Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Pronouns in emails - A bit of a light hearted response

23 replies

Justme56 · 13/10/2022 15:20

Dear Employer

Thank you for your recent correspondence about adding pronouns to my email. As you said, it ‘costs nothing’ and whilst I know that there have been whispers that you should actually be spending some time and money resolving some of the more important issues, like the mixed sex toilets that everyone hates, I am aware that funds are tight and managers bonuses don’t pay themselves.

I have to admit as someone who is a little older, choosing my own pronouns is rather new. Unlike the education system of today, where identity politics, pronouns and social justice take priority, when I attended the local comprehensive it was mainly just about achieving qualifications – how very boring! I do recall being told that ‘progressive’ meant telling girls that they could achieve whatever they wanted and that it was about changing minds not bodies, but I am aware that the meaning of some words has changed, and I am finding it difficult to keep up.

Anyway, I digress, so back to my pronouns. It’s all rather exciting and in my quest to make a decision I have started some research – as they say you can never educate yourself enough on these matters. It’s early days, but here are my thoughts so far:

Neo and make up your own pronouns - To be honest I don’t quite understand neo pronouns. I enjoyed 'The Matrix' and who doesn’t love a bit of Keanu, but I am just not sure they are right for me. However, make up your own pronouns, that’s something I am definitely considering. I recall that when my son was about three, he used to make up words and it all seemed rather cute. Unfortunately, his nursery teacher thought it a bit silly and asked him to stop. I am still on the fence with this option.

They/Them pronouns - I have to admit I quite like these pronouns. Did you know that singular ‘they’ has been used since Shakespearian times? I’m all for bringing a bit of Shakespeare back and a few more words like, ‘thee, thou and thine’ would certainly perk up some of those less exciting emails. I also think signage like, ‘the privies by yon’ could be more interesting than the current sign with the direction to the toilets and referring to the man who flirts with all the women in the office (we all know who he is) as the ‘Gandermooner’ may go some way in to helping him stop. Happy to discuss this further if you’re interested.

He/Him pronouns – Out of all of my research so far, this choice certainly seems to be the most lucrative. There is far too much to cover here, but the general consensus is that those who choose ‘he/him’ pronouns are definitely able to move up the career ladder quicker, earn more than others and from my own experience, feel that talking over people without a second thought is totally acceptable. If I do choose these pronouns, would I also receive the same benefits? Your response will certainly help in my decision-making process.

She/Her pronouns – Unfortunately, my research in this area has proven the most negative. However, as I am aware that time is money (those bonuses are important), it may be easier just to look at my findings on ‘he/him’ pronouns and reverse them.

Once again, I thank you for your interest. I look forward to your response.

Kind regards
Your employee
(Pronouns: undecided)

OP posts:
Toomanysleepycats · 13/10/2022 16:42

I’m now sad that I’m no longer working and haven’t been asked for my pronouns!

But I like the interested but genuinely confused tone of your email. I think you’ve made a very good case for everyone to be he/him. Well done!

Pobblenotoes · 13/10/2022 16:45

This is excellent, thou speaketh well. I'll bookmark and consider adapting when I am asked this as I fear it's on it's way.

zanahoria · 13/10/2022 17:00

Costs nothing?

So how much time and money did they spend on this bullshit?

Facecream · 13/10/2022 17:09

Love it.
I’m currently not working (carer for my DD).
I found it amusing when SS asked me if I identified as female, then said - about my nonverbal DD - erm, eh, so she cannot identify herself.
I smiled and said “correct”.
SS (doing her best, bless) said do you are both females?
I struggled not to say “if I were to be obliged to enter such a stupid discussion, I’d be obliged to tell you that I am not obliged, as a non-employee to sign up to this latest ableist bollocks”. So I just said “yes”.
If I had an employer I would point out that my pronouns are, “me, myself and I” when I am describing myself.
I don’t tend to refer to myself in the third person.
If someone else feels that using my name or my title means they require directions on how to refer to me so they feel safe, they can use the non-identifying options eg “they said”, “Dr/Mrs X says” and so on,
If I felt the need to refer to myself in the third person in order to inform the entire organisation which toilet I might use, I would ask to be referred to as “they” and not in the sense that suggests I have multiple personality disorder.

custardbear · 13/10/2022 17:15

I won't be bothering if they even ask, it's obvious I'm she .... unless I state otherwise - I have no issues in others doing it but not me thanks

KatMcBundleFace · 13/10/2022 17:21

Ha!

