Sex Matters Guidance for schools

[respectmysex]

I sent my DS primary school Head the guidance using this link.

sex-matters.org/take-action/send-guidance-to-school/

I complained last year after PHSE lesson contained the 'born in the wrong body' explanation along with the caveat that kids could only change if they really really believe they were born in the wrong body. This was year 4.

I complained as a disabled parent who can't opt out of my body, and also because I experienced traumatic puberty. I started my periods age 8, was neglected by my mum and never given sanitary towels, I had to make do myself until I started high school. I was also sexually abused and that started when I was 9, having already grown breasts and was wearing a B cup bra. I would have opted out of my female body in a heartbeat if it were possible. I'm so glad I didn't know it was possible to halt puberty, to stop periods, have my breasts removed and hide my female body by becoming a trans boy. I know 100% I would have gone down that route.

I received a reply from the Head Teacher which I'll add in a separate post.

From the Head Teacher: Thank you for your email and the attached documentation. I have taken the time to read it and consider what it says. It touches on many highly emotive, and controversial, issues and I appreciate your concern around these issues. Since we last spoke about this subject, I have clarified with staff the boundaries of dealing with questions that fall outside our stated curriculum, and how we respond to children's natural curiosity about things they hear and see around them. Staff should be aware of the content they are being asked to cover, and the content already covered. If a question relates to already taught material, it can be recapped and revisited; if it a question regarding something being covered within the unit currently being taught, it can be 'paused' (ie. "We'll come back to that question in next week's work."); if it is covered in future years, the expected response is along the lines of "You'll be looking at that in Year ..". If it is not covered at all, and transgender issues and gender identity is not covered in our curriciulum beyond a more generic 'respect' approach, then the questioner should be referred back to his/her parents, who may be 'tipped off' by the teacher that a question may be coming their way.
I hope this helps clarify our approach, and I am more than happy to have a further conversation around our Relationships and Sex Education Policy and curriculum if you wish. Please just contact me and I will arrange a suitable time.

I'm very happy with the outcome and just want to recommend this guidance to any parent who has concerns. It very well written, reasonable and sensitive to the needs of all, while being uncompromising on safeguarding. As it should be. Thank you to everyone at Sex Matters.

That is a good outcome.

Well done to you for making such an appropriate and valuable use of Sex Matters' guidance.

Great response.

Thank you. I wanted other parents to see the outcome. When I first spoke to the head, he had no idea that DfE guidance had changed and been reissued during Covid. He compared my views and concerns with his experience of having taught during the section 28 days, I knew he didn't get it at all. I feel his response now is perfect and exactly what every parent should be able to expect.

That seems like a really sensible way to manage questions. I think teachers, especially younger ones, often need quite specific direction like that.

I sent it to the deputy head (also PSHE lead) at my DC primary school. She thanked me for sending it and said it was very useful, she will be sharing it with colleagues.

Have also sent it to the local Scouts group as it says it may be useful to some youth organisations. The local Scouts leader seemed slightly shocked when I recently made him aware of recent developments re. SW and media coverage/ court cases etc. He sent me a link to the SA guidance on Transgender policies (in a bid to be helpful). He’s clearly oblivious to wider debate (or maybe being disingenuous). Have got my red pen out ready to show him where the law has been misrepresented in their webpage.

Thank you respectmysex
This is such a positive outcome and highlights how easily busy teachers can be captured by the lobby groups determinedly pushing their anti safeguarding, anti child welfare ideologies at schools.