Gender critical and looking at secondary schools

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Never thought I'd ever have to consider any potential secondary schools approach on single sex spaces / teaching my child they can change sec etc.

And now I'm starting to look at secondaries for 2023 intake and in my main list of questions is

• do you have spaces which are segregated by sex?
• do you work with Mermaids etc?
• do you teach the children that they can be born in the wrong body/can change sex

But equally, if I ask these things, it marks me out. And potentially marks my child out.

So what if it does? You wouldn't send your kids to a stonewall gulag if they were gender woo would you?

But if I ask, and they aren't even on the radar of all that, does that mark me as trouble? Schools and businesses seem to be flying all sorts of "be kind" flags, most of which mean women are fucked over, so will it make my family seem transphobic? Which we aren't.

What if I ask and other parents immediately mark me as transphobic? Being GC seems so dangerous atm.

Sadly I couldn't give up my (full time) job to do that.

I don't agree that attending school makes a person gay. Nor would I give a shit of my son was gay or into home ec etc.

I just don't want the factually incorrect you can change sex bullshit or the whole here's a breast binder abuse.

Presumably these guys would have a website? One of the few benefits to batshit mentalism for the rest of us is they never miss a chance to shove it in everyone's face as if we should be fucking grateful.

That's a good point! I'll have a neb see if I can see how they lean.

@livelaughlovewine

Unfortunately with your idea of gender stereotypes, your son might be forced to become a transwoman if he happens to secretly like something that, to your mind, is unmanly.

This comment has got to be a piss take!

Interhigh if it's still going. No idea how much it costs now though.

Honestly- unless it's a small school no-one will remember who you are or who your kid is from the open day.

If you don't speak up, your child will have to fight the nonsense alone.

This comment has got to be a piss take!

It may be pure coincidence that every one of his posts reads like a makey uppy example of what a misogynist's stereotype of a mumsnetter might say. Almost as if he were trying to fabricate examples of the bigotry and silly mummy chat that doesn't actually exist on this board. Right down to "home ec might make my son gay" and "mummy needs wine". It's pathetic.

Secondary teacher here at a non gender woo school. My first top tip is a Catholic School is your safest bet, but I realise this may not be an option. (I'm not religious but teach at a Catholic school). Also my anecdotal experience is that schools which are more non-white and/or working class are much less full of social contagion.

You can tell a lot from the website and from displays around the school.

Look at the website for any mention of Stonewall, Mermaids.
Most website will have back issues of school newsletters. Trawl through as many as you can bear to see if there are any Stonewall type events. Start with June as what they do during Pride month will be most telling.

When you're in the school, check out the displays. If they have a massive display in the foyer filled with Mermaids stuff then you know it's a no.

Questions to ask:
What provider do you use for PSHE? (Then cross reference with the Safe Schools Alliance and TT reviews)
Do you provide single sex toilets?
Are you aware of the Cass Review and it's recommendations?
Are you aware of Suella Braverman's recent speech and does the school follow her recommendations?
HOw do you ensure that women and girls are protected as per the Equality Act.

Now is the best time to be 'that' parent. If they bristle and fob you off, you know it's not the school for you.

Brilliant suggestions @ValancyRedfern

Bit surprised about the idea that schools that are more culturally diverse and more working class are less likely to be infiltrated with gender woo though. But the more I think about it, I guess the more it makes sense....

Great suggestions thanks I'll make a note. Good idea to look at newsletters and wall displays too.

We aren't religious but there are two good Catholic and one good (strongly) Christian schools in our area which we plan to visit anyway.

It depends. On odd statistic that stuck with me is the number of looked-after children/young people who present with gender dysphoria in England. They seem to be an over-represented sub-group.

This research investigated the prevalence of looked-after and adopted young people within a case file review of 185 young people referred to a UK gender identity development service over a 2-year period (1 April 2009 to 1 April 2011). Data were extracted from referral letters, clinical notes and clinician letters. Looked-after young people were found to represent 4.9% of referrals in this cohort, which is significantly higher than within the English general population (0.58%). Adopted young people represented 3.8% of referrals. In addition, the findings showed that looked-after young people were less likely to receive a diagnosis of gender dysphoria compared with young people living within their birth family.

journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1359104518791657

It's difficult to get a clear answer on this but I think a substantial number of looked-after children are present in schools in working class areas or those towards the disadvantaged end of the socio-economic quintiles.

I went into the school that my eldest is starting this year. I took in the Sex Matter/Transgender Trend guidance. I talked to them from a parent’s point of view. I have a very sensitive daughter who would really struggle with boys in changing rooms and toilets and my youngest, like me at that age, has short hair and wears ‘boy’ clothes.

I hated doing it because I don’t like confrontation, but I was lucky and the school are a bit behind the times on this and haven’t fallen for it all yet. They welcomed the guidance. I am planning to go back in again to follow up next term.

It’s not something I would normally do, but I don’t think you can expect that other people will sort this out. We’ve got to stand up and do something. Speaking to schools and local councils is the best way to unravel all the nonsense that has been pushed into these institutions.

Yes I did similar with DDs primary school and they really appreciated my input. Moving house soon so I will need to repeat the process....

Impressive, not sure I'd have felt it within my capacity but you're right we have to be proactive instead of just limiting our input to our children.

Ask and share your concerns. The teachers at my kids' school were on the whole grateful that I raised the issue and we had some really interesting chats, and things have been changed.

Also re class & diversity.

My kids are at an inner city, very diverse school. There is defo some gender woo (Pride club?!), and one concern of mine was that my very fey teen who has always preferred the company of girls and activities that society genders feminine, would be told by the teaching and the rough macho lads that he is, in fact, a girl.

But his best mate is at a grammar school, and they seem super captured. She says she's a lesbian (good for her), although there seems to be a lot of kids calling themselves trans there. Way more than at the state schools.

Anecdotally, my GNC-ish teen DD is at a grammar with very high percentage of children from quite conservative religious backgrounds. Various cultures. Not much gender woo at all. Very few kids ID as trans but those who are go fairly unremarked on. It's definitely more homophobic than transphobic in terms of behaviour.

One teacher at one of my children's secondaries (the other secondary school has not been captured) has drunk the Kool Aid. Her laptop has a plethora of rainbows, unicorns and dolphins on. This is a grown woman with two kids who knows damn well the biological realities of being a woman. But she's been captured completely and gender woo is on the timetable.

As a result, they have been infiltrated by Stonewall, Diversity Role Models, and boast all over social media about stocking Juno Dawson's book in the library.

When I questioned the regressive, sexist, damaging and biologically incorrect material children had been looking at, the school seemed to conflate my concern about gender ideology with sexuality and then branded me a homophobe.

Still they continue to roll out the gender fiction. Fortunately, my other child's school has not yet bought into this nonsense.

Just sifted through all the online newsletters (though a couple of schools clearly dropped doing them at the pandemic and yet to pick it back up).

The one at dds preferred school (v.v. sports focussed) has an LGBTQ club and the wording on the add says "promoting inclusively especially trans" and in a back catalogue issue I saw it was ran by a Y10 student who advises not using deadnames etc. Their insta also had someone in recently to talk about diversity and the focus was on trans. So I'm probably going to scrap that one (will still visit).

Other schools no mention at all.