Dating

[Latethannever]

I did think about posting this in Relationships but there is a sex/gender angle to it, so here goes

I’ve been on MN for about 18 years but have set up a new account for this as I’m paranoid about being identified.

My long-term relationship ended about 18 months ago when I discovered that my (male) partner had been having an affair for three years.

In my life I’ve only ever had relationships with men which I think is largely due to cultural expectations and the way I was brought up. But I’ve never really found men physically attractive if I’m honest (though I have loved at least two of them). In fact I find male genitalia somewhat repellent.

So at the ripe old age of 58 I know unconditionally that I never ever want to have an intimate relationship with a man again but I am very attracted by the idea of relationships with women.

So I explored some lesbian dating sites and it’s all ‘queer’ stuff and trans women. I’ve heard of people being thrown off such sites for declaring they only want actual women dates.

So finally to my question: are there other ways of meeting women who want to date women and who know what a woman is?

It's not fiction that the majority of people on lesbian dating sites/apps are people with a penis.

Actual lesbians have been driven off these sites because of the influx of young men (who are more likely to use such sites) who have an Identity crisis.

Users of general dating sites and apps ordinarily are made up of approximately 70% people with a penis and 30% people with fallopian tubes already. LGBT sites will have similar stats.

Yes exactly @Circumferences — if you go on one of the apps these days they aren’t actually for lesbian women per se at all: they’re now self-described as for “queer LGBT+ people” of any “identification” other than “cis man”.

And of those queer LGBT+ people of any identification that isn’t “cis man”, hardly any are actual lesbian women. So no surprise that the majority of people popping up are those who are other “LGBTQ+“ identifications.

It's not that, it's the fact that there's sooo many trans women on the lesbian sites, they are ruining our lives

That bloody is true. I completely gave up on the idea of finding a female partner because the apps were full of neckbeards, and the local QWERTY space sneered at me when I wandered in and asked about places to meet women.

It wasn’t like that a few years prior, lesbian spaces were lovely and very welcoming and I met some cool women online, but it all went to shit.

Maybe it is time MN started a subset of this board for possible friendship/ dating opportunities with pics vetted in advance. I don’t know how it could be secure. Or perhaps those interested could pm each other, taking good care of course. Well someone has to do it!

There certainly would seem to be a demand for a proper actual lesbian dating app, especially for older women.

Yes! Though sadly I think the TRAs would just shut it right down. All of those apps have been under huge pressure to do the rainbow queer inclusivity stuff. It’s complete totalitarianism.

Last time I dated women there were plenty of places to go and I was living in Brighton at that time. Twelve years have passed and there's now nowhere. Everywhere is 'queer' and people who identify as lesbian or too young. It's a bloody shame there's no spaces free of testosterone nowadays. Do we really have to start all over again? I'm not convinced that would be possible in the current climate but if anyone has any ideas I'm all ears.

It would probably take a court case in the current climate, but surely under the single sex exceptions in the EA it should be legal. A proportionate means to achieve a legitimate aim. It’s not something I have the resources to do but maybe someone like the LGBA?