UnHerd: Male sexuality: Why Gay Men Ignored Me Too

[Abitofalark]

unherd.com/2022/10/why-gay-men-ignored-metoo/
"What's wrong with cruising?"

NOTE: Graphic content

Article that advocates for different needs of gay male sexuality.
Extract:
"Commentators apparently struggle to grasp that norms designed to stop the predatory behaviour of men towards women may be ill-suited to the dynamics of sex between men.
Gay men are known for being “sexually adventurous” — a polite way of saying that we’ve got so many notches in our belt, our trousers can barely stay up. While most gay men ultimately wish for (and find) emotionally committed “monagamish” relationships, based around romantic love, it’s also very common to have a period of sowing one’s wild oats, actively seeking out novel sexual encounters with strangers. Gay fantasies often revolve around dangerous liaisons, with non-verbal anonymous sexual encounters as well the eroticising of thuggish “rough trade” personas.
This has been true since the origins of gay male identity...."

This is what we were discussing in the cottaging thread.
Gay males have an entirely different sexual culture from that of women and lesbians

Homosexuality sees the essence of the two sexes writ large.

How is any of that different to the way heterosexual men approach their sexual encounters with women? The majority of uncommitted men (and many in relationships as well) would jump at the possibility of sowing wild oats, novel sexual encounters with strangers, dangerous liaisons, non-verbal anonymous sexual encounters and rough sex. The difference really is that with gay men both are likely to be willing participants, but with hetero men women are far less likely to be willing participants in these sexual activities.

Yes NAMALT (and NAWALT) but enough are for make sexual behaviour to be dangerous to women.

Is there really any difference between men's sexual behaviour wrt to their sexuality, and similarly with women's sexual behaviour?

Not sure what the complaints are here in the article. Gay men go to gay bars etc knowing what they're in for, it's a bit different to being groped in an office environment or the whole MeToo which was really about the Hollywood "casting couch" and what young actresses were expected to do to land jobs.

Some of it's just practical, if you are a straight guy you are limited in terms of how many women are likely to have sex with you.

But I also think that people are affected by the people they spend time with and have intimate relationships with. Sex does often come, even for men, with a certain amount of attachment, sympathy, affection for your partner, and an enhanced ability to see things from that persons point of view, wanting them to be happy.

So the fact of having those kinds of relationships with women may modify the way some (many?) heterosexual men feel about sexual relationships over time.

How the hell are mothers of gay boys going out into the world supposed to think about that?!

Almost as though you need an older gay man as a protector to help you negotiate the world.

“No loads refused pimped out cumdump” FFS
Send the comet.

Is that a genuine expression of male sexuality, or the result of an abusive grooming culture?

Actually I suspect there are plenty of gay men who would prefer to have a quiet drink and a chat with other gay men, and who are very poorly served. How is what you say different to saying that women 'know what you expect if they go into certain nightclubs'?

That anybody choosing to attend a "no loads refused pimped out cumdump" had better not have any illusions about what they're getting into?

My old lesbian (pre-queer transwomen) single social group revolved around going to lunches, dinners at restaurants, movies, outdoorsy canoeing/softball/hiking and the occasional concert for a lesbian band. It was absolutely great and had women from their 20s to 60s.
Quiet gay men could have done and could do this.