Gendered Toys

[JunebuginDecember]

So on another thread, that has thankfully been deleted, regarding teens that identify as trans somebody made a comment about gendered toys being 'left in the seventies'. Am I alone in thinking that this is not the case at all?

I think parents have certainly gotten better at educating kids that toys have no gender but I'm still seeing toy aisles that are certainly separated by gender as well as tv advertisements that always have little girls playing with the barbies, my little ponies etc and the little boys playing with the hot wheels etc

I was curious about others' thoughts on this. Do you think we have made much progress there?

Wasn't there something called 'pink stinks', it started before genderwoo went main stream.

In the 70s, clothes and toys were, relatively, more expensive than today. Perhaps darker colours would last longer, not get stained and could be passed between siblings. Also, there wouldn't have been the technology to inexpensively add glitter and embroidery.

Ugh this drives me crazy. My 5yo DD keeps coming home from school saying things like “I can’t play with cars because they’re for boys”, “I like unicorns because I’m a girl”. 🤮

I have no idea who is pushing this stuff on her. I try to push back on the idea whenever I can, but it seems pervasive.

We were visiting my DH‘s brother a few weeks ago and my 1yo DS started playing with some dolls. My BIL picked him up and moved him to the Lego, saying “don’t be playing with girls’ toys now, my little man”. I was shocked! I wish I had a clever retort but the best I could come up with in the moment was “he can play with whatever takes his interest; please don’t move him”.

It was much better than all the butterflies on girls t shirts and tigers on boys t shirts.

Lots of clothes were home sewn too, trouser hems forever being taken up and let down as one kid grew out of the dungarees and the next one grew in.
Brand names and designer labels weren’t really a thing until after I started secondary school in the 80s.

Trainers were elastic fronted plimsolls or maybe Dunlop green flash if you were fancy,

Yup that's what I've seen as well.
It's the adults pushing the gender stereotypes on their kids. My kids didn't care what aisle a toy was in or what colour it was as long as it was fun. I didn't make a big deal out of it either, my daughter loved Lego friends and her stepbrother played with it too. So did I for that matter!

I was born in '65 with older brothers in a comfortably off home. I don't remember any of my friends' mums having a job.

Toys were handed down/across families in those days. All bikes seemed to be red or blue (and nobody cared what bike they had unless it was too big or small).

I honestly don't remember "pink aisles and blue aisles" in toyshops. We were expected to spend most of our time outdoors doing pretend play stuff or using whatever bodge there was for a playhouse/camp in the garden.

Toyshops focussed on board games, plastic farm animals, hoops/bikes/roller skates/beach stuff, Action man/Sindy/Barbie dolls and a few prams and baby dolls for toddlers. Soft toys weren't cheap (and tended to be what you were given as a baby).

I suppose it was the availability of cheap imports that made "gendered toys" a "thing". There is now a generation of parents that know no different.

You mean the support thread for a poster who had been bereaved and was struggling to help her son, that got attacked & insulted repeatedly? That one?

Yes, I think that was the one.

Interestingly enough a male friend of mines dad would heavily enforce a No Dolls rule for his son but allowed Action Men which if you think about are just dolls with less hair and less pink!

And Yes clothing is horrible for children now. You get either hideously pink, hideously blue or beige. Ugh.

I really really hope thats not true. Who the hell gives lego to a one year old? That is more shocking imo

If the rest is true then I hope a toy garage and some cheap cars are on a little girl's santa list 😉

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers honestly “he can play with whatever takes his interest; please don’t move him” is straight to the point and would be what I would say. It always just exudes fragility to me when men try to push this crap.

The one toy I remember desperately wanting (probably after seeing a TV ad) was the original Mr Frosty.

Completely unisex toy (apart from the ‘Mr’ obvs). Just found one on Etsy and the box shows 1 boy and 1 girl, both wearing blue.

Mr Frosty turned out to be little more than a giant plastic cheese grater and is, to this day, a story I use like a parable, a tale of how crushingly disappointing life can be, even when you get what you thought you (desperately) wanted.

I hear Mr Frosty has made a comeback lately, presumably now bringing crushing disappointment to a whole new generation of children.

