Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Pregnancy/miscarriage care and health insurance

8 replies

AngryAndUnapologetic · 29/06/2022 10:01

Forgive me if this just becomes a rant, not sure what I'm trying to achieve here but need to get this off my chest.

I am British but I live and work in Bangkok and, like many expats, my work provides my medical insurance. I have worked for two different companies here and in both, maternity care was either not covered or was restricted to those who had served over 2 years. I understood this but was angry about it. I sucked up the significant financial cost of choosing to have a baby here, but I remember discussing with colleagues at the time that if a young, single colleague were to face an unplanned pregnancy, the cost implications would effectively force them to break contract and return to their home country. At the time, most abortions were also illegal here so it isn't like they would have had the choice to not continue with an unplanned pregnancy. The law has recently changed to allow abortions in more cases, though it is still all very hush hush and not as readily available as I believe it should be.

Fast forward to now... just as the whole fucking mess with Roe v Wade is in the media and causing righteous fury all over the world, I find myself requiring an abortion due to severe anomalies in the foetus. All very sad, but made far worse by the fact that I was planning this in the knowledge that in the US many women in my situation would be forced to carry to term a child that, provided a miscarriage didn't occur, would be either stillborn or born with most likely only hours to live. The thought had a really visceral impact on me. I would have been furious at the ruling anyway, but this made me feel even more strongly about it (hormones, possibly!)

Today I have discovered that there is no longer a heartbeat, so I can proceed much more easily with a D&C (abortion is still not very accepted here so induction was the only method I was being offered, which I feel was an unnecessary trauma but that's another story, and at least I can access abortion in the first place).

Now to my point... I have spent over £1000 on tests and scans so far, as maternity care is not covered by my insurance. This pregnancy was not planned. Now, I have discovered that my insurance also does not cover miscarriage care, so I will pay over £1000 for a D&C tomorrow. I could get it cheaper but I've seen so many doctors at this point due to the problems in this pregnancy that I just need to go ahead and do this, not spend days shopping around the hospitals.

Am I right to feel furious that, basically, all parts of a man's body are covered by our insurance but a uterus is, in many circumstances, not insured? Am I justified to take this back to my employer as an example of unfair treatment/discrimination? We are the sort of place that promotes wellbeing, equality, diversity etc and I know my boss is personally unimpressed with the difficulties I have faced accessing an abortion here (several doctors point blank turned me down). But this all feels like lip service if we aren't protecting women from the situation I find myself in. No man will ever be in this situation. They don't have to worry that if they have sex it could lead to this.

In my situation, if I do not have a D&C things might just happen naturally. But if they don't, I am at risk of infection e.g. sepsis and, quite literally, death. My doctor wants me to have the D&C. And yet my insurance won't cover it and my employer knows this when it signs us all up for this policy.

As I said, not sure what I hoped to achieve with this, I just needed to vent.

I cannot articulate my fury at the situation in the US or the fact that so many women and girls don't seem aware how precarious our hard-won rights are. I was asked recently when/why I became such an angry feminist. This. This is why. Because I'm considered second class in terms of my medical insurance. Because my body is not protected in the same way as my male colleagues'. Because a man can fuck around as much as he likes and never, ever worry that he will be left trying to access an abortion or paying for antenatal care or raising a child (and remember, I live on Bangkok, I see more than my share of gross male behaviour among the foreign men here).

Ok rant over. I hope someone can tell me I'm not insane or entitled to feel that it's unfair my insurance does not include miscarriage care, and to worry that many female colleagues here simply would not have the funds to manage this situation.

(There is a lot more that makes me an angry feminist, this is just today's particular frontrunner given my current situation!)

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 29/06/2022 10:51

You're right Flowers sorry you are going through this.

Northseacrone · 29/06/2022 11:47

So sorry you are going through this 💐A heartbreaking situation to be in, even before all the financial worries added.
Years ago I worked with a man (in the UK) who was having to work two jobs after his wife had suffered a broken pelvis in childbirth, was in a wheelchair and unable to return to work. Their lovely expensive BUPA private health insurance didn't cover her as it was an injury sustained in pregnancy or childbirth - if she'd got the same injury in a car crash she would have been covered. It made me realise that being in possession of a womb and reckless enough to use it was considered as dangerous to insurers as going skydiving without a parachute!

