If you're breastfeeding and live near Kidderminster, it's time for a nurse-in

[PurgatoryOfPotholes]

A woman was told not to breastfeed in the car park of a supermarket there. Possibly, although it's not specified, while sitting in her own car. TwitterHi @sainsburys, can you please ensure your staff at Kidderminster branch understand the laws around breastfeeding. At 8:30pm last night a female member of staff in uniform approached a breastfeeding mother in the car park of your store 1/2and told her she was not allowed to breastfeed there because they "didn't think it was appropriate". First of all this is illegal but secondly, has really upset and knocked the confidence of a first time mother suffering with postnatal depression. Please deal with this ASAP.3 I am aware that your policy is to support and encourage staff and the public to breastfeed in your stores as is their legal right. Please make sure all of your staff are trained and versed appropriately. An official complaint will be lodged in due course, if mum feels able totwitter.com/themilkrebel/status/1541117103486410754?t=wTttUJzAV-54_uiVXTcYHA&s=19

Oh ffs, the paragraphing has gone.

twitter thread

Hi sainsburys, can you please ensure your staff at Kidderminster branch understand the laws around breastfeeding. At 8:30pm last night a female member of staff in uniform approached a breastfeeding mother in the car park of your store 1/2

and told her she was not allowed to breastfeed there because they "didn't think it was appropriate". First of all this is illegal but secondly, has really upset and knocked the confidence of a first time mother suffering with postnatal depression. Please deal with this ASAP.

3 I am aware that your policy is to support and encourage staff and the public to breastfeed in your stores as is their legal right. Please make sure all of your staff are trained and versed appropriately. An official complaint will be lodged in due course, if mum feels able to

twitter

Sainsburys have asked for a description of the member of staff presumably so this can be addressed. Yes the staff (the whole team) need educating on this but it isn't a sainsburys policy or whatever else so not sure why there would be the need for a sit in? Seems like one of those situations someone has been delighted to have been party to (not the mum but the social media poster) in order to get some attention posting about it.

Whilst annoying, it's one ill informed member of staff, not company policy. As long as the company addresses appropriately and apologises, I don't see that a nurse in is required.

I had similar at a national trust property approx 5 years ago. Was asked to sit in the disabled loo 🙄 I complained and pointed out the illegality of the request and it was dealt with quickly. Next time I returned they had breastfeeding friendly signs everywhere and had set up an area for breastfeeding mum's to sit comfortably if required- win!

Oh for heavens sake. What nonsense.

Yes, the staff member needs training. It shouldn't have happened. They are wrong, obviously. The Mum just needed to say 'I'm allowed in law to do this anywhere in a public place. Go and check with your manager. Now go away please' and ignore them.

I hate all this 'nurse in' crap. It just makes mothers look like militant fools jumping on the bandwagon. The vast majority of women who breastfeed do it in public with no fanfare or fuss. It's really not a big deal.

Coming form someone who breastfed two, for a total of four years so well out of tiny babyhood, did it in public frequently anywhere and everywhere and never had so much as a tut from anyone. I'd have ignored them if I did.

Yes, I know it hurts peoples feelings and makes them feel embarrassed if they're wrongly challenged but honestly, you're a grown up. Any number of things could embarrass you, you're a parent now and I bet your child will manage to embarrass you in a myriad of ways in public over the next ten years. Buckle up and get over it! You know you're in the right on this one so no actual need for embarrassment either - the challenging person looks like an idiot, not you.

Because Sainsbury's grey rocked the mum until she got a breastfeeding advocate with a decent number of followers to tweet about it, that's why.

She should have received an apology when she first contacted Sainsbury's. She didn't. That's not down to one member of staff acting on her own initiative, that is Sainsbury's being diabolical.

HI All I am the mum this post retains to, unfortunately though phone calls have been made and posts and emails from multiple people in multiple places Sainsburys seem to not want to respond. Thank you all for your kindness @themilkrebel thank you especially 💜

It happened at 8.30 last night. It's only 12.30pm the next day, give them a chance!

Oh actually, looking at the Twitter thread it was perhaps a few days ago? Ignore my last comment!

The thread was made at 6:52pm on 26th June. The "last night" was the 25th.

Cross-post!

I'm surprised ihaven't seen this on Facebook!

No, oddoneout, that's not on. No woman should be harassed or made to feel bad for feeding her baby.

I'm in favour of standing up on behalf of other women, and especially to help out new mothers, who are often vulnerable, recovering from pregnancy/birth hormones, and in no fit state to 'stand up' to officious arseholes themselves.

I think some people don't realise how important enabling breastfeeding is, as part of supporting new mothers to be 'outside' and part of society.

I'll never forget the kindness of my local Post Office staff when DD was just a few months old. I'd misjudged how long she'd last and after a coffee with friends I thought I could post a parcel and still get home in time. I was wrong, and she went totally ballistic! I asked them for somewhere to breastfeed, and they found a seat for me behind a screen, and were so kind - even though it was clear it wasn't something they'd had to do before.

I'm sure they didn't realise how vulnerable I was, and how hard I found it to get out of the house with DD. It was only a few weeks earlier that getting to the end of my street and back was an achievement to celebrate (I sent DH a photo to prove I'd done it - and I was so triumphant!)

I soon gained confidence, but being supported was so important.