It’s quite a small step from here to the LGTBQ ambassador at school
suggesting the child may be trans because they are attracted to the ‘wrong’ toys. Children displaying a liking for certain toys that marketing companies have deemed as being for the opposite sex is frequently provided as an example as to why the parents have taken them to the doctor thinking they may be trans.

It is a very worrying phenomenon as I often coveted toys, clothes and activities broadly (though in those days it was quite loose) aimed at boys.

Restricting (safe) toy choices for tiny children is just going to cause them confusion and distress. Why shouldn’t the little girl play with trucks? Or boys play with sparkly dolls?

There were plenty of 'gendered' toys around in the 80's, star wars, transformers, he man, care bears, my little pony, barbie, cabbage patch kids etc. Kids just got less and things were passed down and toys were for xmas and birthdays only, in my case anyway.
We were also more free range and played out and built dodgy go carts which would never pass a H+S inspection nowadays.

It does annoy the shit out of me when people go on about Lego friends being the most horrendous thing ever though.
I assume those who complain about 'pink' lego don't actually know much about lego or use it.

Never seem to complain about lego city's blue boxes and endless fire/police/robber sets, monster fighters, castle, ninjago, monkey kid, nexo knights, star wars, ben 10, space, bionicle, speed champions, technic etc all aimed at the male market?

@TheClogLady oh God I wanted Mr Frosty so badly.

I feel this about the constant digs at Disney Princesses but never at the male characters.

Exactly, it's just casual misogyny.

Had never heard of Lego Friends before but having just looked it up it doesn't seem that gendered or in any way harmful to me? I can see boys and girls loving that.

Kids just got less and things were passed down and toys were for xmas and birthdays only, in my case anyway.

Agree with this. We didn't get stuff all the time, including clothes. Christmas I always got a new dressed up outfit to wear over Christmas as part of my presents.

I promise you, Mr Frosty was utterly, utterly shit.

My mother has been dead for almost 20 years and I occasionally find myself wondering if I ever actually apologised for mithering her into buying me Mr Frosty.

Exactly the same here, and agree about it being quite damaging. I grew up feeling quite comfortable about being a Tom Boy who also wanted to be a mum one day. It was almost a badge of honour (strange there was no boy equivalent though 🤔)

@TheClogLady My brother told me the red stuff that came out of the penguin was strawberry flavoured blood 😂😂😂😂

I also think it has a lot to do with TV becoming 24 hour endless channels, you tube etc and children being bombarded with ads and info and all TV shows having mass produced merchandise.

Parents with more disposable income so toys become more disposable too rather than precious because they were a special thing not just another bit of plastic to throw in a toy box then onto the next fad.

Lego have recently said they are scrapping the Lego Friends and Lego City branding, going back to a more unisex style. My DD is quite upset, and I have had to explain that the same kind of things will be available, just in a different box!
I've been looking at old photos today, I was a small child in the 80s. I wore yellow dungarees, and pretty basic trousers and t-shirts. Of course, there were dresses for parties and special occasions. Most of those were hand me downs from the 70s!
There is always going to be an obvious gendering to toys, I think girls are more likely to play with dolls, as it is modelled on what the are seeing at home and in the outside world. Mum's do the baby stuff (most of the time), they're the ones who stay at home etc.
Even without the marketing I think there is a subliminal intake of 'boys' toys and 'girls' toys. It is almost inbuilt in us.

Lego Friends is 10 years old this year and has out lasted many 'boy's' themes like Chima and Nexo Knights. Sets that are always themed around conflict.

The original ELC never sold the pink/ blue varieties. It was only after it was bought by Mothercare that those options came in. The old ELC was amazing - brio, playmobil, Duplo, meccano, jigsaws, huge arts and crafts section, musical instruments, STEM toys. Definitely no princess stuff and no stereotypes.

The lack of a male equivalent to a Tom-boy is to my mind half the issue in the trans movement.

It's never been socially acceptable for boys / men to wear skirts and dresses (outwith kilts) Or really like soft things like caring, home making, or hand crafts like knitting and sewing. Food is a weird one fine for a man to be a chef but never a cook.🤔

Girls / women in trousers has been accepted as 'more practical' with the big changes happening when women were doing 'mens' work during the war years. The war years pushed women into men's roles, clothes and engineering.

I think men should push to be a big proud bloke in a frilly dress. Rather than trying to insist that if you like dresses then you must be a woman.