Please help me with my complaint about inclusion trainer using the word cos

[Rainbowshine]

I attended some compulsory training on trans inclusion today. The trainer repeatedly used the word cis. I dislike the word and find it offensive. I need to feedback on the training to the Head of Diversity (I work in HR so it’s not just general feedback but could influence us using the trainer again for a huge amount of diversity training). Please can you wonderfully articulate people help me with composing this feedback? Thanks!

How many trans people are in your office for goodness sake? And I mean actual trans people.

have they also done training around people with disabilities? Around women during menopause? About workers with family members who are seriously/terminally ill?

Firstly, as PPs pointed out, unless someone has told you they identity as cis it is not ok to assume they are. At best it's presumptuous and offensive, at worst it's negating and distressing for people who may appear outwardly to be cis but in fact are not.

Secondly, "cis" hides that privilege and power dynamic comes from sex as well as gender.

Bluntly, a cis man is male and a cis woman is female.

In general, taking a male and female from the same social group (class, religion, health, race etc), the former has significantly more physical and social power than the latter.

A trans woman, a person assigned male at birth, spent at least part of her life - and in the case of those who transition later in life, a significant portion of her life - benefitting from male privilege which a cis woman has never had access to. For trans and cis men the underlying sex privilege is exactly reversed.

Using cis to describe both groups as if the degree of cis privilege is identical and universal obscures the different levels of underlying sex privilege cis men and woman have relative to their trans counterparts and is therefore unintentionally sexist and disadvantaging for female people of all genders.

Is it even that commonly used? Outside of chemistry, I have never heard it used by anyone in real life. And, certainly not the makie upie use of it by using it to apply to 'gender' or biological sex.

Love this!

Could you first state that you work with a difference between "sex" and "gender" (as does the Equalities Act!)

Sex = biology. Thus: woman/man and male/female
Gender = historically & culturally specific systems of socialisation derived from perceived sex differences. Thus: feminine/masculine.

Gender roles/stereotypes are part of a systemic oppression of women.

To categorise women particularly as "identifying with" the "gender" ie femininity and a system which oppresses us, is offensive.

I just see cis woman as a shorted version of clarifying they are talking about an actual woman, not a bloke in a dress. Its a silly, unnecessary, pedantic prefix when just the word woman will do very nicely. I can't be offended by it, as it tells me the users are people pleasing wet blankets. I wouldn't bother wasting any energy complaining. I'm all for supporting said blokes in dresses calling themselves Sheila or whatever, as long as they don't appropriate facilities, awards etc that are for real women.

So just say woman or man. That is what they mean. Why try to describe one sex in relation to what they are not?

Cis is offensive to many people and the trainer should not use non inclusive language. It is particularly insulting for those of us who reject the concept of gender, and our views have been shown in court to be equivalent to a religious belief. It is demeaning because it implies a 'woman' is not a full, whole entity but is not trans (the same for men).

When I was growing up my mother banned us from using the word, 'protestant' we had to say, "non catholic" completely ignoring the feelings of anyone who might actually be proud of their faith. It also meant I had to hide my history homework.

Fair enough to introduce the concept of 'cis' but I'd have walked out and asked if it was OK to use the 'N' word as it is just as offensive.

In addition to some people of African heritage 'sis' or 'sies' is highly offensive. I found this out when a young Dr called a nurse 'Sis' as a short form of 'Sister' the nurse's correct title. It means something like 'disgusting'.

'Sis' for African American women is seen as racist when it is used by white people, 'Sis' short for 'sister' so is used amongst African Americans to display a kinship they don't share with white people.

Thanks for picking this up OP

I'm shocked that pp are comparing cis to racist language. Cis is a micro aggression compared to the term non-white or the N word.

I'm shocked that pp are comparing cis to racist language. Cis is a micro aggression compared to the term non-white or the N word.

On the contrary. What if we described a group of women of various skin colours and ethnic identity as “women and black women.”

Pretty racist, making black women a sub-set of their sex.

Using the term “Cis woman” makes a woman a sub-set of her sex. To be inclusive we could say “women and transwomen”

Transwomen are not women; they are transwomen. That’s the whole point.

It is comments like this that make women feel unprotected in the work place.

If we dare to complain about something then we will be classed as the problem, rather than listened to.

I'm not surprised, that is how many women are treated in the work place. I am surprised to hear it here though. I would be particularly saddened if a female manager took this approach when I raised a legitimate concern with her.

I'm an atheist, I also do not believe in gender. As with religion I understand that others have different beliefs and will treat them fairly and ensure they have appropriate protection and support.

I would be offended if there was an expectation that I pray or state I believe in their god. I will use someone's preferred pronouns in most circumstances (I would not refer to a rapist as she), I will work happily alongside people with different gender ID's.

However I won't be classed as a subset of my own sex and I don't believe people can change sex.

Cis implies that I believe people can change sex and that I voluntarily accept all sorts of sexist stereotypes and discriminations applied to my sex. I'm not CIS and would find it offensive if I was called it.

Using the term “Cis woman” makes a woman a sub-set of her sex. To be inclusive we could say “women and transwomen”
Transwomen are not women; they are transwomen. That’s the whole point.

And to be really accurate, transwomen are a subset of males and transmen are a subset of females. I refuse to be anything but a woman. Not a "real" one or a "XX" one or a "cis" one but a woman.

Describing someone as ''cis-gender'' is not an offensive word. It is commonly used.

This is your opinion.

You are entitled to hold this opinion.

However if you are a manager in a work environment you are not entitled to impose your belief system on others.

You may believe in a gender soul or gender specific behaviours, in Jesus as the Son of God or as Jesus a prophet.

When your employees are asked to attend compulsory training you are forcing the employee to engage and use the term. You have decided you have the right to impose a non-work related label on all the staff.

The 'nobody is forcing you" argument is the commonly used by managers to justify bullying and sexism etc.

I think your post made it clear that this is a single valad point of concern.
Feedback should and needs be honest when dealing with employee training.

Commonly used word? Only by those wanting to insult women and make them a subset of their own sex.

'Cis' is a chosen identity. If that's what someone chooses to identify as then ok, their choice. I have political disagreements, but their choice.

We don't coercively assume identities or assign labels or identities on others, or use language they do not choose or wish to use for themselves.

Some political speakers will then try to convince you that this special treatment is only for special people (who cannot actually be clearly defined as a group) and that you are part of a group who do not deserve that degree of care or respect or mutuality and should embrace your lower status and subordination as a kind of punishment for original sin etc. But really, anyone who is happy with being asked to enter into a relationship with others that involves this power imbalance and lack of mutuality and thinking this is ok, is in need of a place on the Freedom Programme, and a quick couple of books on why codependency is not a healthy future.

Whitehorsegirl · "...Describing someone as ''cis-gender'' is not an offensive word. It is commonly used."

I do beg to differ. It is highly offensive as it presumes everyone believes in gender theology. It is as offensive as a non-Muslim who rejects all the premises of Islam submitting to being labelled a kuffir.

@xeyages

I had similar about 5 years ago with the term, 'half caste'. I was shocked a student used it but the student she was using it about was quite happy. That also shocked me.

I had the advantage that they all wanted to work in healthcare so I could go down the 'people will judge you' route.

I also told them that when I was growing up the 'P' word was used just as a descriptor by people who used it to describe them selves.