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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

New job - how to raise subject of ‘office’ sexism. I don’t want t9 be singled out

2 replies

palacestreet · 19/06/2022 22:24

So, new job, I am used to working in all sorts of different environments, and can handle sexist commentary, but, I am now working in a new environment, a bit old school so inevitably a bit traditionally male. Fine. But, really kind of creeped out by a few comments in just my first week. I have been a pub landlord for eleven years so have heard it all, but am shocked by the lazy sexism going on in front of me. It makes me really uncomfortable, and makes me question a future in this organisation.
Should I be alerting HR at this early stage or will that be putting a red flag against my name and scupper my future chances?

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Hoping4second · 20/06/2022 14:31

HR aren't your friend here. They exist to protect the organisation, not the employee.

What are you trying to achieve? If you think you need a paper trail - are you likely to sue them for unfair dismissal or the like? then yes, by all means, get it logged with HR. It will make them a lot more likely to pay you loads to go away if their own systems show they're in the wrong.

Are you trying to make the organisation less sexist? That's hard. I would say either get a very, very senior sponsor. Think CEO or one of their direct reports. Or work on your immediate team - talks with your manager and peers. Humour can go a long way if you make it something they can laugh at with you. The goal being that you grow enough allies that you're not the one complaining you keep being interrupted in meetings, never get promoted etc - that one of the blokes does it on your behalf. But don't we all have enough on our plates with the day job and surviving sexism without changing entire cultures on top of everything.

Personally I'd polish the CV and start looking elsewhere. They might eventually have a come to Jesus moment when all their women employees vote with their feet. It's more likely that they won't, though. They'll think of it as being such a special industry / workplace / whatever that only the really tough, meaning the men, survive. But you won't care, it won't be your problem any more.

Or - you could take the view that it's a paycheck and nothing more. They insult you, and you pay them back by doing the absolute minimum. And leave them a nice long review on Glassdoor. I wouldn't do it personally because you only have one life, why waste it with losers? but if you have good reasons to stay, eh. Who's to judge.

One last thing, are you the only woman there? If not I'd try to cultivate friendships. You can put your heads together on how to move forward, or more practically, it can make a world of difference to have friends in the workplace.

Good luck...

palacestreet · 20/06/2022 17:45

Thanks for your reply.

No, not the only woman, and they are keen to recruit more. I am not looking to shake them up in any great way, I just want to feel comfortable where I work, and me having to point out to a colleague that what they are saying is inappropriate is going to get me targeted as being a moaning Minnie! And will make others feel uncomfortable being around me.

Humour is the way to go I think, turn it back on them, make it a joke and make them think about what they have said. tbf its only my second week now, so probably just a bit of bad luck, because otherwise they seem to be a fantastic employer and I really don't want to make this an issue.

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