FoxtrotSkarloey · 29/06/2022 11:54

Sorry you are going through this.

I have private health insurance in the UK provided by my employer and nothing relating to pregnancy is covered. I have never thought of it in terms of sex discrimination before.

The insurance is intended to supplement and not replace NHS care so one would think that if they can manage the process for other conditions and treatments, they could do the same for pregnancy.

Thinking about it in this way, I spent about 2.5 working days waiting in EPUs for scans when I had mc. That's probably two days I could have worked if I'd had a scheduled (private) appointment so there would have been a benefit to my employer too.

Feels like another thing women will have to fight for.

TheCraicDealer · 29/06/2022 12:42

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Just yesterday I was in our D&I committee meeting when one of my colleagues brought this up in connection with another issue. I have been very open about the fact I have had five miscarriages and so I interjected saying that it was galling that I could well have an underlying condition, but the private health policy will not respond in order to carry out any investigations whatsoever. The HR representatives ended up saying that they would speak to the broker that deals with the company healthcare to see if more comprehensive cover is available, but from my googling after I couldn’t see any providers that offer cover in the uk for pregnancy or miscarriage.

It’s obscene in this day and age that they’re able to exclude sex-specific issues like this. If it were my knee that kept giving way on me it would be no problem apparently; but because it’s my womb the indemnity fairies apparently don’t want to know.

My thoughts are with you with regards to your loss and the added stress you’re going through. I hope you have plenty of local support and that your work are understanding 💐

TheCraicDealer · 29/06/2022 12:47

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Just yesterday I was in our D&I committee meeting when one of my colleagues brought this up in connection with another issue. I have been very open about the fact I have had five miscarriages and so I interjected saying that it was galling that I could well have an underlying condition, but the private health policy will not respond in order to carry out any investigations whatsoever. The HR representatives ended up saying that they would speak to the broker that deals with the company healthcare to see if more comprehensive cover is available, but from my googling after I couldn’t see any providers that offer cover in the uk for pregnancy or miscarriage.

It’s obscene in this day and age that they’re able to exclude sex-specific issues like this. If it were my knee that kept giving way on me it would be no problem apparently; but because it’s my womb the indemnity fairies apparently don’t want to know.

My thoughts are with you with regards to your loss and the added stress you’re going through. I hope you have plenty of local support and that your work are understanding 💐

FunnyTalks · 29/06/2022 12:59

Males as the default again.

It's clearly just too difficult to set the world up in a way which also works for women.

So sorry OP

RunSeaSurf · 29/06/2022 13:01

I never thought about it quite this way before but you are absolutely right of course. I’ve worked for several big American companies, the sorts that are now very vocal about covering abortion expenses, (which is great) and to a fault all of their health insurance policies specifically exclude maternity related care. I have the rage again now.

AngryAndUnapologetic · 29/06/2022 15:30

Thanks for everyone's understanding. I have long been frustrated by the insurance here but also many people's attitudes to all this stuff. I was appalled to sit in a senior management meeting where I was proposing better paternity leave (currently 5 days including the weekend, in a country that routinely insists on c sections and in which most of the expat workers we are discussing have no extended family etc) to be met with, 'why do parents get all the benefits? What about the single staff?'

The reason I was proposing better paternity leave rather than maternity was because there is no financial implication - I suggested that everyone would readily cover a colleague for 2 weeks while they helped their partner recover and spent time with their newborn. Apparently I was wrong, and people would resent this. And yet we all do this if someone is off for any other reason, e.g. sickness or bereavement.

The woman most vocally arguing against me said that it's a choice to have a baby so you should deal with it. And I know she had suffered a miscarriage the previous year, of an unplanned pregnancy, so she knows full well that pregnancy is not always a 'choice'.

This is at a previous employer but if I couldn't even get them to see that MEN should have better provision (at no financial cost) then there is no way they would improve things for women (6 weeks paid, 6 weeks unpaid).

I agree with so many of your comments re having a womb being somehow a dangerous thing. And so sorry to read some of your stories, especially your friend @Northseacrone. Just dreadful.

On the phone to the insurance today the man who took the brunt of my rage was trying to find a loophole and I think if I had claimed the miscarriage occurred following a bike accident (his example) then it would be covered.

In case any of you haven't come across it already, I highly recommend the book Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez. That will stoke your rage re the world being set up with men as the default.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread