The inevitable happened - and DD is rightly pissed off (as am I)

[discontentpearl]

I've not forced my gender-critical beliefs on DD (13), keeping schtum when there's things on TV etc, but when she's asked me a couple of times in the recent past I've told her what I think (along with the standard caveat of "everyone deserves to be treated equally" etc.).

At her age, the standard mantra of TWAW is a regular feature in her daily life, but I think she peaked yesterday.

A boy in her year group socially transitioned at the beginning of this school year, returning after the summer holidays with a new name/pronouns etc. Yesterday DD returned home and asked me if she was still biologically male and whether biological males are better at running than females, as this trans-girl had quite emphatically beaten her to 2nd place in a sprint and she didn't think it was fair. I explained why males were faster due to their physiology and had a brief chat about how more and more people are standing up and talking about trans-women in female sport, even though they fear retaliation and cancellation.

DD went off to bed reasonably appeased, I am bloody annoyed though. It was only a PE race (she does run in inter-schools events too), but she has a neurodivergent diagnosis and has struggled somewhat academically, but the one thing she's always had is that she's good at sports.

NB: I've name changed for this as I know the mum quite well and am reasonably identifiable via previous threads.

I'm sorry your daughter is having to deal with this obvious nonsense. Common sense and critical thinking appear to have left the building in many academic settings.

That's really bloody unfair.

I'm really sorry, OP. That's so unfair.

It's unfair and if allowed to continue will drive girls further out of sport. We are becoming second class citizens in our own sex.

How can anyone think that a name change, some different clothes and a request to use she/her pronouns merits a male child being eligible to compete against female students? It's obviously unfair.

Very, very unfair. 😡

I'm also a bit angry myself; I should be standing up to the school about this, setting a good example to DD and bolstering her to feel confident enough to do the same, but I just don't think I could cope with the fallout.

I would talk to the leadership team at school, possibiy the PE department and if that fails.. the governors.

Start with quotations from the Court of Arbitration in Sport and the ruling on the Caster Semenya case. There is alot of good baseline statements in there.

The latest IOC statments talk about balancing inclusion and fair competition. Ask them why males and females are seperated for sport. Ask them if they believe that women deserve fair competition.

Good luck. Your poor daughter.. I am so sorry that she is a victim of this insistence that trans rights trump womens rights.

I'll definitely take a look at these, and try to grow some ... (aghh, need a female version of the saying) ... ovaries (?).

Trying not to be too outing here, but I know the mum socially and professionally and am in the gender-critical closet still so to speak. The school very proudly display their Stonewall accreditation in the foyer so not sure how receptive they'll be.

Massive namechange fail there - eugh, fuck it.

Is the child also allowed to play contact sports with the girls? Losing a race is 'just' unfair. Football tackle, a tennis serve etc could potentially be dangerous

If you have not already done so and your girl has issues around reading social context or subtle social ques, I would recomend that you make sure you have read the school policies around sex segragation for safeguarding, bullying etc. etc. If she had to check with you, that the male is still a male, you need to know how the school would react if she points out that the male has a biological advantage in sports.

I think querying why the separation of children at school by sex for sport isn't happening is reasonable.
Remain polite, supportive and firm.
Where us this child changing for pe?

I only know about the track sports so far but will ask DD.

Hello, my name is....what again!?

Ironically I don't think either of the kids is a winner in this. Your daughter seems more directly discriminated against at the moment. Then there's the whole changing room thing. Best of luck OP.

Thinking back on the conversation in detail, I don't think she did ask me if she was still biologically male but rather she stated it to me and went straight into the question about biological males and sports. My mistake. But she does struggle with social cues so you make a good point and am currently scouring the school's policies online.

Could you contact transgender trend or safe schools Alliance for advice? They may have some literature (I've seen the TT content and it's lovely) that could help support you.

Also; the 2 sports which have conducted a reasonable attempt at looking at the fairness of males in female sports have come up with these policies:

www.world.rugby/the-game/player-welfare/guidelines/transgender/women

The above is also relevant to contact sports: but I would also argue that males in female netball and hockey sports would pose a risk and schools may not have adequate insurance to cover for injuries (given these are sex-segregated for that very reason).

https://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/news/wsca-releases-position-on-transgender-swimming-inclusion-fairness-cannot-coexist-in-current-model/?fbclid=IwAR1fdNZ5TrYNgFcFk0oakMv3Eqt-Dww_o4KsuUVgnzYvcsoFXJxJr7XFkvo

You're all being so helpful - thanks! I hadn't even thought of speaking to Transgender Trend or Safe Schools Alliance.

That’s outrageous OP. Hope you can get it sorted out for your daughter’s sake.

Its getting ridiculous now

and where does this person get changed with the girls?

I'll be asking that question when she gets home.

Please contact Safe Schools Alliance about this. It is sexist and wrong. Girls need to be encouraged to stay in sports. Also where is he getting changed. Sounds like you need to check the schools Equality and Bullying policy too. Do they use gender instead of sex, if the answer is yes then they are misrepresenting the Equality Act 2010. Good resources on Safe Schools Alliance under letter templates and Factsheets to resolve this.

We have to make a stand against this on our schools. Now is the time to be brave. You are doing nothing wrong only reminding them of the law not Stonewall preferred law.
Good luck.
P.S so pissed off at these narcisstic twerps pupils, parents and teachers.

It's not just unfair, it's outright taking the piss.

Another approach is to remind the school that they have an outstanding opportunity here to educate boys into being accepting of non-conforming males.

And of course the response will include the words "most marginalised"

Playing devils advocate here; if the boy concerned hasn't gone through puberty, surely there is a limited biological advantage?