Enjoyed that.

It costs nothing...... but your integrity 🤣

Coconutmeg · 13/10/2022 21:08

thats great!

FourChimneys · 13/10/2022 21:24

I am 90% self employed. I have told the Director of the other 10% that the day I am asked about my pronouns will coincide with the day I resign. I cannot be doing with such utter nonsense and they know it.

OP, your reply is great.

Redshoeblueshoe · 13/10/2022 21:26

Excellent. I hope they read it to all the senior execs and decide that yes indeed pronouns are bollocks

ResisterRex · 13/10/2022 21:27

Please tell me you actually sent this. And report back!

ArabellaScott · 13/10/2022 22:20
Grin
ArabellaScott · 13/10/2022 22:23

I think taking it FAR FAR too seriously is an absolutely excellent idea.

I also suggest having different, changing pronouns is a great way to show support for genderfluidity. According to the phases of the moon, tied to the stockmarket, and perhaps celebratory ones for special occasions? Maybe an Excel spreadsheet would be helpful, to keep everyone on track?

Ofcourseshecan · 14/10/2022 20:57

ArabellaScott · 13/10/2022 22:23

I think taking it FAR FAR too seriously is an absolutely excellent idea.

I also suggest having different, changing pronouns is a great way to show support for genderfluidity. According to the phases of the moon, tied to the stockmarket, and perhaps celebratory ones for special occasions? Maybe an Excel spreadsheet would be helpful, to keep everyone on track?

Grin
OneLuckyFarmGirl · 15/10/2022 10:55

According to the phases of the moon, tied to the stockmarket, and perhaps celebratory ones for special occasions?

My employer is publicly traded, I love the latter idea:

Monday, share price up 0.5%: "yay/yay/yays"

Thursday, up 6.2% in a day: "wow/wow/wows"

Friday, unmitigated disaster: "oh/oh/noes"

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/10/2022 11:06

Perhaps Liz Truss could change her pronouns to those suggested by our new King
Dear/Dear/Oh Dear

ArabellaScott · 15/10/2022 11:08

Hahaha.

Or for the Glaswegianically inclined: petal/hen/darlin

dragonbreaths · 15/10/2022 11:30

I told my manager I was using meowself, as I'm a bit of a cat lady. She just said 'oh for fucks sake' and hasn't mentioned it again

pronoun.fandom.com/wiki/Meowself

titchy · 15/10/2022 11:47
Grin
UWhatNow · 15/10/2022 11:53

Love it!

I actually think your “pronouns: undecided” is a really pragmatic way to subtly subvert this if you are working in a woke totalitarian state that won’t let you opt out.

balalake · 15/10/2022 11:57

Make it a bit shorter, though I like the sentiment. There are probably other traditions from Shakespeare's time you could refer to- for example if your employment covers weekends, not working Sundays.

Greenight · 15/10/2022 11:57

OP we love you. And, it’s a tricky decision but I’d go for “thee / thou / thine” to add a bit of gravitas to the workplace

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 15/10/2022 12:18

I love this!! I work in education and there is a real split between those fully on board and the GC ones who quietly mumble about what a load of bollocks it is when they know the others aren’t listening!

If ever I was asked, I like the idea of cat lady pronouns, and nobody can really say anything about it, because if we’re doing pronouns then they are all valid and I am whatever I say I am, surely?

ArabellaScott · 15/10/2022 12:28

I think I want my chosen pronouns acknowledged even in direct communications to make sure I've been seen and understood. Would it be acceptable to ask people to recite them back to me in communications?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page