Even if Sainsburys behaved perfectly throughout isn't it perfectly reasonable of women to use the incident as an excuse to get together and promote the "breastfeeding is not a crime" message? Maybe they could even acheive more than Sainsburys staff training could?

I would be weary of attending such an event to be honest, you don’t know who could be around or watching for nefarious reasons.

I don’t think ‘sit ins’ work, or raise awareness, they either bemuse the public or annoy them a little.

im glad sainsburys apologised, it would’ve been a nice gesture to give her a voucher or something and it looks like lesson learned

It does say in the local paper that the store has apologised, offered a voucher and will be reminding all colleagues of the law around breastfeeding. I'm not sure what else is required to be honest.

But how will people get the attention they so clearly crave if they accept in this instance it was sorted? I agree on the whole any sort of normalising and events are great, but seems ridiculous to target this event particularly

It happens unfortunately, usually it's women too (women who chose not to breastfeed i suspect) when it happened to me I told them to get lost, do they eat sitting on a toilet (the only woman's toilet I should add) and they backed off.

Full marks went to British airways who offered to let me use their crew rest area to feed dd when the most enormous woman was next to me (I was flying alone) overhanging my seat on a full flight, they also snuck me a first class meal because I needed my strength! Yes others were jealous of my food

Mothers of small babies are likely to be tired and emotional, when you know you need to feed your baby, you have calculated all the other stuff ie whether you can hang on, what else needs doing ie presumably either doing the actual shopping you’d set out to do or driving home and not wanting a screaming baby beside or behind you.
I remember taking DD on a flight full of businessmen from City airport and was hanging on til we were about to take off and wanting to hug the female member of the cabin crew who shot me a big grin and asked the bloke next to me to move over to give us the spare middle seat.
I also remember an older woman on a bus who shouted at me for not having a dummy when screaming DS and I were minutes from our stop and I knew I could stop and feed him.
One helpful person can make your day and one unhelpful one can have you in tears at that stage.

I remember going out with my newborn (second baby so a bit more confident feeding out of the house). But it was just as we were coming out of lockdown and none of the cafes were allowed to open. I went to M&S thinking they'd have a feeding room. I asked a lady who worked there who said no. I then asked if I could use the (closed) cafe just to sit and feed - she said no and suggested I use the disabled toilets instead.
I felt totally deflated after being proud of myself for getting out of the house. I didn't want to sit in the toilet (not to mention the ladies were out of order so it was literally the only toilet available for women)
I ended up walking back to my car - all the while the baby was screaming. If I'd been told I couldn't feed in the car it would have pushed me over the edge.

Nursing mothers are protected in law, you are able to feed your baby in any public place. You don't need to ask permission.

breastfeeding.support/uk-breastfeeding-laws/

'Breastfeeding in public places is protected under the Equality Act 2010 for as long as you wish to breastfeed your baby, toddler or small child without an age restriction. Protection covers any public space from parks and leisure facilities to public buildings and using public transport. You’re also protected in shops, hotels, restaurants, hospitals, theatres and cinemas'

FWIW, women protesting are actually asking for less attention, not more. They are taking the heat/flak away from mothers who are less able to stand up to the bullshit unwanted opinions of people who just can't help passing judgement on women for being too loud/female/visible.

I'm not sure what else is required to be honest.

Well, I'd probably be satisfied with Sainsbury's funding the placement of a billboard outlining women's right to breastfeed in each of the UK's 50 biggest cities/towns. Maybe...

I see that my thread title got hackles up. However, I was pissed off at the time. No, that's a lie.

I was, and remain, incandescently angry.

She was in the car park. She wasn't even in the bloody store. I used to go outside stores to feed, because I didn't want to deal with the hassle of exerting my legal rights inside any store. I took it totally for granted that I had a right to use a spot outside.

And what is worse, is that it seems very likely that she was in her car. Feeding in your car is as close as you can get to feeding at home without staying inside. If anyone out there thinks women can't breastfeed in their cars, then they basically believe it is inappropriate for women to leave the house at all. And this employee was so certain of her opinion that she accosted the mother.

And Sainsbury's did not respond until a breastfeeding advocate tweeted. I've had quicker customer service from supermarkets when emailing about bits of metal in cheese or requesting a customer refund after being delivered a meat pizza instead of a vegetarian one!

Women shouldn't have to post publicly to get an apology from the store manager after being accosted outside. There should have been a grovelling apology issued after the first private phone call. My choice not to eat meat is not as important as a woman's right to breastfeed, so why is it being treated with less respect?

So yeah, I am furious.

I know this store and the car park is so massive it makes it even weirder. Anyway... I saw a very good comment along the lines of Sainsburys should stop taking advice off Stonewall and maybe try some womens organisations!

I once bf dc in a wetherspoons while waiting to meet someone for lunch, got asked not to as 'wasn't the right place' by a member of staff, mentioned to the manager that was disappointing and he was absolutely horrified and embarrassed and insisted next time came in had meal and coffee free. Don't think you can always judge whole company by one person.

It was her car.

extract
The new mum says her child had a "meltdown" during their shopping trip, so she'd taken her out to the car to feed her, never imagining this would be an issue.
It was then she saw the female staff member, who didn't have a name badge, walk right out of the store and towards her car. Beth attempted to smile at her but says she received only glares in response.

Speaking with The Mirror, Beth, who says the car park was pretty much empty at that time, recalled: "She knocked on the window, so I opened the door, moved the child. She said, 'can you stop that, please? It's inappropriate'.