Transcript of Jenni Swayne's police interview

[PronounssheRa]

If anyone needs cheering up, a transcript of Jenni's interview. grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/jenni-swaynes-magnificent-police?r=1fqwi5&s=r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

I know it was horrible for Jenni but the transcript made me laugh (and also cringe for the police officer)

She's fab. This bit made me laugh

I = Police interviewer.
R= Respondent (Jenny)

I: So you have them delivered to your house. Once they arrive, what do you do with the stickers?
R: Put them up.
I: Do you have any sort of process when you’re putting them up as to where you’re going to go or what you’re going to do?
R: It depends on where Dwain can manage going up hills really. My mobility scooter.
I: Who’s Dwain?
R: My mobility scooter.
I: Dwain’s your mobility scooter, okay.
R: My husband is Harold.

That was so funny! All hail Dwayne the mobility scooter 👍

And monitoring the death of a sticker 😂

This had me 😂

"I: How do you get the cannabis?
R: From a man in a pub.
I: What do you normally do?
R: What do you mean?
I: How would you go about getting it?
R: Go to a pub.
I: & when you go to the pub what do you do?
R: Get some cannabis."

This is the cannabis version of "what is a woman" 😆

Is it real or is it a joke? I can't tell these days. I really hope it's real though. I have done transcription work in the past, I'd've loved to have got a job like that!!

Ghee or tea made me laugh. As well as Dwayne.

Jenni you are a legend.

@Tallisker Its real, and hilarious

I:...I think, so we’ve got Karen, presumably this is Karen the man you were talking about earlier in the interview.

R: Karen White?
I: Sorry, person I meant to say.
R: The nonce who was put away by the police?

Priceless.

There are so many funny bits, Dwayne the mobility scooter is probably my favourite.

Jenni was also very good at no commenting at the appropriate time, like the name of the pub where you can buy cannabis. Frankly if the police don't already know this they should all be sacked 😃

Interesting the definition of 'caused alarm and distress'

Because I have been learning more and more about this issue and I am really alarmed and would be distressed if I were in prison and housed with me was a man who identified as a woman but who was a male sex offender of sex offences against women. That is really alarming and distressing.

I fry it in ghee.

You put it in tea?

It was like an Abbot and Costello routine.

I: When you apply these stickers, how do you apply them to the lamppost?

R: Well, I take them off the backing and carefully put it on ‘cause I’ve only got one fully working hand and drive off on my little scooter. Like, I don’t know, hell’s grannies or something.

Jenni you are a star.

She is amazing 😀

She’s brilliantly funny. I’d crumble under the pressure of an interview.

PC REDACTED knew what sex Karen White was alright.

Well done Jenni. I couldn't have been so calm.

What an amazing read.

Da iawn Jenni.

'Trans cats are not mine' 😂 This woman is brilliant - more power to you Jenni.

That police officer must be embarrassed at the time wasted on this. Have they really got so few actual crimes, that they interview someone based on reports of 'distress and alarm' because of some stickers??

Is that really where we have got to?

Omg she's so straight-talking. I love her!

Shocking😱

Idly wonders how much police time this has taken in total? Expect to see headlines that Gwent Police have zero unsolved VAWG, burglary, murder, child abuse and other crimes if they can devote this amount of time to .... stickers.

Well done Jenni.

I have met Jenni, she’s a bloody star!
We are so lucky to have fearless women like her.

Especially in Newport where there are some right nasty men about.

She's brilliant! She really doesn't suffer fools does she!

I am in awe of Jenni. The police should be ashamed of themselves, interviewing her in the middle of the night, releasing her without any means of getting home. Every one of Jenni’s answers is perfect. Grace under pressure.

Well done Jenni you are a star ⭐️