenHippolyta I really appreciate that

I really appreciate this thread. Dd is 8. I have had extensive conversations with her school about th e teaching of gender ideology which seem to have gone well. I've also been very open about female biology from the get go. She knows she's a girl because she has eggs in her tummy, and its nothing to do with clothes hair or hobbies. She is quite gender non conforming so we talk about how silly it is that some people think a girl can't do x or a boy can't do y. I've just started saying to her that if anyone says anything silly to her like you can change sex she should let me know.

She's just moved schools so now I need to start again being 'that parent'with her new school.

Elise Gravel has some lovely free printables that dispel gender stereotypes - great for littles but stylish enough to have around even if your children are older:

elisegravel.com/en/blog/boys-can-be/

elisegravel.com/en/blog/girls-can-be/

elisegravel.com/en/blog/artsy-boys-and-smelly-girls-free-e-book-kids/

There is a great critical thinking questions cheat sheet around that I learned about via another MNetter, I’ll come back with the link…

get.futurefocusedlearning.net/critical-thinking-cheatsheet

My eldest thinks it’s nonsense (v black and white thinker) but has learned to be polite about it at uni (I like to scandalise him with my tervery, although he does cheerfully admit to being a terf in the sheets, even if he isn’t one in the streets)

My youngest is a people pleaser so struggles with the urge for kindness v the urge for fairness (she’s 10, so the boys are starting to really pull ahead in sports). I’ve carefully vetted the local secondaries and am hoping to get her into a local girls school that is very emphatic about female centred language, ‘daughters of the school family’ that kind of thing.
The other local girls’ school has banned the teachers from calling the girls, girls, so there is quite a contrast.

We’ve ruled out the best nearest co ed due to mixed sex loos.

I also have a middle-by-marriage who lives with her mum most of the time. She’s properly sucked into Genderland, mostly via affirmation by school staff, but also online. She sometimes wibbles and looks like she’s going to desist and then gets sucked back in and we’re all just hoping she grows out of it before she’s 18 and gets her trust fund from Tony Blair 🙄
if I had parental responsibility for her I would crowdfund and take action against the school, but I don’t.
I totally get why parents generally aren’t up for such drastic measures, as it’s all very walking-on-egg-shelly.
The school is Stonewall Bronze Champion, but none of us realised how sinister that might be when she started there in 2017. Just started lower 6th now.

Witnessing their sister’s distress (she’s also anorexic) has certainly taken the shine off the glitter and the colour out of the rainbows as far as the other two are concerned.

My youngest isn’t going to be given a smartphone until she’s at least 16.

We’ve ordered a light phone from the US, if it seems good when it arrives and like a useful tool without the mental-health destroying algorithms, I will probably start a thread.

Very interested in the phone. Please do start a thread. I teach in a girls'secondary school and the stuff I deal with makes me not want dd to get a smart phone ever!

This is the website: www.thelightphone.com

The international version can be used on a few different UK networks. We’ll see how it goes in real life!

I’ll update when I’ve got it in my hand I have a feeling a lot more gadgets like this will be released over the next few years - there are already teen specific smart phones in the US so I’m sure we’ll get similar in future.

www.pinwheel.com

(I had been threatening her with a Nokia burner, which is still my back up plan! Call and text only, no camera!)

I have boys. So I introduce the idea of having to have their private parts cut off - which they were horrified about. Because boys just are naturally protective of that sensitive area of their body.
My DH was unbothered until I talked to him about how his petite mother could be in hospital with an woman with a penis and testicles in the hospital bed next to them. That changed his mind quite quickly.
Then I also showed my boys the pictures from some of the feminist website of where the skin is taken from girls to fashion a penis. They were teens at this point - as it’s pretty graphic.
Luckily both DS are quite into science.
I also emphasized about treating fellow students with compassion. But that if they ever got I trouble for misgendering at school they were to tell me and I would deal with it.
Hope that helps.

Children will believe whoever tells them a "fact" first.

I don't know. I did everything right according to this thread - no gender stereotyping as children, open and honest discussion, etc etc, but mine are immersed in it all anyway as young adults.

I can just imagine all your kids on a forum for teens searching for advice on how to stop their mums being sucked in and brainwashed into being gender crirucal 🙂

It’s hard to convince a woman that there is no such thing as biological sex when you’ve pushed a human out of your vagina.

You can call that brain washing if you like, the rest of us will call it accepting material reality.

I'm not calling anyone brainwashed @TheClogLady - people on this thread are.

I'm pointing out in a tongue in cheek way that teenaged children are likely to see things differently to their middle aged parents. This is normal. I certainly disagree with my mother about a few things. I would think that teaching your children to think critically and accepting that, as free thinkers, there will be times that they disagree with you and loving them anyway is a healthier approach and will lead to better outcomes for your relationship them.